Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Day 213
“The self is always in danger of being submerged in anonymity, of becoming a thing. To celebrate is to contemplate the singularity of the moment and to enhance the singularity of the self. What was shall not be again”. (Who is Man pg. 115)
Reading this teaching reminds me of God’s need for us and the paths we often take to dehumanize our self, submerging our selves in anonymity, making ourselves into objects, robots, automatons, rather than living, breathing, imperfect, unique selves. I believe our need to belong, while necessary and true, often leads us astray. We often find our selves ‘going along to get along’ in order to ‘belong’ and be part of something greater than ourselves. We often are just ‘following orders’ so we are not shunned and cast out of the particular group we have joined. We begin to agree with ideas and actions that go against our Higher Self morality just to ‘belong’, all the while thinking ‘if they really knew who I am, they would not want me’.
This thinking permeates so much of our falseness, our hiding, our fears of being found out that we sink into anonymity so we don’t slip up, show our true self and be shunned. This is, I believe, the path to “becoming a thing”. We have learned to ‘not rock the boat’ for fear of reprisals, becoming unpopular, etc. Even many of the people who supposedly shun the group are doing it from a place of hiding, of not wanting to be known, to believing they are not good enough. While many people put on the facade of ‘look at me, see how smart/successful I am’ most are afraid to be seen’warts and all’ for fear of becoming unpopular. Social media has made stars of people for their falseness, for their outrageousness, and this is another form of “being submerged in anonymity” I believe. Celebrity has become a thing, the celebrities are marketing themselves as a thing and then, when they realized they have become a thing and are being used by so many other people, they get mad, sad, upset, etc. Belonging is the greatest experience when it is real, when we belong as our whole self and it is the most excruciating experience when we belong only because we are being false.
People who join cults, movements, which seek to dehumanize another group, people who join groups which seek to set themselves above another group, people who engage in stereotyping another group of humans so they can feel good about themselves and mollify their unethical, inhumane ways of treating God’s creations, are all “submerging” themselves in anonymity, are all “becoming a thing”. They become tools of charismatic leaders who are so narcissistic they see no one but themselves and need to see their reflection in their followers. When we are engaged in the anonymity Rabbi Heschel is speaking of, we have submerged our uniqueness that is our birthright, we are sinking into the quicksand of a fool’s errand: trying to belong to groups that do not honor, want nor respect our uniqueness, brilliance, our vision.
We do this because we are afraid of being alone, of being lonely. Yet, we know, in our souls, we are more alone and lonely because we are being phony and fake. We are doing things that we may or may not believe in just to be part of something/anything. We are convinced that their is strength in numbers and we need other people to fend off the attacks by our enemies, by people who are trying to take what we have worked for and, while true to a certain extent, this belief causes us to be overtaken by our worst enemy-our inner fears and negativity, our belief in our own lack of being sufficient and not good enough, our false belief we need others to approve of us to be ok, etc. We have chosen to sink into this anonymity, this “becoming a thing” because to do otherwise is to risk disapproval, to delve deep inside of our self and turn to God for sustenance and support. We are afraid that, in “our fall from grace”, God no longer cares nor is here for us-a false fear, yet the one that drives us into anonymity, I believe.
In recovery, we chose anonymity because of the prejudice against people who were drunks, addicts, people with psychological issues, personality disorders, etc. If we were ‘found out’ we could lose jobs, friendships, relationships, etc so we became anonymous and, I believe, it was a necessary action. Yet, while it is important to identify as people who share a common goal and suffer from common ailments, it is also important to remember we are like but not the same as everyone else. We share a common goal, recovery, and we all have our unique paths to it. In recovery, we are searching for our unique path, for our own purpose and passion, our own true self.
I find this teaching fascinating. I am more and more aware of the need for authentic human connection and the myriad of faux connections I have had in my lifetime. When I could do something for someone, everyone was calling, when I had ‘power’ people sought my counsel, now, in retirement, the phone rings less and my counsel is sought less. Till reading this text, I felt as if I had become anonymous, and now I realize that it is my doing, my actions of “becoming a thing”, my submerging my self in anonymity that is the issue. It is not anyone else’s doing, it is mine. I have to remember to not be a caricature of my self, to continue to bring my whole self to the table, to offer my unique service and not submerge my self to get along nor submerge my self to stay separate. I can and commit to bring my self, be my self and serve God, another human in the ways I can. I am buoyed by this teaching and Rabbi Heschel has disturbed me again so I live well and as a whole self. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark