Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 126

We the People have 6 whole days to get our priorities in order, to decide if we the Jewish people are going to continue to follow in the footsteps of the ancestors who defied God, who Ghosted God, who only called out “from the depths” as the Psalmist describes, or are We the Jewish People going to, this year with more conviction, with a better plan that in any previous years, going to be Stiff-Necked in the pursuit of connecting to God, connecting to self, living into the soul we are created to be more and more in 5787? This, of course, is the positive aspect to being stiff-necked.

The history of the Jewish People, however, doesn’t show us too many of the people staying stiff-necked for the sake of God, there are the stories of Moses saying “all who are for God…” after he comes down from the Mountain with the Tablets that he threw and cracked, there are the stories of Mattathias asking “all who are for God follow me” and in both of these cases, the result was the killing of Jews, Israelites, so these words were used for Civil War, for power grabs, for retribution, and the words of the prophets to return, to be stiff-necked for God, for decency, for the poor, the stranger, the needy, etc fell on deaf ears.

Of course we have many examples of people being stiff-necked for their power, for themselves, and it is time to focus on the stories, the examples of We the People who have, are, did stay stiff-necked for the sake of heaven, for the sake of decency, for the promotion of freedom, for fighting agains tyranny, against hatred, racism, anti-semitism, islamaphobia, etc. These stories begin in the Bible, they are scattered throughout the Torah and then when it comes to the story of David before and after he became King of Israel, we the people see what it is like to be stiff-necked for the sake of God. David listens to good advice, even from women!! He is humble enough for most of his life to take direction from God, and when he isn’t he suffers from the loneliness of separation and is referred to only as King. When he returns to God, to his authentic self, he is called David again. The prophets are so stiff-necked in the service of God they are willing to die!

What of We the People today? Is there really anything we are willing to die for? Have we the people forgotten the commandment to “not run after the majority to do evil”, Lutnick, Bessent, Jewish MAGA Republicans, et al? While it is well-documented that many people are willing to go to any lengths to make money, to support Trump and family in their grift, where are We the People who are willing to stay stiff-necked in service of Freedom, of Democracy, in love for God, in duty to be authentic?

We are alive and well, voting in elections, opposing the lies and frauds, the grift, the wars, the cozying up to dictators like Putin, Orban, et al, that both Bibi and Trump are doing with the consent of their followers, their advisors, their people. We are the people who are in recovery from a myriad of compulsions, addictions, We are the people who are actively participating in making Judaism relevant and alive, recapturing the dynamic nature the Rabbis had in mind. We are the people sitting in the pews demanding truth from our Clergy, not dumb rhetoric, not mind-numbing bullshit about “one People Israel” because We the Jewish People have never been of one mind, maybe for part of King David’s reign were We the Jewish People actually united, not the inauthentic melody of the confessional, not the coming late, leaving early that so many Jews do on these Holy Days. NO! We, the stiff-necked people who are serving a higher power, a greater purpose, who are able to rise above our own self-interest, are tapping our chests realizing these prayers are not for nor to God, they are calls to action for We the People both as a group/community and as individuals. We are the people who are at the No Kings Marches, at the Protests on street corners against the authoritarian wishes of Trump, his ‘fine christian nationalists friends’ and his ‘outstanding jewish supporters’. We are the people who have made both the decision and taking the actions to STOP GHOSTING GOD!

I have been stiff-necked my entire recovery. While there were times when my stubbornness was wrong and hurtful, most of my recovery has been about standing up for the poor, loving the stranger, helping the blind and the deaf, rebuking people when they were screwing up, loving my neighbors, fighting for what is good and right, and, “let the record show, I took the blows and did it” God’s way. I am sorry, as I have written for the lava that harmed people from my eruptions, AND I am not apologizing for staying stiff-necked in what I know was the right thing, I am apologizing for, once in a while, standing for Godliness, for what is right, for uncovering the liars, the lies, the deceivers, the deceptions in horrific ways and I am not apologizing for taking these actions. I am stiff-necked and it costs me, I don’t really belong anywhere, I am not a part of a Jewish community, and, like the prophets of old, I have to rely upon my relationship with God, with the people I know “get me”, and those I am connected to for community, for strength, for staying stiff-necked!
ACTION STEP:

What are the positive ways you are staying Stiff-Necked?

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 124

I hope everyone’s experience yesterday, Rosh Hashanah(for some the first of two) was uplifting and introspective, standing and sitting with trembling awe; the great experience of this Holy Day Season, and hearing the Shofar awoke your spirit, your intuitive mind, silenced somewhat your rational mind and quieted the self-deception part of your mind. Continuing to look at the Confessional on this 2nd day of the 10 Days of return, using the positive part of Tafalnu Sheker, acting presumptuously, is to be modest, humble, know one’s place and live into the authentic script of our soul. As Thomas Merton puts it, become the soul We the People are created to be!

Sitting in Temple yesterday, listening to the music of Rabbi Hazzan Danny Maseng, my friend, my teacher, and the amazing Sarah Lonsert, and the Choir under Danny’s direction was an out of body experience for me. It transported me to be immersed in the prayer, to pray in Ashkenazic Hebrew, the Hebrew of my youth, the Hebrew my father, z”l, would understand and the time flew by. The experience also made me think of the opposite/positive side of Tafalnu Sheker and how I was not being humble nor modest in this moment. I have a voice and I need to express the words God/Universe is giving me each day which I do in these blogs and need to figure out how to get the words God puts in my mouth, the words and ideas God fills my soul with, and not worry about the rap that I am too chaotic, that I am too loud, too brash.

Being humble and modest can only be achieved by living into one’s authentic script, jettisoning the one ‘societal norms’ calls for one to be, leaving not only your parents home, leaving their hold on one to be who they want one to be, rather than helping their child live into the person their soul is calling them to be. This is antithetical to how most of We the People understand what it means to be humble, to be modest because we the people have become adjusted to the societal norms of optics, aka what will the neighbors think; of getting ahead, being powerful, being wealthy aka, where is mine. Rosh Hashanah, the sounding of the shofar, the prayer L’Eyl Orech Din, acknowledging God is calling us to judge ourselves, and other prayers like the Grand Aleinu where we actually prostrate ourselves to demonstrate our commitment to surrender to something greater than our rational minds, our societal norms and begin anew to live authentically, to live into God’s calling, to live into ways of being that are compatible with being a partner with God in making our world a little better each day.

Knowing one’s place has been misused, misunderstood, and weaponized just as the Bible has, as Rosh Hashanah has become. In the Torah, it is a time for  “a holy gathering”, for the blowing of the Shofar and for remembering, leading into Yom Kippur, the day of atonement, “a holy gathering”. Far too many of we the people use “knowing one’s place” to keep someone else out, it has been used in this country against every immigrant community, even though the Founding Fathers, Mothers, Sons, Daughters were either immigrants of children of immigrants, which is true to this day. Only the Native Americans can claim to be the original citizens and they may have immigrated from somewhere else. Yet, people in power, those fine ‘white male christian nationalists’ want women to ‘know their place’ and not vote, want “those people” aka people of color, people who are not white christian nationalists, to ‘know their place’ which in both cases is under the thumb of these ‘fine christian nationalist gentlemen’. And their are Jews, Muslims, Blacks, Gays, Hispanics who still support these bigots, these presumptuous assholes!

It is hard to take one’s proper place in the world. It is scary and, as the prophets attest to, dangerous. The need to compete, to go along to get along, to be part of something is so strong in We the People that many times we make the wrong choices, going against what the soul calls for and what God wants. I know this, to belong someplace, to believe somebody really knew me and cared about me, I went to criminals to find a home, to belong somewhere. Even though I was active in my Temple, I was at home in the Shul, the pull of ‘making money’, the lie of self-worth is equal to net-worth, with money you are someone, without it you are a nobody overwhelmed me because either I wasn’t taught, didn’t learn (both can be true) about T’Shuvah, about the call to see how being modest wasn’t/isn’t  a bad thing, being humble didn’t/doesn’t mean you got shit on, that being good truly is its own reward and the only way in which I can live in my skin. I have found the power of return to be everything  the prophets promised, using the confessional as my guide for the entire year, not just during these 40 days can power me to go beyond my own dreams and beliefs. I know the power of return, I know Judaism, 12-Steps, Catholicism, all call for confessions, for repairing the damage wrought to another(s), to oneself throughout the entire year, every day in fact and I know engaging in this path is my way to wholeness, to joy, to relief, to connection, to kindness, to love, to truth, to justice, to being a Mensch!

ACTION STEP

Write down how you are living into your authentic script and how you can continue to grow into your authentic self a little more this year

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Stop Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 123

Well, the day is here, Rosh Hashanah Eve! While not the BIG DAY, it is the beginning of the period of judgment, the beginning of the 10 days of T’Shuvah/Return, and a moment when, at least on Sunday, We the People will hear the sound of the Shofar calling us to WAKE UP. What better way to wake up than to listen to the words of the prayers calling We the People to realize, acknowledge, and engage in the process of returning to God, returning to our community, returning to our authentic self. “But we do this every Shabbat” some might say and I know most people believe this-yet the question that Tafalnu Sheker (the practice of deceit, the practice of false accusations) comes to ask us: Are you being authentic when you are with God, with Community, with Self? How often are you worried that someone will “find out the truth about me”, that you will be unveiled as the imposter you believe yourself to be?

In the Jewish tradition, tonight begins the period of being ‘judged’, not by God, rather by ourselves, by the community. Tafalnu Sheker, while not spoken tonight, tomorrow, not until a week from Sunday in the Afternoon Service, hangs over we the people. There can be no preparation for Rosh Hashanah, no authentic experience of this moment without judgment, without introspection, so to continue to engage in the practice of deceit, to continue to accuse another falsely, to continue to deny forgiveness and find rapprochement with someone who has helped you, who comes to make things right is necessary. Yet, we the people while saying this sin, continue to practice it, revel in the power to keep ‘those people, that person’ on the outside. Have We the Jewish People truly learned nothing since the destruction of both Temples, have We the Jewish People forgotten the Rabbinic reason for the destruction of the first, the way we treated the strangers, the widows, the orphans, the needy, the poor? Have We the Jewish People forgotten the Rabbinic reason for the destruction of the 2nd Temple-senseless hatred? Yet, We the Jewish People collectively will confess this sin and continue to practice it!! It is infuriating to me, it is enraging, it is what the Prophets told the People Israel, the People of Judea, it is what their words tell us today and like our ancestors, We the Jewish People refuse to hear, listen, and understand!

When the Shema is recited in Temple on tonight, tomorrow, and Sunday-will anyone take this prayer seriously? Have We the Jewish People become so regulated, so used to, so oblivious to Tafalnu Sheker that we continue to fool ourselves, continue to live in the self-deception that it is ‘those people’ who are wrong, who are bad, who practice deceit, who…? Unfortunately, it seems that  many of We the Jewish People have. When I read on my list serve the idea that Rabbis should not criticize Israel, maybe Netanyahu, but not Israel, it bewilders me. The People of the State of Israel, aka Israelis, voted Netanyahu into office, knowing he was/is a crook, promoted such hatred and anger and suggestions that someone assassinated Yitzchak Rabin, was/is a bully so yes, the Israeli people are responsible for what Netanyahu does. They have not demanded an Inquiry into what he knew before Oct.7th and the Rabbis are afraid of the Truth? These so-called religious leaders are phony, they are engaging in Tafalnu Sheker in these 10 days of T’Shuvah, 10 days of returning  to truth, authenticity, God!  This is not to say that Israel is a terrible place, that it should not exist- Heaven Forbid-I am saying that I am a Zionist, I am a believer in what Israel represents to the Jewish People and to the World, I am an ardent advocate for the Israeli people who bring so much innovation, medical breakthroughs, etc to the world, who show up to help in every catastrophe that happens around the globe and should not be judged by it’s worst act!

Even though in many communities the Shofar will not be sounded tomorrow-not sure why when God orders it without thought of Shabbat or not- We the Jewish People, We all the People, need to hear the call of the moment, the call to remember this is the birthday of the world and the world was brought into being through truth, that light is the creation that God fashioned for We the People and God keeps calling us back to our relationship, AYECHA, where are you still reverberates throughout the world. It is WAY PAST TIME for We the Jewish People, We all the People to respond with HINENI! Here we are, Here I am. It is WAY PAST TIME for All of We the People to end our practice of deceit, end our false accusations, end our listening to the deceit of another, the false accusations by another and stand tonight, tomorrow, throughout 5787! Please take a moment of silence to honor those who died on this day, 25 years ago because of false accusations, the practice of deceit and senseless hatred.

Shana Tova, Happy, Sweet, Good New Year

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 122

Continuing with the missing the marks that the Ashamnu Prayer delineates, one that always intrigues me is “Tafalnu Sheker”, “we have practiced deceit” is the translation in the Mahzor I use, another translation is “we have accused falsely”. The more I am engaged in ‘getting older’, ie wiser I hope, the more subtleties do I realize about these “missing the marks” that We the People say each year and, unfortunately, pay no real attention to! Can you imagine the changes that could come about, the returns the prophets cried out for begin to happen if we the people would stop, hear ourselves say these words, listen to another(s) say these words, and understand the implications, what this admission is really all about? Sitting here this morning, immersing myself in these two words strikes me with the realization that the Jews in the Pews, while confessing this “missing the mark” are still committing it! WTF, People!

As we the people are saying these words and not hearing them in our being, not listening to nor understanding the wide range these two words encompass, ignoring the myriad of ways both covertly and overtly we the people “practice deceit”, “accuse another falsely” makes we the people liars, and, I believe, sinners in the worst possible ways-following the pattern of Josef Goebbels, “accuse another of that which you are guilty of”, claiming “optics” to validate bad behavior, using the vulnerabilities of another against them, taking unfair advantage just because you can, allowing knowingly innocent people to die because they have had “due process”, spreading the cancer of prejudice in order to have power and because of fear that what the white man did to everyone else, they will do to them, etc. And we the people go deaf to these two words as we speak them 5 times on Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur, beginning with the Mincha Service on the day of Kol Nidre!

I am wondering how Jared Kushner goes and sits in Shul all day on Yom Kippur, says these words over and over again and continues to screw anyone and everyone he can, abusing the ‘position’ he has because his father-in-law (who is a Jew-Hater, a woman-hater, a Muslim Hater, a Racist, etc) gives him cover to engage in “Tafalnu Sheker”! Is he really this oblivious? Are We the People this oblivious? I think about the Clergy who are leading the services, are they this oblivious as they rail against the Arabs in the West Bank, as they promote Israel is always right, “poor Israel”, and “practices of deceit” like “We are One People”, “The People Israel Live”, as if Jews were ever a monolith, except for maybe under King David, Jews have been at odds with one another forever AND, we the Jewish People share a history, share a faith, share a way of being that we all practice in our own way.

Trump, Vance, the Republicans, AOC, Bernie, Chuck, the Democrats all practice deceit and try to cover it up with ‘they are worse than we are’ bullshit. I understand Rabbi Heschel’s statement about politicians not being trustworthy and Statesmen/Stateswomen being the finest of leaders. This “accusing falsely” has reached great heights in the past 11 years, in the past 30+ years since Gingrich took over the House and made politics into a war zone and, as people like to say, “all is fair in love and war”, so whatever deceit one wants to practice is good in the eyes of those “fine white christian male and female nationalists’ who misquote and misuse the words of the Bible, the words and deeds of Christ. Yet, the Jews among the Republicans and Democrats will go to Temples and Synagogues around the country and ‘confess’ to the sin of “Tafalnu Sheker” and not think it applies to them.

The more I write, the more I am engaged and enraged at this truth, the more I am searching my own self to see if I still ‘confess’ falsely, if I still say what I have to in order to get the heat off and not pay attention to my words. I can say not too much and I know I still do so my search in these next 12 days is to find those places and root them out, make my amends and change the patterns. I have worked hard to not “practice deceit” in these 39+ years since my recovery, my return began in a Jail Cell in Van Nuys, Ca. I still do, however, practice it with Harriet when I hide my smoking from her, when I forget to tell her something, when I don’t bother to share with her. I know the deceit about the smoking is because I should not be and I keep stopping and picking it back up, the rest I don’t do on purpose and, as we spoke about yesterday, I have to be more aware of. I am not as concerned about the root of the problem, where it comes from as I am in the solution-speaking up more, sharing more, and NOT HIDING! Confessing this sin, realizing how far reaching this action is, how subtlety I can practice it, is giving me new insight into self and another(s), it is giving me the courage to admit all my flaws, my “missing the marks” out loud so you can also, or at least admit them to your self, so that all of We the People can be responsible to not buy into the deceit of another, not buy into the self-deceptions we practice.
ACTION STEP:
Ask yourself how you “practice deceit and accuse another falsely”

Write down the ways you “practice deceit” within your self

How are you not hearing the sins of another, the sins of self during the confessional?

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 121

Along with our internal uplifting speech, it is important to do the same with another(s).  We the People are taught in the Talmud that each and every person is worth an entire world, has infinite dignity and worth, and that to save one soul is to save the world. Hence we are obligated to uplift one another so each one of us can be bolstered to do the task assigned at birth, the unique task that is different from everyone else’s, that is only ours to do. The teaching in the Talmud referenced above, on Sanhedrin 37a, also says every human being has EQUAL, infinite dignity and worth as well as reminding us that each of us is unique so the idea that one is supposed to be in competition with another(s) is anathema to this teaching, the idea that one is to compare oneself with another(s) is just as ridiculous-ergo: We the People are obligated to lift one another up with our speech, our energy, our belief in their ability to find and live their purpose in life so we all can live better. Just as if a letter, a word is missing from the Torah, as my friend and teacher Rabbi Ed Feinstein teaches, the Torah is unusable, so too if one of us is missing from doing our unique task the world becomes unusable. The competition, comparison game that is a societal norm is WRONG! So, Radical Amazement and Wonder are the call of this day and every day-being maladjusted to the norms and cliches, the rational minds logic, etc and engaging our intuitive minds, our knowing in our kishkas, our search for Truth, our actions of kindness, love, caring, uplifting and helping one another have to be our daily goals and mottos!

This is one of the reasons I believe it is crucial for We the People to use our uplifting speech with another human being. Because life is not lived alone, because community is so important according to the Bible, because “it is not good for humans to be alone”, because “I will make a helpmate for the human”, because No one is the end all, be all, no one knows it all, no one is “the only one who can save us”, living together in harmony, in being helpers, in caring for the stranger and the sick, the needy and the poor, is not measured in money, in time, in anything except kindness, compassion, love. One of the kindest, caring, compassionate expressions of love is that of uplifting speech. Think about how much it mattered when our parents told us “you can do this” and were at the ‘finish line’ waiting no matter where we finished. I remember my father being at every track meet my brother Neal participated in waiting for him at the finish line and if he wasn’t we knew either he could not make it back or he was in the hospital. I remember my father being at a tap dance recital I was in and cheering me on, telling me I could win for Student Council office, proud I was a member of the Temple Youth Group, and, I have come to understand, lifting me up when he would ask me if I really did my best on a test, in a situation, knowing I was giving in to my selfish needs rather than helping another and myself. His rebukes and the rebukes of many others were/are uplifting speech because they remind me the people, God have faith in me, have belief in me, and need me to live into doing the best I can in this moment.

As we are only 2.5 days from Rosh Hashanah, as we still have 12.5 days to do our Accounting of our Souls, We the People need to see how and when we have been mentors, coaches, positive influencers for another(s), We the People need to take not of the myriad of opportunities we availed ourselves of to end our incessant inauthentic need to compare and compete, to win at all costs and lifted another human being up to their rightful place, to see and live into their purpose and not feel less than because we did not ‘win’. Experiencing the joy of helping another person is indescribable, as Harriet Rossetto says, “witnessing the transformation of spirit of another human being is the greatest joys one can have” or something similar. This is the opportunity each and every one of us has and we can relive this experience through this inventory, and awakening to more situations where we can be of service in this way.

I have been privileged and honored to help many people with my actions and my speech, both positive and negative speech, telling people when they are screwing up  and when they are hitting the bullseye, giving suggestions to people on how to fulfill their soul’s desire and mission, how to defeat the negative, slanderous speech of their inner life and of those around them who don’t want to see them succeed. I also have been the recipient of uplifting speech from Harriet, from Rabbi Mel Silverman, from my brothers and sister, from my Rabbis and teachers, from the people I studied/study with, from the community, from my father’s words which I remember each day. Because of these gifts, I OWE! I owe it to the universe, to God to help another with uplifting speech, I owe it to you all to keep writing and help each other see when we are Ghosting our Self, our authentic Self and thereby Ghosting God. It is the time for me and for you to make the commitment to do this less in the coming year, to be more in line with the Divine in 5787!

ACTION STEP:

Write a list of people whom you have helped with uplifting speech

Write a list of people who have helped you with their uplifting speech

At the end of each list, write down how you are going to honor the obligation that both of these actions put upon you-showing reciprocity of generosity

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 119

Tomorrow,  Rabbi Ed Feinstein and I will be doing our 2nd Melton Learning Session on T’Shuvah, Heschel, Forgiveness-Please join through the Melton Website www.melton.org

Continuing with Slanderous Speech, we the people also have to look at how small it makes us, how little we become in our own eyes when committing this sin against ourselves and how small and little we become in the eyes of another(s) when we aim our Slanderous Speech towards someone else. There is a “conventional notion” that if I can cut you down, I become bigger and we experience this in our politics, in our business’, in our faith communities, in our families and it is a CANCER that continues to eat away at our relationships with one another and our relationship with God. In these waning days of Elul, our spiritual, moral, physical well-being as well as that of the USA, Israel, nations across the globe are dependent on We the People CURING this CANCER! It AIN’T EASY!! From a very young age, we learn to deny our guilt, blame it on someone else, and then get mad when we experience the consequences of our behaviors, just like Adam and Eve! This is how far back this cycle goes and it is WAY PAST TIME for We the People begin to cure this Cancer of Slanderous Speech, this Cancer of believing to get ahead, I have to make someone else bad; to win the race, I have to attack my opponent and make them my enemy; to be #1 in the family, I have to be in competition with my siblings; etc.

This behavior is on full display both here and in Israel, in living technicolor as they say. Trump, Vance, Hegseth, et al are constantly speaking ill of their ‘enemies’, aka anyone seeking the TRUTH. Netanyahu is speaking ill of the Reservists, the Supreme Court, his opposition-both of these autocrats and their cronies wanting complete control, complete freedom to break any law they want, to make as much as possible off their being in office, and will go to any and all lengths to engage in Slanderous Speech-I can just picture Netanyahu going to Temple and asking God for forgiveness when he has no thought of changing his ways! YIKES

This phenomenon is so prevalent throughout history, one would think that We the Jewish People repeating the sin of Slanderous Speech so many times on Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur both silently and out loud, would LEARN and We the Jewish People in keeping with the ways of our ancestors rather than the lessons of the prophets continue to engage in slanderous speech to our detriment, to the detriment of another(s), and to spit in God’s ‘face’! WTF PEOPLE???!!! “When will we ever learn” as Pete Seeger keeps asking! The Second Temple was destroyed, according to Rabbinic Lore, because of senseless hatred, because of Slanderous Speech and We the People continue to engage in same thinking the results will be different? Talk about Einstein’s definition of Insanity!! While it is true that Gossip is a “delicious pleasure” as Rabbi Jonathan Omer-man described it in a class back in 1989, it is also true that it causes great harm to the three people involved; the person the gossip is about, the person hearing the gossip, and the person speaking it. We the People seem to forget the harm Slanderous Speech, gossip does to our souls, to our inner life, to our intuitive minds-it numbs us out and gives more and more power to the rational mind which may seem logical and is going to kill us with it’s ‘logic’. What is logical, what is holy, what is healthy is “love your neighbor as your self”, what is smart and covenantal is “remember you were strangers in the land of Egypt”, what is crucial is “don’t stand idly by the blood of your neighbors”.

To begin to change, We the People have to make a decision to let go of this type of “stinking thinking” as we say in AA, and return to our primordial state of being-connection to God, connection to one another, realizing our deep need for one another. A baby cannot survive without help, a child cannot learn without help, a teen cannot rebel without help, an adult cannot get a job without someone having a company or filling a need themselves with their own company.  No one is a Self-Made Man, Bill Gates needed people to buy into, literally and figuratively, to the idea of Word and We the People did, making him a rich man and helping ourselves to a way of communicating that has survived the test of time. Every one of our heroes in the Bible needed help, it did no good to engage in Slanderous Speech-look what it did to Esau and Jacob, to Jacob and Isaac, to Rebecca who is never heard about again in the Bible!

This is the time and right here is the place to look at the ways we engage in Slanderous Speech-I have done a very good job this year of not doing this, I have allowed people to say what they will, I have not needed to slander anyone-I have allowed them to slander themselves, and I have not been hurt by anyone’s slanderous speech about me-the damage was already done and I am in acceptance of what is, the hurts don’t go away, they just wear away and become less and less a part of my being.
ACTION STEP:

Make a list of the people whom you have spoken slanderously about and prepare to make your amends

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 118

This Tuesday, Rabbi Ed Feinstein and I will be doing our 2nd Melton Learning Session on T’Shuvah, Heschel, Forgiveness-Please join

The next “missing the mark” of the Ashamnu Prayer is: “speaking slander” and Rabbi Omer-man taught us to, as the Kotzker Rebbe said about the commandments, “make it personal”. Today I want to talk about the slander we speak to and about our self. While not being positive at what point in life it begins, I am reasonably certain that the slanderous speech We the People have engaged in began in early childhood, maybe the first time we got scolded, the first time we realized imperfections is the lot in life of all human beings, the first time we were made fun of because of a quirk we have, the first time… After this ‘first time’ of being made fun of, being corrected, being punished, it seems as if we the people, like Adam and Eve, went into hiding, started to be careful and wary of what we showed to another(s) and became very self-protective AND we the people also have bought into the laughter, the punishing, the needing to be corrected, seeing our imperfections as bad, etc! Herein lies the issue, the beginning of “speaking slander” or as Rabbi Omer-man taught-negative self-talk.

I can remember way back in my own life to when I was 3 years old and ‘took a walk around the block’ because no one was watching me and I was not seen, that my mother and brothers blamed me! I bought into this and began to berate myself in any number of ways and, for all of my bravado, I believed the “slanderous speech” I was spewing upon my soul, my inner life, leading me to continue down a road of “it doesn’t matter what I do, someone will berate me for it, so I might as well be bad rather than be falsely accused”. I remember this thought vividly, as I am writing this, I am having a physical reaction to this memory and I am so aware of how dumb this was to do to myself AND how much sense it seemed to make to me. Only upon returning to the Bible, only upon beginning to immerse myself in the Bible, the prophets, did I begin to realize that there is no perfection, there is only return, there is no being a goody two shoes, only people trying to get it right, there is no banishment in God’s world for making an error, there is only a desire for me/us to return. WOW, this changed everything for me, I began to speak to myself a little nicer, I still have problems with this, especially at the Bridge Table-OY!!

While there is a point in which we the people engage in so much “slanderous speech” against our self that T’Shuvah becomes very difficult, yet even Pharaoh, in Parasha Bo, still has his God-Image when God says to Moses: “Come to Pharaoh”. I believe the use of the word “come” is meant to teach us that God doesn’t leave us, it is our negative self-talk that causes we the people to leave God, to ignore the truth: We the People are created in the Image of God; We the People are Divine Reminders, Divine Needs; We the People each day are given the gift of our soul being returned so how ‘bad’ can we be if God has faith and compassion for We the People?

Wherever the thoughts come from, whenever they rear their ugly, venomous, hateful words, We the People have the opportunity to NOT BUY IN! We the People by living into a spiritual discipline, living into a program of recovering our essence, of returning to who we truly are-children of God, holy people-, and setting our intentions to have a response to the self-deceptions we the people are constantly buying into, the rationalizations we come up with, etc is a crucial part of each and every day. It is a matter of life and death for many we the people. It is very difficult to “accentuate the positive” when “eliminate the negative” is proving to be so impossible and “messing with Mr. In-Between” only leads we the people more astray, because we are trying to deny a negative and it is IMPOSSIBLE to do this, hence the need of each and every human being to hear the self-correcting speech as positive, as belief We the People can return, can improve AND NOT as a berating of self!

As I am writing this, as I said earlier, this is still a work in progress for me, and like many people, I sometimes blame another-usually Harriet- for my mistakes, because I still fall into old traps of equating making a mistake with being a mistake! I am constantly searching for more and more of the subtleties of “slanderous speech” and each year, doing this inventory helps me realize more and more ways I deceive myself, I harm myself, I betray myself by “speaking slander” to and against myself!
ACTION STEPS:
How are you “speaking slander” against your self

What do you gain from doing this

How has negative self-talk promoted you to hide more

How has the hiding more because of slanderous speech got you money, property, prestige

What is the state of your soul, are you dangerously close to Pharaoh’s path of losing his way back?

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Stop Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 117

Since we looked at misappropriation, aka stealing, yesterday, We the People have to look at the myriad of ways we took the next right action, how often we were living in proper measure. Just as looking at the good we have done, seeing the ways stayed true to our principles, without engaging in the ways  and situations we take the next right action is very important for being able to acknowledge the WHOLE of our beingness, it is also one with which many of We the People are uncomfortable with.

While the hope and prayer of every spiritual discipline, of which Judaism, Christianity, Islam are, is to be accepting of all that enters our countenance, our realms, it is obvious that this is impossible for human beings! So, these spiritual disciplines all have their unique ways to “welcome us back home” after an error AND to cheer We the People on for doing the next right action. To many people this cheering feels kinda dumb-why should I be honored, cheered, rewarded for doing what I am supposed to do-many of us ask. The reason, I believe, is to give us the strength, encouragement, impetus to do the next right thing more often, especially when it is hard, when it could go against our own self-interest. Also, it is a recognition that We the People are adhering to, engaging in, reveling in the Covenant with God, hearing the Voice from Sinai call out to us, and not ignoring the pleas of the stranger, the needy, the poor.

I know this way of being is “out of vogue” right now, we the people seem to be more narcissistic than ever, more cruelty practiced than anytime since Nazi Germany, Stalin’s Russia, the pogroms, etc. Hence the importance of We the People to look at and see how we have done the next right thing, how we have stood up to the bullies, the creeps, the grifters, the thieves, the idolators and liars, the desecrators of God’s Name, those who are swearing falsely in the Name of Jesus. This inventory is to give us the strength to admit our assets, to acknowledge our readiness to serve something higher than ourselves. It is the ultimate rebellion because instead of rebelling against something/someone, We the People are rebelling to God, to decency, to Truth, to Love, to Kindness, to Trust, to Service, to Compassion, to Forgiveness, to Being Right Sized, etc.

It is also a moment for We the People to gather ourselves with like-doing people, people for whom taking a leap of faith is secondary to “taking a leap of action” as Rabbi Heschel calls upon us to do. It is a moment for We the People to appreciate the “roads less traveled” that We have taken, the help we have received from another, taking the time to thank the people who have helped us along the way once again-there is never a better time to remember all the aid and comfort, help and guidance We the People have received in order to be able to stand in this place, in this moment, in front of the mirror, in front of God, in front of one another. It is also a moment to remember doing the next right action is not for anyone but oneself! Of course it helps another human being, of course it brings us closer to God, to the Universe, AND the action is taken so an individual can better live with her/himself. I am thinking about the resentments I have had when I was doing the next right thing and another(s) were not, they got what they wanted and I was ‘stuck’ taking care of business, how these resentments fueled my criminality and alcoholism. OY, I am experiencing such remorse right now, AND I am experiencing such JOY because I have let go of these stupid resentments, I do the next right thing because IT IS THE NEXT RIGHT THING-without much expectation of any reward and I always get the knowing in my kishkas, my gut, that I am okay in the moment I am doing the next right thing and the afterglow of this as well.

Knowing how we live in proper measure, how we do Tzedakah because we should, taking the actions needed to live a full, holy, joyous life all come from the Bible, all are spoken about in the Torah, by the Prophets, in the various books of Psalms, Proverbs, etc. While many of We the People proclaim they are past religion, they are beyond the need of the Biblical Commandments, they are humanists, I have great fear of people who are unwilling to surrender to anything, anyone other than themselves! Hence the importance of doing this part of our inventory. This is the balancing principle so We the People do not get so down on ourselves for our “missing the marks” or so uninterested in seeing our part in each and every action/aspect of life.

There is much talk about self-esteem, self-worth, etc and Knowing, Acknowledging, Proclaiming our actions that have helped another(s), our following the commandments to serve, to care for, to be in truth, to “pursue righteousness”, to “do justly”, to “love mercy”, are very impactful and lasting ways to see our worth, to build up our esteem as well as see the same in another(s). We the People must do this part of the inventory in order to NOT give in to the LIES of the Bullies, not do a clean up of the CRUELTY of the fundamentalists, those ‘good white christian male nationalists/supremacists’, those ‘fine upstanding defenders of torah, bible, orthodox/far right jews who kill people in the West Bank with impunity’! Action Step: do this inventory so you can take  action against those who do not do the next right thing.

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 116

Staying on misappropriation, We the People are being called to understand it is crucial to make a plan as to how to use our time, our wealth, our energy, really every resource we have.  Am understanding the way of the prayer a little differently right now, once we establish We the People are guilty, with these last two ‘sins’, we the people can get into the myriad of subtle and not-so-subtle ways We the People are guilty and of what, how, when we are guilty.

Upon arising, We the People give gratitude for another day, or at least that is what we are ‘supposed’ to do according to the Rabbis and it is GOOD for the SOUL to do this. Then what? Some will say we wash our hands, eyes, etc and then begin to meditate so we can prayer with intention. Another(s) will say, wash up and eat something, read some spiritual texts to get our intentions correct, still another(s) will say: awake, wash up, eat your breakfast, talk with your spouse, significant other, kids, then go to work. There are a lot of formulas for what We the People can do upon awakening. As I hear the words of this prayer in this moment, Gazalnu, comes to remind me that without a set routine, without a path to getting my being into the moment, I will be lost and flailing for the entire day-I may get shit done, it may even be important shit, it will be done with a misappropriation of energy, time, money, etc. I know this to be true because I have suffered from this experience TOO MANY TIMES!! Talk about not learning from one’s mistakes!

The routine that makes me the best I can be in the moment is: Wake up, say the Modeh Ani(gratitude prayer), make coffee, do my games to wake up my brain and get my eye/brain coordination in working order, do the Crossword of the NY Times, read the News Headlines, sit down to write. I am more keenly aware of not misusing my energy and time as I get older and I realize that I am still falling short. I spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME on my devices, I do not exercise enough, I have to not misappropriate the food my needs as opposed to the food I want. I obsess over the things I have no power to change and keep searching for ways to change the things I should. Looking at myself and this prayer is causing me to re-think and find a new plan of action to lessen my misappropriations which always leads to the lies I tell myself and the obliviousness of my existence!

Immersing ourselves in this ‘sin’ gives we the people the experience of asking “what are the important activities of my living”, “what is my plan to let go of the extraneous bullshit that I engage in which stops me from these important activities”. “How is my misappropriation of time and energy keeping me away from fulfilling my purpose, my calling, my soul’s joyousness, my intuitive mind’s knowing?” When We the People ask these questions, we find ways to “return again” to our proper place, we find the necessary actions to end our misappropriations. It is so important to realize the societal norms that push us into the ‘sin’ of misappropriation also. Without doing this step, it just seems ridiculous to delve this deeply into these subtlety disastrous behavior! Without being “maladjusted to” societal norms and mental cliches, as Rabbi Heschel exhorts us to be, what I am writing about could very well seem like the ravings of a lunatic-I get it.

When I was young, I would rave about the misappropriation of money, time, energy, etc happening in the world around me and the world in general and people would tell me “children should be seen and not heard”, my mother shushing me is a vivid memory-not to say I was in any way appropriate, mind you. I was maladjusted and had not heard, read, nor been supported by Rabbi Heschel in those days. I believe the societal norms that my father, z”l, was adjusted to, sort of, hastened his death.

Money is a BIG misappropriation, when I was young, “if you had money you were somebody, if you didn’t, you were nobody” was the belief, now this belief is on steroids and being played out all over the world. We the People have allowed the misappropriation of money to run and ruin our lives. We have made the rich and famous idols, we have elected them to the Highest Offices in our Land and are watching them misappropriate their energy to getting richer, being more cruel and meaner, hating the stranger, kicking the poor and the needy, while they claim to be “fine christian nationalist men and women”, “observant and Torah studying Jews”, “devout followers of Islam and Mohammed’s call for peace”! AND, the question in front of all of we the people in this moment is: Do you misappropriate your money by spending too much on things you don’t need to impress people you don’t like? Are you hoarding your money like a miser and not doing Tzedakah? Have you spent way too much time  on stupid shit and not attended to the call of your soul? What are the ways, things, energies, etc you engage in misappropriation? These are the ACTION STEPS-answering them for yourself, I know I am much better about money-giving away 12% of our income, not spending frivolously, better about time management and not so good still about devices, exercise, etc.

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Stop Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 115

We the People have less that 20 days to get our shit together before the BIG DAY, before Yom Kippur comes to ask us, what have you done to make things right from last year, what have you done to see a different path to take because the same situations will challenge you over and over again, what have you done to repair relationships that have frayed-not so much from harms rather from not attending to them? These questions and more are being asked of we the people on Yom Kippur and the 40 days prior give us the moments to respond to them with concrete solutions that We the People have taken and are implementing. This is what the 3rd word of the Ashamnu Prayer points us to, I believe, when we confess that We the People, the ‘regular folk’ have misappropriated our time, our efforts, our money, stolen time, money, dignity, etc from another(s).

This is another of those pesky ‘sins’ that happen without any thought, without any planning often. When we say “tomorrow” we very well may be misappropriating the moment we are in, the needs of another(s), and, since we have no idea what tomorrow brings, it may not happen then. I am GUILTY as charged AND getting better-need more work on this and maybe that is why I am writing on this pesky ‘sin’ now:)! When we spend money to show off and don’t give the Tzedakah we can, misappropriation is on full display, when the taking the time to sit with someone in need isn’t ’convenient’, when being ‘too busy’ is a constant excuse/refrain, when “why bother” is one of the first responses we have to a challenge like being moral in an immoral society, misappropriation is running rampant.

This pesky ‘sin’ is asking/demanding that we the people stop making stupid excuses for our unabashed desire to “get what we want no matter the cost”. While Daniel Farragut supposedly said “Damn the Torpedos… full speed ahead” during the Civil War, it is not a blueprint for how to live in civilian life, it is not a path to follow for wholeness, for decency, kindness, love, justice, etc. Rather, this ‘sin’ is calling out to we the people because the belief that We the People can change, can do things differently, can care for the needy and poor, can love the stranger, can do justly, love mercy, follow in the ways of God is strong, is flashing in Neon Lights during these 40 days (and at other times as well) calling us to believe in our own capacity to change, in our own capacity to return to the soul we are created to be!

We the People have, as my friend and teacher Rabbi Ed Feinstein said last night on a podcast he and I are doing on Change, Heschel and Forgiveness through the Melton Program and you can sign up for the next two Tuesdays at 7PM Eastern, 4PM Pacific time, “we regular Yidden don’t do ‘bad things’” to which I responded in abject disbelief that “regular Yidden” could believe this bullshit and these lies. This is the heart of misappropriation, believing that “I don’t’ do those things, I am not like those people” and other similar lies, ways to soothe our consciences, our deep-seated beliefs that there is “something wrong with me”, that “I am defective and everyone else has it together”. Being a practitioner of these lies, being called out as “one of those people”, helped my misappropriation of time, energy, my money, allowed me, gave me permission to lie, cheat and steal. They gave me a community of people to hang out with that were not helping me raise my spiritual life, shall we say, and these same people took good care of me.

T’Shuvah, for me is not just repentance, this time is not just about making things right, it is also about returning to my original state, to believing that each morning when I wake up, I truly notice the cleansing of my soul that took place overnight, that the returning of my soul to me by God is a show of compassion, faithfulness, love, AND knowing I can end many of my misappropriations, many of the thefts that I commit by not being me, by not hearing you, by not seeing you, by hiding from myself, by refusing to take the mantle God has put on my shoulders, by not seeing myself as the worthy, dignified human being I am. I have bought into the societal lies, I have forgotten to be maladjusted at times and these actions have brought hurt, guilt, betrayal into my life-all done by me because the people who instigated these actions were just doing their thing, in their own blindness, in their own deafness, it is I who has to stand up for me, it is I who has to say NO to misappropriations!

ACTION STEP:

Make a list of the myriad of ways you misappropriate and your plan for doing one grain of sand better each day

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 114

TONIGHT begins a 3-part series on Change, featuring Rabbi Ed Feinstein and me. To get the zoom link, please go to the Melton Website and join in with us as we talk about Change, Forgiveness, and this Holy Day Season

Staying with the Ashamnu Prayer, in order to have a true picture of our Self, we the people have to look at the ways we have stayed TRUE to our Principles, our Values, our covenantal relationship with God as told to us through the Bible, the words of Jesus, the path of peace of Mohammed, etc. This is an interesting dilemma for me, because if someone’s principles are to rape, rob, pillage and they continue to do this-are they staying ‘true’ to their ‘principles’? There are many of we the people who do this and proclaim their congruence and wrap themselves in the flag of Freedom.

Of course this is not what is meant by staying true to our covenantal relationship with God, no matter what the Lying, idol-worshipping, money-grabbing, land stealing, ‘religious people/clergy’ say! When I am speaking about staying TRUE to principles, values, God, I am speaking about the ones we find in the Bible, in the words of the prophets, in Jesus’ ways, etc. In other words, I am talking about loyalty to something greater than our own self-interests, realizing that serving God, Truth, Love, Holiness, kindness, loving the stranger, caring for the needy and poor, etc are the foundation of a “good life”, a Godly life, a Spiritual life. Seeing the ways We the People have lived into these is crucial for our mental, physical, and spiritual health as we begin the final stretch towards Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It is 20 days until YK and 10 days until RH, it is TIME TO BEGIN to see ourselves in our entirety, to realign our whole selves into Holy-selves, to repair the mistakes we keep making over and over again-both wittingly and unwittingly, with great reasoning and with lazy reasoning.

Our political, business principles are proud of their lying, their money-grabbing, their “care about the stockholders”, the lobbyists who bribe me, etc Ethics and Principles while proclaiming their love of Jesus, their adherence to the Bible, and being DEAF to the words of the prophets, ignoring the powers of compassion, forgiveness, judgment, kindness that are so overwhelming in this moment. To those of we the people who believe fervently in the misuse of the Bible, the misuse of Jesus’ words, the misuse of the Koran, We the People must have a new response to! It is not the response of going to the other end of the spectrum, it is not the response of hatred and disdain, it is not the response of seeing them as less than human. I hear the words of Jesus ringing in my ears right now: “Forgive them for they know not what they do”. While forgiveness cannot be granted until someone asks for it, makes their amends, etc, letting go of resentment can happen and this is one of the principles of compassion and kindness that is so prevalent right now. Letting go of the resentment is in line with the prophets’ continuous call to “return” to “heal your backsliding”, to knowing our fallibility, our imperfections, our vulnerabilities and GOD WANTS US BACK! We the People cannot return while holding onto resentments, holding onto hatred for a person, “hate the sin, not the sinner” as the New Testament says, “love your enemies” as the Bible teaches.

Looking at the myriad of ways we have stayed True to the principles and values that God holds dear, that the Bible speaks about reminds us, as does this week’s Torah Portion, Nitzavim, to CHOOSE LIFE! This moment in this month of Elul, in this year of 5786, the 20th day of 40, gives us the gift of seeing our WHOLE SELVES and, just like when we received the Torah at Sinai, just like when the entire Bible was complied and codified, We the People when we SEE our WHOLE selves, can make more informed choices as to how to CHOOSE LIFE in each and every situation, knowing we are prone to messing it up, making mistakes, and repairing them quicker, lessening the mistakes and their severity each year.

I have been doing this ‘work’ of Elul for the past 39 years and, like every other year, I find the same mistakes, the same ‘missing the marks’ rear their ugly heads and I get frustrated with myself. The biggest difference is I know it is me, not anyone else, who causes my errors, causes my betrayals, AND causes my Loyalty to God, to Principles, using my Prophetic Inheritance and Voice better each year. I still am outraged at the Desecration of God’s Name that is happening impunity!! I am still bewildered at the lack of truth that is rampant in the world today-I think maybe more than at any time and I could be wrong. I am worried for my grandson, my grand-nieces and nephews that the world I am leaving to them is so much worse than the one I inherited. I also know my siblings and I are leaving them a legacy of decency, of principles, of standing up for what is right, what is true, what is holy.
ACTION STEP:

Write a list of the principles you hold dear and how you have lived into them this year.

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 113

BEGINNING TOMORROW, Rabbi Ed Feinstein and myself will be doing a 3-week program for Melton on “Can We Change, Heschel, T’Shuvah and Beginning Again”. The link is available on the Melton Website-hope you can join us!!

Another, more subtle way of ‘missing the mark’ during the month of Elul and the 10 days of T’Shuvah is to not acknowledge the positive side of the ledger. Using the Ashamnu Prayer, the opposite of guilt is, according to AI, innocence, clear conscience. I believe the opposite of guilt is to acknowledge the good. Having the ledger sheet of what we the people are guilty of, We now take another sheet of paper and write at the top: Things I did well and then who was helped, how they were helped and how can I inhale these behaviors in the coming year.

I say this is a subtle way of ‘missing the mark’ because the emphasis is on our guilt and not always on the entirety of our actions in this past year. It is also hard for many of We the People to truly acknowledge and revel in the good we do because it seems braggadocios, conceited, etc. In reality, it is an awareness of the goodness that is in our guts and the Holiness we engage in each and every day. Guilt makes us point the finger at ourselves rather than at another and doing good makes us point the finger at ourselves in a different light-without Both, we always have a distorted picture of who we are, what we are, and live inauthentic lives.

This time of year is crucial in the quest of We the People to live more authentic lives, to live into the Individual Call from Sinai, like when the Israelites crossed the Red Sea, each had their own experience of God, when they stood at the base of Mount Sinai, each individual had their own experience of receiving the 10 Sayings, so too do each of We the People have an individual and unique experience of the Call from Sinai happening each and every day. The Call is constant and, acknowledging the good we do, engaging in the gift of T’Shuvah, allows us to hear the Call that is just for us, as individuals as well as a human race.

Looking at the good we have done is also important for us to know the path to correcting the guilt, the harms we have brought. It is an educational as well as spiritual lesson, it teaches us to stop berating ourselves for our imperfections, to realize and rejoice in the myriad of ways we rise above pettiness and pride, envy and enmity, to be giving and humble, to appreciate what we have and let go of senseless hatred. Looking at the good we have done also gives is the gift of being able to KNOW that We the People do know the next right action to take in any and all scenarios.

While we spend a lot of time in the negativity of our leadership, especially the weak-kneed, ass-kissing Republicans in the Congress and the Narcissistic Grifters in the Executive Branch, and the cock-sucking members of the Supreme Court, all of whom are seeking to end our Democracy and install an autocracy; looking at the good allows us to see the good that so many of We the People are doing-from Bishop William Barber to John Pavlovitz, from Najuma Smith to Elliot Cosgrove, from Maria Shriver to Oprah Winfrey, from Steven Spielberg to Robert DiNiro, from you to me!

Looking over the past year(s), I can focus on the negative that I have done and that has been done to me AND, while I don’t ignore it, I choose to focus on the good I have done, the lives I have touched and the generosity of spirit I have been shown for the past almost 40 years-beginning with Detective Jim Bashira who arrested me in Dec. 1986 and started me on this journey. This is a terribly important choice that We the People make each and every day. Of course the people who raised us, our parents, made mistakes, of course the teachers we had failed to see who we are and accentuate the gifts we had/have, of course our employers don’t see the importance of the work we do whether it is keeping the place clean or inventing the next great thing for them to patent. Yet, this is not what is important-what is important is that We the People know the goodness we show to another(s), know the goodness we receive from the universe, not need to have a tit-for-tat relationship, not need to keep score, not need to judge ourselves NOR another(s) on our/their worst actions. What is important is our ability to forgive another for their errors just as We the People want forgiveness for ours. I have been forgiven by God each year and by most of the people I make T’Shuvah with and the rest, I accept their unwillingness to reconnect, to resew the fabric of our relationship and am sad AND not in excessive guilt! Knowing the good I do allows me to feel empathy for those who have harmed me and for those who are unable to forgive, to reconnect.
ACTION STEP:

Write down the good you have done and who/how another was impacted.

GOD BLESS, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 112

The second word of the Ashamnu confessional can be translated as “betrayed”. In thinking about this and speaking with Harriet Rossetto, my brilliant, amazing, wonderful wife, partner, best friend, she asked “what about shame” when she read Friday’s post. In the afternoon, on the way home from Bridge, where we played very poorly, I realized shame is the greatest betrayal of self and of God. We are made in the image of God, how can we be in shame? While embarrassment is part of the Bible, Adam  and Eve hiding after eating the fruit,  Noah and Canaan, Abraham allowing Sarah to send Hagar and Ishmael away, Jacob’s worrying about how he will look to people after Levi and Simeon murder the men of Shechem, etc, no place is shame a punishment nor a producer of better behavior! Yet, society has used it forever to ‘keep people in line’ and made it an internal experience coming from not being perfect, from doing the ‘wrong thing’, from ‘missing the mark’ rather than using the guilt I wrote about on Friday to improve. There is never improvement from shame; as John Bradshaw wrote: “Guilt is for what I have done, Shame is for who I am”. Hence-there is no Shame when We the People remember we are created in the Image of God!! On Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur we will recite the Avinu Malkeynu prayer-declaring We the People to be the subjects and the children of God, acknowledging our God-Images, another opportunity to shed the shame that has trapped us, that has been weaponized against us by the bullies, by the autocrats, by our parents, etc. When we buy the shame another(s) is putting upon us, we are betraying God’s belief in us, we are betraying our self, which is the opposite of what this month, what living a life of faith, what Yom Kippur, Passover, Shavuot celebrate: freedom from shame, connection/reconnection to Authentic Self, to God.

I am thinking about the myriad of betrayals we the people commit on a daily basis-from our sales pitch which leaves a lot of stuff out to our going along with people to ‘get ours’, to not be harassed, to not be laughed at, to not be shamed by another, to our need to “accuse someone else of that which you are guilty of” as Goebbels so wonderfully taught people who are wanna be Fascists and We the People are experiencing on steroids in this moment. The betrayal of the United States Constitution and Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, the Amendments to the Constitution by Trump, et al is not unexpected, he told us as much in his campaigns, that the Supreme Court has supported his CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR, both legal and spiritual against our founding documents, the spirit of the Revolution of 1776, is what is truly unbelievably betraying and bewildering. That these ‘god fearing’ ‘good christian men and women’ can betray the words and deeds of Jesus, can go to church and preach/pray words of love while doing actions of hatred, immorality, is astounding AND a Betrayal of their Oath of Office as well as a Betrayal of their proclaimed ‘love of Jesus’ which is, in reality, a love of self, a love of the “money-changers in the Temple/White House”.

On a personal note, We the People are being called to look inside of ourselves, to look back over this past year(s) to realize the betrayals we have committed, betraying our authentic self, our moral fiber, our principles, the values of the Bible, the dignity of another human being as well as our own dignity. This is one of the hardest parts of the Ashamnu prayer-this deep dive into the betrayals we the people commit without even realizing they are betrayals! Especially the betrayal of parents to children by shaming them, by speaking to them in ways they cannot understand-going against the wisdom of Proverbs. This, which is a societal norm, has caused the greatest amount of grief, of self-doubt, of negative rebellion over the millennia as has the shaming of teachers to their students which runs a close second to that of the parents. The use of God to punish, shaming someone for not knowing, is a tremendous betrayal of our obligations to “teach our children well” which is not just a song, it is a commandment.!

I have been obsessing over the betrayals I have committed over the years and realize the biggest betrayal was allowing myself to become a caricature of me, giving into the ‘role’ I put myself into and another(s) put me in. I have done my part and, as with other amends that have not resulted in any form of reunification, I am powerless over the result and just have to do the work. This is the beauty and wonder of T’Shuvah, it cleans the soul of the one doing it without needing anyone to accept it-God does and We the People can move forward without shame and knowing we have repaired the guilt that we incurred, with an eye and plan not to do the same thing again. I miss the people who have betrayed me and not made any effort to heal the rift and pray for them, wish them well, and send blessings to them. To Heather, Harriet, Neal, Sheri, my family, to the people who still stay in touch, who have accepted my T’Shuvah, THANK YOU!

ACTION STEP
Make a list of your betrayals, make amends to self and the people harmed.

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 111

BEGINNING THIS TUESDAY, Rabbi Ed Feinstein and myself will be doing a 3-week program for Melton on “Can We Change, Heschel, T’Shuvah and Beginning Again”. The link is available on the Melton Website-hope you can join us!!

On this 15th Day of Elul, halfway into this month of preparation, this month of introspection, this month of rigorous honesty, of fearlessly searching our self for both actions and motives behind our actions, good and not good, it is important for We the People to take a moment and realize that “this is the day Adonai has made and let us rejoice in it” as the Psalmist says. While this is part of the Hallel Prayers said on Holidays, new moons, it is something to say everyday, I believe. Saying it reminds us that what we have is today, what we are able to do, especially during Elul, with this day is move forward in our inventory, move forward in the repairs we have to make, move forward in “the things that should be changed” as Reinhold Niebuhr writes in the original Serenity Prayer, move forward in our enhancing our better angels to be more present and a little louder when our not better angels are screaming in our ears.

Elul and the entire High Holiday Liturgy remind us that we the people need to take care of our stuff as soon as we realize there is stuff to take care of. None of us know the day of our death, it says in the Talmud, and from this Rabbi Eliezer concludes since a person should do T’Shuvah one day before his/her death, she/he should do T’Shuvah every day. During this month, when compassion, forgiveness, kindness, truth, love are so overwhelmingly present that they INFECT everyone (almost) We the People are being called home, called back to the soul we were created to be and to live our lives by surrendering to God’s Will, not the will of the people ‘running’ religions today, not the power-hungry, money-changers that are as prevalent, if not more so, then in the time of Christ, in the time of the Prophets!

To do this, is to immerse ourselves in the different prayers and I am going to use the Ashamnu prayer, the confessional prayer we say on Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur. “We are guilty” is a confession that most people are unwilling to make, many of us plead “No Contest” rather than admit our guilt which is, in my opinion, one of the reasons that MENDACITY is so present in our everyday way of being. It is the reason so many people upon hearing the T’Shuvah of another(s) are unable to forgive them because they cannot, will not see their own part in the interactions that led to the harms. It is the reason so many people refuse to reconnect with the ‘guilty’ party because then they would have to be responsible for their part. Hence, I believe, the Rabbis made this prayer in the plural, because if everyone is “guilty”, it doesn’t sting too much. BULLSHIT on the Rabbis not ensuring on the Holiest Day of the Year in Judaism that WE THE PEOPLE, individually as well as collectively take responsibility for that which we the people are guilty of. Were they afraid of their own guilt overwhelming them?

BTW, guilt is a GOOD thing, it is a positive experience and emotion. It proves that one is not a sociopath, a malignant narcissist, that we the people have not lost our humanity, WHEW! It is also something that is used as a weapon by another(s), it is used by we the people as a weapon against ourselves by indulging in it, by believing our worst actions define us, by accepting that we are worthless and don’t deserve to breath the same air as ____. This is the worst weaponization of guilt we can do to ourselves! It renders us defenseless against the onslaught of negative thoughts, negative rejoinders by another(s), and it makes doing T’Shuvah, being forgiven seem like a bridge too far. This was an issue for me for a long time, one of the reasons I did not even try to change, one of the reasons I was hopeless.

Learning about the power of T’Shuvah, learning it from Maimonidies, Heschel, the Talmud changed all of this. It is not enough that I ask Adonai for forgiveness on Yom Kippur, I have to ask you for forgiveness each time I screw up! The difference between when I was hopeless and did not try to change and now is that I KNOW change is the only constant, that change is possible, doable and I am not worthless, I am not a piece of shit, I am a human being and being human means I revel in my guilt because it causes change, it brings me closer to my own authenticity, it allows me to grow. Guilt has nothing to do with shame, I am not ashamed to be Mark Borovitz, I actually “rejoice in it”, as I do “in this day that Adonai has made”!

ACTION STEP

Write down your “guilts” and rejoice in repairing and changing them!

Each day, declare: “This is the Day God has made, I will rejoice in it”!

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 110

“And the sign said, “the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sound of silence.” I love the ending of this song because it encapsulates the experience of Elul through Yom Kippur for me. We the People read the words of the prophets each day, the words of the Psalmist, we are able to see them in the faces of the people we love and, if we are aware, focused and attentive, in the faces of those we do not love. This is one of the many challenges of these 40 days from Elul till Yom Kippur.

Of course, greatest challenge for We the People is to SEE! To see “the words of the prophets” that are written wherever and whenever there is poverty, injustice, enslavement, cruelty, money-grabbing, power-hungry individuals who want to take away our FREEDOM, as the Pharaoh did so long ago in Egypt, as the horrific Kings did after King David, and in both of the kingdoms that splintered after Solomon. Hence, “on the subway walls and tenement halls”. Yet, the place We the People fear most and ignore, block our ears to, is “the words of the prophets…whispered in the sound of silence”. Thinking about this phrase, I realize just now that if we the people stay busy enough with housework, homework, work itself, TV shows, movies, even books, then we the people don’t have to deal with “the words” that are “whispered in the sound of silence”.

Knowingly or unknowingly, Paul Simon used his prophetic voice in creating this song, in giving us the gift of a roadmap to how to live into this month of Elul. We the People on the other hand, for the most part, are afraid of “the sound of silence”, we keep refusing to hear “the words of the prophets”, we refuse to take in, to revel, to learn from, to change our ways that “the words of the prophets are written” compel us to do, so we the people continue to not SEE. How terribly frustrating for the “Freedom Riders” among us, how tremendously infuriating for the “People of the Book” who take these “words” to heart and act upon them with focus and attention. Yet, as long as society continues to ‘reward’ the hater, give ‘power’ to the oppressor, practice injustice and favor the rich and powerful, the autocrat and the dictator, NOTHING WILL CHANGE!

I am totally enthralled with this song, always have been and never delved into it in this depth. I keep wondering how we the people, including myself of course, have kept “the words of the prophets” from our hearts, from our souls and kept them at bay while reading them each week, each month, each year. It is, without question, one of the great conundrums for me. To listen to them beg we the people to return to God, to do T’Shuvah, to care for the poor and the needy, to love the stranger because we were strangers in the land of Egypt and, before the Pharaoh who did not know Joseph arose, treated we the people very well! To read of their undying love for both human beings and God, in the same moment, to remind God of the Covenant and to scream at We the People to honor the Covenant is both spiritually uplifting and breaks one’s heart.

This last phrase, “whispered in the sound of silence” reminds we the people to STOP being afraid of “the sound of silence” and, instead, listen for it, hear what “the words of the prophets” so We the People, both individually and collectively, can move forward towards our destiny-to live the life each and every one of us is created to live. Listening to “the sound of silence” allows We the People hear the call of our soul, to hear the cry of the needy, to hear the love from the stranger who believes being here is being saved, to listen to the wisdom of the universe, and to understand “the words of the prophets” in today’s world, to meet the challenges of today armed with their strength and wisdom, with the confidence that We the People have joined God’s army, are fighting for what is RIGHT, JUST, MERCIFUL, LOVING, KIND, and HOLY!

I was afraid of “the sound of silence” for a long time because it kept telling me that I was better than my worst actions, that I did not need to keep the lies I was telling myself going, that I needed to return. “The words of the prophets….whispered in the sound of silence” scared the hell out of me. In these past almost 40 years, what scared me the most, brings me the most joy. What I ran from-my true self-is what I run towards. What I purposely misunderstood, I now am maladjusted to. I continue to read and re-read “the words of the prophets” so I can grow in knowing my soul, knowing what God wants from me. I continue to listen to “the sound of silence” because it is now a comfort place for me, to learn from my errors and to rejoice in the ‘wins’ I get to do for another, for God. This is the joy of “the words of the prophets written…whispered in the sound of silence”!

ACTION STEP:

Set aside time each day to read “the words of the prophets” and to hear, listen understand what is being said in “the sound of silence”

God Bless, STOP Ghosting God, STOP Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 109

“And the sign said, “the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sound of silence.” This is the last phrase of the song, Sound of Silence and I have only 2 more blogs left on this song for this month of Elul this year. I want to begin with the first phrase: “the words of the prophets are written”. These words have been written for over 2500 years, these words have been read, spoken, chanted, spoken about by religious leaders, paraphrased by Jesus. Jeremiah tells us, the modern day descendants of the prophets, to: “Have no fear of them for I am with you to deliver you, declares Adonai”. Yet, We the People seem to have ignored this command, we the people seem blind to “the words of the prophets are written”, deaf to: “declares Adonai”, and unwilling to take the action these words have called us to for the past 2500+ years.

This is the theme for me today, what is that stops we the people from reading what is “written” in the name of the prophets? What is that prevents we the people from taking in what our ears hear each week in Synagogue, in Church? What is it that gives us permission to ignore “the words of the prophets”? This is the conundrum that has faced humanity from the time of the prophets, since the destruction of the Northern Kingdom and the Israelites from there scattered across the Assyrian holdings, since the destruction of the 1st Temple and the exile to Babylon, since the destruction of the 2nd Temple (we Jews were not smart enough to heed them even after the experience of exile and destruction!), even since the 1878 year exile from the land of Israel! It is the conundrum that Christians and Catholics face as well, when they proclaim that Jesus is their savior AND live antithetically to his teachings of love, of caring for the stranger, the poor, the needy, of justice for all, of freedom for all, of throwing the money-changers out of the Temple while the loudest of today’s so-called christian clergy, like Joel Osteen, Franklin Graham, et al are all about the Benjamins, spending money of homes, cars, private Jets, etc, and preaching a prosperity gospel that Christ never did!

This is the time to GET RIGHT, people. We the People are called in this month of Elul, in this period leading to Yom Kippur to open up our eyes, to lift up our eyes, to SEE what truly is, not some ridiculous societal norm that has been put in place precisely to ignore the “words of the prophets”! The gift of this moment, of this month, of this period of time is the Divine Compassion, the Divine Pathos that fills the air, that is in the water we drink, the food we eat, because everything is being called to Judgement Day and everything is afforded the Divine Compassion and Pathos, the Divine Mercy and Forgiveness that the Rabbis have spoken about and written about. This is NOT, however, granted without work on the part of We the People, this is not given because we want it. The Grace we receive in this moment, this time of the year is based on our willingness to READ “the words of the prophets written on the Subway walls” and ingest them, allow them to nourish our spirits, our souls, our inner life, using them to make our rational mind the servant it is intended to be rather than the Pharaoh it has become for some so they can put into servitude the rest of us.

The prophets kept trying to tell the people WAKE UP! Their words and actions are trying to do the same for we the people and we are no more willing to hear, to listen, to understand, and to take action of their words than our ancestors were and we  call ourselves smart! That we the people continue to refuse to heed “the words of the prophets”, that we the people continue to follow the false prophets/autocrats who say what we want to hear and then do the opposite once they are in power, is UNBELIEVABLE, yet true:(!

It took me 36 years to truly imbue “the words of the prophets written” in the Bible, on the walls of a prison cell, in the innermost chamber of my heart. In these past 38+ years of imbibing in their words, in hearing their call, in following their direction, my life keeps being immeasurably better. I keep seeing the world through their eyes, aka the “eyes of God” more and more each year, I keep realizing the errors of my past in new light and see the goodness I have sown and the reciprocity of generosity I receive and the awe, wonder, radical amazement of people I have counseled, helped in their recovery, provide services to so many people in need, give their wisdom and knowledge, their “Torah” to another(s) so more people can bask in “the words of the prophets written”. What a joy and honor, a privilege and a responsibility to be a descendant of the prophets and spread their message! How Blessed are We the People to do this!!

ACTION STEP
Read “the words of the prophets written” in the Bible and make a plan to carry out their call to action

Call down the forces of compassion and grace by doing a little more of your inventory today

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 108

“And the sign flashed out its warning” part of verse 5 of Sound of Silence is so maddening to me, as I sit here 62 years later remembering the teen-ager I was at the time, remembering the social justice advocate I was and my family was. I am pissed off at myself for losing sight of “the sign flashed out its warning” throughout my ‘lost years’, throughout my addiction to alcohol and criminality. This song represented hope, power to the people, and an resurgence of prophecy that filled me up and then I got deflated by Vietnam, by the lies of people, by the race to have the most toys, etc.

Here we are, in 2026, “and the sign flashed out its warning” again/still and we the people seem to be too blind to see it, too deaf to hear it, too egotistical, too enthralled with power, prestige, wealth and/or the search for same to heed it!

What is it about humanity that we the people are more apt to go along with societal norms that we know are wrong, go along with the mental cliches that hinder our search for knowledge? Is it really so simple as “don’t rock the boat”? I am one of those who did go along with the mental cliches and my response was being a criminal, not the best life path for a person. Yet, today, if one is a ‘big enough’ criminal, it is a great life path-ask Musk, Trump, Kushner, Lutnick, Bessent, et al. While they all claim to ‘love God’ the ‘God’ they love are two aspects of idolatry, of false gods: worshiping power and money! And what is even more egregious and infuriating, to me at least, is the safeguards of the Congress and the Supreme Court are silent, are acquiescing, are folding like cheap tents! Then, to top it off, enough of we the people still ‘believe in Trumpism’ while their savings are dwindling, the prices they pay for groceries, for gas, etc are going up and they do not have enough money in the market for its rise to really help them!

“The sign flashed out its warning” is happening every single day, it comes from the Voice on Sinai, it comes from the prophets of our time, it comes from the prophets of the Bible, it comes from the text of the Bible. We the People are being bombarded with “the flashing” and we keep ignoring it, we keep doing the exact opposite of the Call of “the sign flashed out its warning”, like Jonah. Yet, like the people who try and get over the tracks as the arm is coming down, the flashing lights are going off and they still think they can beat the train because whatever they are doing is so much more important than “the sign” that is flashing, we the people are continuing to speed by “the sign” because the societal norms we are trying to adhere to, the search for money, property, fame, prestige, etc are more important than hearing and understanding what is True and Real, we the people find ourselves in a situation where our Freedom is at stake.

I can hear Vought, Kushner, Lutnick, Miller saying to Trump: “let us deal wisely with them because they are stronger and more numerous than we”, just like the Pharaoh in Egypt. These people know their scriptures and are unabashedly not afraid to twist the meaning, twist the words, twist the text to fit their needs and too many of we the people are stupid enough, naive enough, spiritually immature enough, to GO ALONG with their bullshit! This is the spiritual bankruptcy that the month of Elul comes to repair.

“The sign flashed its warning” is what this month is all about. The flashing light you see is the call to regain our moral footing, to return to the state of being that is awareness of our place in the world, a return to the connection we have with Adonai, Jesus, Mohammed, higher consciousness, however one describes the Power Greater than Ourselves in the Universe. This “sign” has “flashed its warning” forever and we the people have ignored it from Adam and Eve through today. We the People seem to enjoy rolling around in a quicksand of our own making while the cure for what ails us is at our fingertips: RETURN!

I am infuriated, irate, bewildered by the state of affairs because I know the freedom of using this month of Elul to “get right with oneself” to RETURN to my essence, my spiritual core, to my community in new and better ways, to return to my place in the world with renewed energy and clarity, to take the reins of what I have power over and let go of the things I am powerless over. The inventory, the T’Shuvah, the asking for and granting of forgiveness that this month of Elul brings to me is exhilarating, uplifting, and  each year I live into being one grain of sand better and at a higher spiritual level again by one grain of sand. It is a simple action of being real, of seeing the truth of one’s soul and living into it a little more this coming year.

ACTION STEP:

How are you ignoring  “the sign flashed out its warning”?

What do you gain from this ignorance?

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 107

I have been thinking about and living into the “Sound of Silence” song, thinking about when it was written, the poetry of it, the power of it and, in this last verse, the foresight of Paul Simon in realizing the “neon god” that “the people bowed and prayed to”. While I wrote about this on Friday, I am still thinking about it today. Given the news, the lies, the grift, the destruction of our democracy in favor of a ‘more powerful executive’ branch that no longer needs Congress’ approval to spend, to make or break treaties, to decide whom our allies will be, etc, the “neon god” of Trump is getting larger and larger in some circles, and I am at a loss as to the reason for this.

We the People are well aware of the consequences of being one who “bowed and prayed to the neon god they made”, it is resplendent throughout history, the United States of America came into being because King George thought the Colonies should bow down and pray to him! Now, 250 years later, the Republicans, the ‘christian’ Nationalists, the White Supremacists, the Orthodox Jews, the seekers of money, power, and prestige, all have come together and are hellbent on taking away the Freedoms found in the Bill of Rights, the separation of powers found in the Constitution, the safeguards against a ‘king’ ruling our country found in the Constitution, the Rule of Law found in our Constitution, and, of course, the basic moral, ethical spiritual commandments of God found in the Bible, in the New Testament.

Psalm 121, verses 1&2 call out to me at this moment: “I lift up my eyes to the mountains, from where will my help come” My help comes from Adonai, maker of heaven and earth”. I am calling out my colleagues in the Clergy to make this Psalm COME ALIVE in your hearts, in your minds, in your souls and spread THIS message to your disparate flocks, not the message of MAGA, not the message of BIBI, not the message of JEW/ISRAEL HATRED, not the message of ISLAMAPHOBIA, not the message of HATE THE STRANGER, not the message of TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ANYONE YOU CAN, ESPECIALLY THE POOR, etc.

Yes I am pissed! I cannot “stand idly by the blood of my neighbors” because God is calling me and you, all of God’s People to care for one another, to lift up the poor and the needy, to love and welcome the stranger, to see the Image of God in each and every one we meet. We the People, in this month of Elul, are called to remember that just as the writer of Song of Songs tells us “I am my beloved and my beloved is mine”. We the People are God’s beloved and, We the People are being called by Paul Simon, by the prophets, by the Psalmist, by the authors of the Bible, by the words of Christ to RETURN TO MAKING GOD OUR BELOVED! We can only do this when we REJECT “the neon god they made” and REJECT bowing down to and praying to the ORANGE IDOL in the White House, to the Puppet Masters behind the Orange Idol, to the fascists on both the right and the left!

It is so simple to return to our basic goodness of being, to return to bowing and praying to Adonai, to God, to return to the authentic self we are born to be. NOT EASY, just simple. It takes engaging in this month of Elul with great excitement, great seriousness, great anticipation, great trembling awe, and a great commitment to RETURN AGAIN TO THE LAND OF YOUR SOUL, as Reb Shlomo Carlebach teaches us in his song “Return Again”. We the People are given this gift of taking 40 days, the same number that it took to get the slave out of the People who left Egypt in the desert, to review, repent, rejoice, make our amends and our changes so we can reconnect, renew, resign our Covenant with God. This gift of Elul, of the 10 days of T’Shuvah, is also a mirror into our beingness, into our core, and it allows us to change from the selfish, unwilling, unwitting, witting ways we have fallen away from our authentic self, from God’s call, from our neighbors and from our Beloved.

Having engaged in this process for 39 years earnestly and in-depth, I can testify to the both the simplicity of the process and the difficulty of it. Looking back over my past each year, because I review the ways I have acted in the past to see if they need repairing based on new insights, is painful and exhilarating, embarrassing and exalting, enlightening because I keep taking new skins of the blinders I have worn and “Lift up my eyes and SEE” the beauty of living well, the horror of my errors upon another and my soul, the joy of repentance and learning new paths to living well, and the love of reconnection to people, to God because of making a T’Shuvah and accepting a T’Shuvah. What a journey this life is/can be.

ACTION STEP

Look at the Subtle ways you are still worshiping “the neon god you made”

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

This Blog, today, is dedicated to the life of ANNETTE SHAPIRO, Z"L

To ANNETTE, A WOMAN OF VALOR

Today’s Blog is dedicated to Annette Shapiro, z”l, who passed away this past Friday. Annette was, and to me, still is, a force to be reckoned with. She was the Grande Dame of Jewish LA and beyond. Her 78 year marriage to Leonard Shapiro is a marvel of love, of joy, of bearing unbearable sadness, and moving forward all the time.

While her accomplishments are too many for me to recount here, what I want to talk about is her soul, her energy that helped her family and so many of us, her ‘projects’, live lives so far beyond our dreams it still seems surreal. The love for her children, her extended family-about 150 strong- and the rest of us is too large to describe and through the pain of loss of parents, of relatives, of her son, David Shapiro, z”l, Annette kept on being a “professional volunteer”, a patron of the arts, a patron of the people. While Annette had her ‘professional self’ which she shared with everyone, which she taught to my wife, Harriet Rossetto, she had a personal self that exuded the same love for ‘her people’ that her ‘professional self’ exuded for everyone. When it comes to love, Annette was totally congruent.

I met Annette when she became President of the Jewish Community Foundation of Los Angeles, the first woman to hold this position in the LA Jewish Community. She visited all the agencies that the Foundation awarded grants to and she came to Beit T’Shuvah down on Lake Street. What an experience, Annette was like blown away with the stories, with the recovery, and thought the building was a wreck, the neighborhood dangerous, all of which was true, and decided to have a resident whose parents were Holocaust survivors and she was a junkie come speak after hearing of ‘Lila’s’(not real name) experience of joy at her first Shabbat at BTS. That started a 30+year relationship that, for me, still goes on.

Annette was excited to learn my story, in fact Annette was a storyteller herself, she was a curious mind person-always interested in knowing another person’s thoughts, ideas and, when she felt necessary, “I have a suggestion” help for those she was talking to. Annette’s laugh was infectious, it was loud, it was joyful, it was heartfelt. Being a bit of a bull in the china shop, Annette always had a “suggestion” for how I could tone it down a little/actually a lot and we would laugh at my feeble attempts and agree that being me was more important than being political. Annette’s suggestions were like commandments for so many of us because they were delivered with the same love I find God has in the Torah/Bible and Annette was never judgmental in the years I was blessed to be in her orbit.

Annette wanted to see Beit T’Shuvah flourish and, when her Granddaughter needed our help, she called Harriet and we showed up. The first Shabbat Annette and Leonard attended was a trip. They hadn’t seen their granddaughter in a while, they were hurt and angry, Harriet did a session before Shabbat and then they experienced Shabbat under the Tent, with raucous singing, loud preaching(me) and gun shots noises filling the air. To say Annette was nervous, enthralled, bewildered, and excited is an understatement. Then, in a meeting where ‘normal people’, the Jewish Professional world was at, Annette announced that Addiction was a major disease in Jewish LA and, while her family member was not a drug addict, she had an addiction and it was Beit T’Shuvah that was helping her and the family. That did it, the rich and famous of Jewish LA began to trickle to our doors to get help in a Jewish framework for their kids, their spouses, their adult children. Annette and Warren Breslow began our Capital Campaign in 1998 and by 1999, they/we had raised $5million to renovate and inhabit a new facility in West LA where Beit T’Shuvah still is.

What Annette was to me is too hard to describe. She was a mentor, a wise elder, a friend, a confidant, a woman of valor. Annette taught me it was okay to be me, she had my back and when I was too far off the reservation, she would meet me, usually at Factors, and make her “suggestions” as to how I could fix it, change, etc. Annette and Leonard were regulars at Shabbat Services and Leonard would laugh and give Annette an elbow if he thought my sermon applied to her and they would laugh together. They were the example I have followed in my relationship with Harriet all these years. Annette was prim and proper and, when I told her she was “a stand-up broad”, Annette laughed, Leonard laughed and she hugged me saying it was the nicest compliment I could give her. Annette taught me/us to give more when adversity strikes, to do the next right thing a little more.

Annette Shapiro was my friend, while there was physical distance between us, while my action in Feb.2020 made it hard for their to be much conversation, spiritually we have always been connected and, speaking to her last week, telling her my/our love for her and the connection in our eyes validated this. Annette, forever grateful, forever loving, Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 106

“And the people bowed and prayed to the neon god they made” is pretty remarkable given the times we were in when this was written, given that Vietnam had not yet exploded, it was in the aftermath of JKF’s assassination, and LBJ was working on the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act and the Great Society. What keeps striking me over and over agin is Paul Simon’s ability to SEE what the rest of us couldn’t, to try and speak to us even though we the people were not hearing so well, to not be deterred by any of this, much like the prophets of old. AND WE THE PEOPLE still are not listening, still not touching the “sound of silence”, still bowing and praying to “the neon god they/we made”. WTF, PEOPLE!

Today is the 8th day of Elul, it is one week since we began this dive into our SELF, this exercise to STOP GHOSTING OUR SELF, to live into “the soul we are created to be” rather than follow the bullshit script we have made up for our self or the one that has been foisted upon us by another(s), by life. This is the choice and the opportunity that this month, really any day/week/month, gives us with the full force of forgiveness, compassion, mercy overwhelming every other spiritual force, even and especially “strict justice”. When we the people seek to be forgiven by making a “searching and fearless inventory”, as we say in AA, make the amends we can and must, then forgiveness is granted either by the person we have harmed and/or God. We the People are commanded to not hold resentments, to forgive easily, to welcome people back in our lives as we want to be welcomed back into the lives of the people we have harmed, as we want to be welcomed back into the Covenant with God after we have harmed, defamed, ignored, disobeyed God’s Will!

This 8th day of Elul is our “circumcision day”, it is the day when we have to “circumcise the foreskin of our hearts” as Moses commands us to do in Deuteronomy, just like we welcome the baby boy into the covenant on the 8th day-so too do we welcome ourselves back into the covenant as we engage in the work of Elul. On this 8th day, We the People admit our guilt for bowing and praying to “the neon god we/they made”, just as the Israelites in the desert built the Golden Calf. The difference, however, is the people in the desert were newly freed slaves and their leader had been gone for 12 hours longer than they thought he was supposed to be gone and were bereft that he would not return; We, however, “bowed and prayed to the neon god we/they made” not out of fear, rather out of blind obedience to ‘societal norms’, overpowering rationalizations to satisfy our greed, our lust for power over another(s), over women, over business, over other nations, etc. The unraveling of democratic norms in the USA, in Israel, the unraveling of basic ethical and moral tenets is the result of “the people bowed and prayed to the neon god they made” and We the People are the only ones who can right the ship, can change course and the path to doing this is to use this 8th day of Elul and “circumcise our hearts” to serve God, to serve one another, to serve our authentic self.

The time this song was written was a difficult time for me, I knew my father was sick, his business was starting to fail, he was stressed and having another heart attack, and I knew the world was full of shit. I was having my Bar Mitzvah in 1964, so while Paul Simon was prophecizing, I was learning the Torah Portion for my Bar Mitzvah-appropriated named Lech L’Cha- go to yourself/for yourself…and be a blessing. I was speaking up and out and not being listened to except by my father who agreed with me and told me it was an uphill battle that society did not want us to win, the battle for ethical and moral behaviors, decency, being judged for the content of one’s character not the money in the bank, not the color of one’s skin, not the religion one practiced. AND, he was desperate that his son’s knew how to pray to God, to say Kaddish for his soul after he died. While I went and “bowed and prayed to the neon god they made”, the societal one of money, I knew it was wrong and have spent the last 40 years circumcising my heart over and over again because the foreskin is stubborn and wants to grow back. Today, on the 8th day of Elul this year, I am circumcised again, the ‘neon god’ of money, of needing to be seen, needing to be heard, is pretty much gone, I know I have enough and I am enough! I know that my prophetic voice will never reach the millions that Paul Simon’s has and that doesn’t make mine any less important, any more relevant than his, it just means that, following his example and the example of so many people I, Mark Borovitz refuse to bow down and pray to the neon god of societal norms and mental cliches anymore!

ACTION STEP:

Make a list of the “neon gods” you still bow down to

Make a concerted effort to “circumcise the foreskin of your heart” today

What fears keep you from being the authentic you

How are your false needs, your facades allowing you to be less than moral

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark