Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 146

“This is the day Adonai has made, I will rejoice in it” opens up my heart, my mind, my everything to loving God, to loving my self enough to improve, to change, to grow, to live justly, kindly, lovingly, compassionately, truthfully with everyone I meet and encounter in a day. It is hard to do this all the time because of an innate fear of rejection, FOMO(fear of missing out), and not being ‘in the club’. As an outsider all my life, as someone who was always on the other side of the window, always looking in with longing, I have come to realize not only that ‘they’, aka those on the inside, didn’t want me, I really don’t want to be with them anyway. This is, I believe, a similar phenomenon that is happening with people who voted for the changes promised by Trump and have gotten ‘coal’ in return. I walk down the street saying hello to everyone and maybe 50% of the people return the greeting in some way, it is even less in my golf cart! I don’t take these as rejections AND, the rejection by ‘a member of the club’ is devastating, or at least was pretty hard to take for many years.

When does this devastating rejection change? It changes when We the People “rejoice in it”. This verse from Psalms doesn’t promise a rose garden, in fact it only speaks of our spiritual growing, our salvation which could be about the saving of our souls, the saving of our morality, of our humanity. “I will rejoice in it” is teaching us, demanding of we the people to live in this moment, to realize whatever is happening, We the People can find a solution to any problem and an enhancement to every success. Given the state of affairs in the United States and in Israel today, in this moment, holding on to this truth, We the People together can find a solution to the rampant thievery happening by our elected officials, by the President, his Cabinet, the treason being perpetrated upon WE THE PEOPLE by Trump and his Cabinet, his children, Jared Kushner, Steve Wytkoff, et al is the only path to wholeness or at least not losing hope, not losing our minds.

The billionaires that support, help and promote these treasonous behaviors because they just want more, more, more are a big part of the problem. Yet, there are many young people who look up to them and want to be ‘just like them’. These assholes have taken over the colleges curriculum, they are trying to “take over the world” with their AI creations, they are trying to prove, as Harriet has said to me, they can make a better creation than God!

THIS IS THE PROBLEM: The billionaires, the power-brokers truly believe they are bigger, better, more capable than God and they are out to prove this to the world. And there seems to be no one to stop them because the Netanyahu’s, the Trumps’, the Putins, the Xi’s only want theirs, “let them wet their beaks” as the Mafia used to call it, and anyone can do anything. OY VEY, this is how these assholes have changed the verse: “This is the day I have made and I will rejoice in it” and don’t YOU THE PEOPLE try and stop me cause I have an army of people both in the military and outside of the military, both in ICE and the Proud Boys, the Oath Keepers who will kill you if you try. Look at how many people who were whistleblowers regarding Epstein and his friends who deny everything in the face of proof like Howard Lutnick, HWL, have DIED, all of them either by suicide or natural? GIVE ME A BREAK, Harriet says!

THE SOLUTION: We the People have to once again make this verse and the ones preceding it and following it alive and well in our daily living. It is crucial for We the People to begin to “walk through the gates of righteousness” that God has opened for us. It is imperative that We the People “lift up our eyes and see” the “stone which the builders rejected” is our foundational principle, building block. This is the path I have followed for the past 39+ years, since I heard the Voice call out to me, asking me if I was ready and willing to learn what I needed to this time in prison because I had not even sought any solutions the last time. It took me a while to let go of wanting to be “on the inside”, part of “the in crowd” and, when people told me I was the one being sought, I laughed at how fickle life is. I also know that I tried to include everyone, and I know I did not. I know that things were happening behind my back and I reacted poorly to this at times. I am deeply remorseful for these moments. I also know that the  exile that Beit T’Shuvah has imposed upon me has less to no impact anymore because I just don’t want to be where I am not wanted and until the Call of God to go back there comes, I am content because I “rejoice in it” no matter what “it” is. DO YOU?

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 145

“This is the day Adonai has made, I will rejoice in it” seems to be a ridiculous mantra in times like these, just as in all times when the darker forces of human nature are in power and flexing their might and their cruelty. Yet, it is precisely for these moments this mantra is so important. Harriet is reading a book about Anthony Ray Hinton, a black man who was on Death Row in Alabama for 30 years, innocent of course, and the darkness of racial prejudice is so overwhelming as she is recounting to me. The man’s mother told him God would free him and she kept the faith all of her life, the prosecutor told him he would be found guilty because he was black and the prosecutor, the judge and the jury were all white, guilt or innocence did not matter! Bryan Stevenson spent 10 years working on getting him exonerated and went all the way to the Supreme Court to make it happen and he did! The prosecutor was so blinded by his racism that when he was contacted by the wrongly accused man for information for his appeal, he said: “if you get out, I will meet you at the gate with a .38”. How else could Anthony Ray Hinton, a poor black man, keep his hopes alive, keep his will strong enough to endure the horrors of death row in an Alabama prison except by using this mantra, his faith, his mother’s faith and the faith of Bryan Stevenson?

“This is the day Adonai has made and I will rejoice in it” forces We the People who seriously immerse ourselves in this truth to see the everyday miracle, the “everyday holiness” that surrounds us. It is the pathway to re-experience Jacob’s ladder dream: see the angels going up and coming down, realizing the angels I need are right here next to me, in front of me, behind me, alongside of me. The issue is not “where is God?” The issue is when will we the people take the blinders off of our eyes, when will we the people take the cotton out of our ears? The more I engage with this verse, the more I realize how all encompassing it is, how it sets the tone of life when We the People live into it and this is is the most miraculous thing of all, to me.

I have been a student of history, of math, of politics since I can remember. My father, z”l, use to teach us math at the dinner table- he was truly a math genius who should have used the GI Bill to go to college- he would quiz us on multiplying 3 numbers by 3 numbers, he would discuss the day’s current events, he would howl at the injustices he saw all around, he would laugh at the idiocy of some people and he taught us to see every individual as just that, an individual. Way before Martin Luther King issued his prayer for people being judged on the content of their character rather than the color of their skin, my father taught his sons this way of being. The fact that we the people have fallen back into the darkest of Jim Crow days in such subtle ways is infuriating, it is a Desecration of God’s Name, it is a Complete Refutation of Jesus’ words and Ways, it is the anathema of what it means to honor this day, to honor God, to rejoice in and with God’s Will.

The people who put Anthony Ray Hinton away for 30 years, who are architects of a system that knows 20% of their death row inmates are innocent and they will lock them up, kill them anyway-as Antonio Scalia said at a conference I attended: “they had due process, innocence has nothing to do with the law”! These ‘fine christian, jewish, muslim men’ who engage in this type of thinking and being are the exact idolators, false prophets, We the People are warned about over and over. Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel was asked why he kept going to the myriad of marches he did and his response was; how can I not go? Rev King was called a rabble rouser, a riot starter, all of the bullshit because the powers that be- ‘those fine white christian, jewish, and muslim men’, could not nor would not face the truth of their actions, face their spitting in the ‘face’ of God, rejoicing in their cruelty, not “the day God has made”.

This is the challenge that I faced in a jail cell in December of 1986, do I want to keep living in the cruelty that my actions caused to the people around me, to people I did not know or am I willing to live in “the day Adonai has made”? I have responded YES to the latter ever since and, in my own unique, imperfect ways I have continued to climb Jacob’s ladder to be an angel for another and rejoiced in and with all of the people who have been and are my angels. “I will rejoice in it” gives me the strength and the courage to BE ME, and grow in all areas of living and loving.

ACTION STEP: How are you rejoicing in Adonai’s day rather than the one you make for to satisfy your selfishness, your desires?

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 144

“This is the day Adonai has made, I will rejoice in it”. Today is October 7, 2026; three years since the brutal, awful, horrific massacre, rape, baby killing by Hamas on this day in 2023. It seems absolutely impossible to “rejoice in it” on this day and, yet, We the People are reminded to rise above the fury, the anger, the resentment, the grief, the betrayal by both Hamas and the Israeli Government, which may or may not have known/had advance warning re: this attack, and find a path to “rejoice in it”! Saying Yizkor, saying Kaddish, remembering the souls who perished in this massacre, the souls who were kidnapped and later killed, the souls who were kidnapped and then later returned I believe, will lead to “rejoice in” this day.

As Jews we have much to be grateful for, Israel is still a country, albeit one who has stunk up the beauty and brilliance of the Biblical dictates, the calls of the Prophets, the words of God through Moses to love your neighbor, to love the stranger, to not elect/appoint a tyrant as king/elected leader, etc. We the Jewish People still enjoy freedom and choice here in the United States, with all of the anti-semitic rhetoric and actions. I am not in la-la land, I know the anti-semitism of the 50’s and 60’s, I know the anti-semitism my father and uncles faced while in the military during World War II, I know the anti-semitism my father faced in getting a job because he would not change his last name to one that “didn’t sound so Jewish”. Yet, with all of this happening, with some pretty scary Democrats and Republicans seeking elected offices, We the Jewish People have never had it better vis a vis, opportunities.  Unlike Nazi Germany, there are no signs, yet, NO JEWS ALLOWED. While many believe it could happen, it hasn’t yet and by tracking problems, by worrying about what is not in the moment, We the Jewish People turn our back on our resilience, our history, our Bible, on the Call of God from Sinai that is happening in this moment.

I am sickened over 10/7, it is like 9/11 for America, so as Jews in the U.S., we have suffered two devastating catastrophes in less than 25 years, it is totally discombobulating AND, because of our history, because of our heritage, because of the lessons and teaching of our ancestors, the teachings of the Bible, the teachings of the prophets, We the Jewish People can and must have a different response than just vengeance, than just anger, than just hatred of the stranger, hatred of our enemies. The Bible tells us We the People have to feed our enemies, provide them with drink, we are commanded to help our enemy when his/her animal falls under its burden, when it is lost we have to return it to our enemy, we are told in Proverbs(aka the wisdom of Solomon) to NOT GLOAT when an enemy stumbles or is in trouble. As Joe Biden warned the Israeli government and people, seeking vengeance will not help relieve the suffering, I believe vengeance prolongs the suffering and does not help anyone deal with the grief. As so many people who are survivors of people who have been murdered have expressed, guilty verdicts don’t bring back their loved one, executions don’t fill the hole left by the horrific loss of life. Isn’t it time for We the Jewish People to learn from our tradition, and find ways to let the vengeance seeking go?

This is not to say We the Jewish People don’t have to defend ourselves; of course we do! Jewish lives are just as important as Christian lives, Muslim lives, there is not hierarchy on the worth and dignity of a human soul as All of We the People are created in the Image of God, created equal in the ‘eyes’ of God. We are all endowed with “certain unalienable rights” and no one has the right to restrict our right to freedom, to life, to liberty, to the pursuit of happiness. This is the promise of the Exodus from Egypt and We the Jewish People must honor this promise given to us by God, even when another people doesn’t honor it for us!

This is a hard truth that has not come without much angst for me. I have to honor my enemy especially when they are degrading me, I can’t stoop to their level or I become like them and everything they say about me becomes a reality. I am so sad about the tremendous loss of life that Hamas perpetrated on the friendliest of communities for the people of Gaza, I am so sad about the tremendous loss of life Israel imposed on the people of Gaza because Hamas would use them as human shields, I am so sad for the captivity and death of the hostages and I am outraged the world, including the Israeli Government did not do more to make a deal for the hostages and, instead allowed their egos to believe the IDF would find them. Find something to rejoice in today, to honor the dead by living!
        God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 143

“This is the day Adonai has made, I will rejoice in it”. This verse from Psalms which I have adopted as the opening line of my blog is a continual challenge for me and for all of We the People. I was watching MS Now last night and listened to Abdul El-Sayed speak so eloquently about the issues facing all of us today; health care, economy, dark money in politics, the ones with the gold who believe they should rule, prejudice because he is muslim, etc and he spoke well. My problem is that he also speaks derogatory about Jews, about Israel, and doesn’t see any responsibility on the part of Hamas, the Palestinians who support Hamas, Qatar and the Arab States that have supported and given safe haven to the leaders of Hamas, nor does he see his prejudice as anything bad! WTF? And, I don’t want the Republican candidate in Michigan to win either-talk about a conundrum-when does one go against one’s self-interest to enhance the interests of the greater good? As a Jew, this is not a theoretical question, it is a very real one. Are the Socialist Democrats any different than any other group seeking power by defaming one group over another? Are they any different than the current leadership in Israel who are doing the same thing to the Palestinians under their control? What will it take for all of WE THE PEOPLE to end our “accuse others of that which you are guilty of”? What will it take for We the People to stop needing a bad guy to feel good? What will it take for we the people to stop treating one another as objects, as commodities to use and abuse for our betterment?

“This is the day Adonai has made, I will rejoice in it” demands we the people ask ourselves these questions. It demands we acknowledge the truth that Bret Stephens articulates in his op-ed in today’s NY Times: Israel is suffering from an internal division between “the spirit of entitlement and the spirit of service”. He calls out Netanyahu and the Ultra-right wing Orthodox who want welfare for their people, no military service and believe they have a “divine right” to the West Bank and Gaza, ergo they should suffer no consequences for their illegal actions of terrorizing and destroying their neighbors in the West Bank. They are led by the supreme Entitled One-Benjamin Netanyahu! Opposing them are the people who continue to serve as reservists, continue to fight for what is right, continue to oppose the immoral policies of the entitled ones, who have lost loved ones in this war, who have been the backbone of Israeli society since it’s coming into existence. Mr. Stephens also talks of the immense anti-semitism hiding under the guise of anti-zionism that permeates the world. Even the defenders of Israel here, like Donald Trump, have within them a great deal of Jew-Hatred, it is just more convenient politically to ‘support’ the Entitled Ones, not the State of Israel. Like in America, too many of we the people have confused a temporary government with the Country they are dis-serving and this leads to all sorts of imaginary crimes that convince people like El-Sayed, AOC, et al that only the Palestinians are good, especially the ones who support Hamas, who believe Oct. 7th was a ‘freedom fighters revolt’. BULLSHIT!

To “rejoice in it, We the People have to face the mirror and stop lying to “the man in the glass” as the poem says. We the People have to earnestly deal with the contradictions within every human being, the side which wants dominion and control and the side which needs communion and community. While they seem like opposites, they are not. When We the People seriously immerse ourselves in “rejoice in it”, the realization that the dominion and control, while the Bible says over all the earth has NOTHING to do with human beings, no where is control and dominion over another human being promoted in the Bible.

In looking inward, I know I have to be responsible for my actions, I have to take the time, the energy, go through the angst of realization of my errors, of my entitlements, and bring these two sides of me together. I have been working on this project all my life and in the past 39+ years I have been making pretty good progress. I do not need to control you, I can’t even control my thoughts, my desires, I can control my actions, my response to thoughts, desires, to the conflicting emotions, conflicting pulls within me. I do this by rejoicing in what is, not what I want nor what I need what is to be. This freedom to be in the moment brings me to accept what is and not be bound by societal norms, to accept what is and work hard to change what is so I and We are more inline with the Divine. This is the ACTION STEP/challenge I put to you as well! Rejoice in bringing your  two sides together and changing what is to be inline with God’s will.

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 142

“This is the day Adonai has made, I will rejoice in it”! The more I write this verse, the more I realize how difficult it is to live it. I am grateful for this day, as I say in the Modeh Ani prayer, I am grateful for the life I have, which is beyond my deserving from my earlier years, I am grateful for the love in my life, I am grateful for so much. AND, seeing what isn’t and knowing it should be, knowing the “evil that lurks in the hearts of men” as the lead-in for the TV show, The Shadow, reminds us, watching in disbelief the crimes that AI is committing, listening to the President of the United States bloviate, lie, steal, threaten, and make America a slave nation again, listening to the lies of Netanyahu and fellow Jews who cannot see/admit any wrongdoings on the part of Israel and its government, knowing the tremendous toll on the psyches of military personnel across the globe, cozying up to Putin and Xi by all sorts of nations makes it very difficult to remember “this is the day Adonai has made” for many of We the People.

Which, of course, is the exact reason the Psalmist wrote these words, expressed this desire of humanity and of God for We the People to rise above the muck and the mire, to not allow our souls to become enslaved to the outer Pharaohs, to end our wringing of our hands and find some action to engage it. An action that defies these assholes, that says NO to their looting and lying, that says YES to the words of the prophets, finding our way back to the core of our humanity, the core of goodness which is within each and every one of us. It ain’t easy for sure and it is doable. This is the work of a spiritual discipline, a program of recovery from the inner and outer slave-masters that have imprisoned us in jail cells of their making, not God’s making. Instead of looking upward and asking God, “why is this happening to me” or, as my mother was wont to do, “God in Heaven, what did I do to deserve this”-always looking at me or pointing her finger at me. GOD IS NOT PERNICIOUS! God is not punishing, God is loving, God is always open to our return and only through returning to our first love, God, can We the People return to the work that our soul was created to do.

Rather than continue to act in ways that certify the indictment of Jeremiah 2:13; “My people have done a twofold wrong: They have forsaken Me, the Fount of living waters and hewed out for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot even hold water”. Rather than turn back to the lessons and teachings of Jesus, Moses, the prophets, Mohammed, et al; we the people continue to believe these “broken cisterns” will, one day, hold water! Rather than “come to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity” as the 2nd step of AA proclaims, we the people continue to carry on in doing the same things over and over again expecting different results-Einstein’s definition of insanity. Trump, Netanyahu, Putin, Xi, et al are not new phenomena, their ilk has been with us throughout the history of humanity. It is the prophets who come to remind us of our greatness, of our humanness, it is Jesus, Mohammed, Moses, who have relayed the Word of God to all of us and it is we the people who continue to “hew out cisterns…broken cisterns that cannot even hold water” denying the facts of history, denying the truth of humanness, denying the call of God-AYECHA, WHERE ARE YOU

I am capitalizing because I am agitated and angry at myself, at you, at human beings who, to this day, refuse to acknowledge truth, who refuse to see one another as reflections of God, who refuse to “do justly, love mercy, walk in the ways of God”. How can this realization NOT be infuriating, how can We the People not wake up and smell the roses?

The solution is to engage in a spiritual practice, to see a physician of the soul as Maimonidies teaches in his book 8 Chapters. The solution is to learn how to say NO to the selfishness and fear within each of us, the solution is to understand the wisdom of Einstein’s statement: “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds”. We the People are being called by this moment, by the actions and teachings of all faiths to not be deterred by “violent opposition”, to be like Rev King, John Lewis, the pioneers of the State of Israel, the men of the Revolutionary Army led by George Washington, the women who have stood for change like Rosa Parks, Golda Meir, Susan B. Anthony, and all the other people who have refused to let the bastards win. I am doing my part and I must do more, you must do more also. Because We the People have the spirit of God within us our moral compass is stronger than the negativity of the deceivers and mendacious ones. It is time for We the People to live into our TRUTH and GOD’S TRUTH!
God Bless: STOP GHOSTING GOD, GHOSTING SELF, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 141

“This is the day Adonai has made, I will rejoice in it.” Today, in much of the Jewish world is Simchat Torah, rejoicing in the Torah. Last night, across the Jewish world was a night of singing, marching with the Torah, at Beit T’Shuvah when I was there we would unroll the entire Torah reading the end of Deuteronomy and the beginning of Genesis. Each member of the community would point to a word and the Rabbis at the time would translate the word and this would be the “word of Torah” for the member for the entire year. Many people carried the word with them throughout the year and did their best to live into it. This practice we engaged in is very meaningful to many of us who were there. I carry these words of Torah, the Bible within me and continue to do the best I can to live into them.

To rejoice, in my opinion, has the connotation to live into what we are rejoicing about. I am calling out my fellow Jews to take a deep introspective look at themselves and respond to the question: Am I living what I am ‘rejoicing’ in or just having  a party with my friends? This question is haunting me right now. I have been thinking about my ancestors, my parents, my aunts and uncles all of whom are deceased. I think about this being the 60th year I have said Kaddish for my father and each time I ask myself am I living the values he taught me, thank God I can say yes for these past 39+ years and even when I was ‘out there’, there were things I did that he would have wanted me to, like taking care of my mother and sister, helping my brother, showing up when needed. I rejoice in my father’s memory, I rejoice in his teachings, I rejoice in being the son of Jerry Borovitz!! I rejoice in the power of Torah, the power of the Bible in my life which my dad wanted his sons and daughter to learn about. I rejoice in the heritage of my grandparents and I live into their wisdom, their love and do the best I can to live these ways out loud.

This is the rub for me, I know so many people who claim to be ‘good Torah Jews’ who fail to love the stranger, who fail to love their neighbors, who fail to hear the call of God no many how many times a day God calls out Ayecha, who fail to pursue righteousness, who fail to do justly, to love mercy, and persist in declaring they are living in God’s ways! I am, once again, enraged by these liars and thieves these idolatrous and chameleons, these desecrators of God’s name. How can anyone who has read the Bible, who rejoices in the Bible, in the Torah, in the New Testament NOT see the subterfuge of these power-hungry deceivers? I am at a loss to understand this. That the Republicans still enjoy any support tells me how much We the People have fallen for the con, have drunk the kool-aid, have succumbed to the ether that these ‘fine christian folk’, these ‘frumma yidden’(orthodox Jews) are putting out! Yet, it seems as if we the people are still like fish, falling for their bullshit hook, line and sinker.

Hence my railing about rejoicing, there can be no joy when one is not living into the heritage passed down for thousands of years from Moses, from Christ, from God. There can be no joy when one is not willing to engage with at least 1 word of the Bible and live that word in all their affairs because the Bible, the Torah, the Gospels are as relevant in this moment as they were when they were first given to We the People. How is it possible for people to not know this, to not follow the ways of the Bible, the Gospels? It is possible only when we the people decide to be LAZY and let someone else tell us what is being said, let someone else explain how the words don’t mean what they mean and instead mean “we the power-hungry autocrats” want them to mean so their power is absolute. Rather than “making a decision to turn our lives over to the care of God”, as we say in AA, the priests and ministers, Rabbis and Imams want us to turn our lives over to the mendacious ones who seek and maintain power. UGH

I have fought this fight all my life, knowing what is right and good according to the Bible and watching “the one with gold rules”. I gave into the deep anger I had because of this societal norm and for 39+ years have dedicated myself to bringing a different message, a prophetic message of return, of rejoice in our heritage, in the love shown by God, Moses, Jesus, whomever for giving us this rich and enduring legacy of JOY, kindness, love, Truth, justice, mercy. I keep living into this legacy one grain of sand more each day. Thanks Dad!

ACTION STEP:

How are you rejoicing through action and improving one grain of sand more each day?
GOD BLESS, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 140

“Today is the day Adonai has made, I will rejoice in it”! Today is the 7th day of Sukkot, Hoshanah Rabbah, when the willow from the Lulav is beaten on the ground to symbolize the ‘final’ penitentiary gesture as some say, we the people have until Hoshanah Rabbah to be redeemed, it isn’t ‘really sealed’ on Yom Kippur. The Sefat Emet, a leader of the Gerer movement and a mystical master, teaches that Hoshanah Rabbah comes to remind us that even the lowly are worthy and able to achieve redemption. This is cause for celebration in my estimation-NO ONE is too low, too far gone, too high and mighty that they are unable to achieve redemption if they are willing to ‘beat the bullshit’ out of them by participating in beating the willows on the floor. NO ONE is incapable of seeing themselves in truth or at least seeking the truth from another person about themselves.

“Today is the day Adonai has made” is all about rejoicing in the truth, connecting with the truth about oneself, about the world around them, about their authentic connections and the ones which are inauthentic, about the lies/bullshit one tells oneself and the truth one hides from until another human being, having great faith in the one who is hiding, confronts this person and change occurs. While this doesn’t happen all the time, We the People can see that it occurred with King David, it is called out by the prophets, it happened with the people of Nineveh, it happens each and every day in recovery and in life. People have a spiritual awakening and the blinders come off, the cotton comes out of the ears and a whole new world is opened up to we the people and change is no longer a dream/fantasy, it is a reality that We the People can live into.

The beating of the willow branches can also be a metaphor for not beating oneself up for one’s mistakes - a common exercise among we the people. Maybe what we are beating is the hubris that we should get it perfect/right all the time-a terrible burden that I carry and, while I am well aware of my imperfections, I still believe that I should get it right when I know how to, negating the truth that I am fallible, I will make ‘dumb’ mistakes, I will not be the best bridge player, the best ceramist, the best anything. I know this and I still fall for the bullshit and lies I tell myself- UGH!! “Today is the day Adonai has made and I will rejoice in it” reminds me, tells me, hits me over the head to realize my missing the marks help me grow and are examples for another human being to learn from, not to hate myself, get down on myself, berate myself because I make the same ones over and over in different forms, with different nuances:)!

This is the challenge of leadership in all forms, institutional, governmental, business, communal, familial, and personal: see oneself as if you need to be redeemed, you will make mistakes, you are imperfect, and you can be forgiven, you can be redeemed, you can be authentic and true to your inner callings, you can rejoin the covenant with God, with family, etc. The challenge is to admit “I am not my worst action”, “I am worthy and do not have to be in shame over mistakes I make”, “I don’t have to hide my SELF from me, nor  anyone else”. It is so hard for human beings to do these actions even though the Bible, the New Testament are replete with examples of our heroes doing this, knowing this, engaging in the work of beating the bullshit out of themselves every time they hit the willows on the floor today.

Unfortunately, most of these ‘good religious jews’ will not see this experience as a spiritual one, they will be beating their enemies, their fellow Jews who don’t agree with them, who don’t worship like them, who don’t drink the same kool-aid as them. This is the sadness I am experiencing this morning. We the Jewish People have this beautiful ritual to remind us of our humanity, of our fallibility, of our imperfections and our compassion for not only ourselves, for everyone because the human race is, by design, IMPERFECT! By nature and nurture, We the People will make the same mistake in one form or another many times over till we conquer that one only to move on to the next area! There is no THERE, there, there is only here and now, imperfect as We the People are, it is mandatory to beat the lies and the bullshit out of us, at least for today, so we can make a new plan, choose a person to help us see truth when we are incapable of vision, and accept our imperfections as part of being a ‘perfect human being’.

ACTION STEP:
Write down the 3 main lies/bullshit you buy into and make a plan to let them go

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day139

“Today is the day Adonai has made, l will rejoice in it”! Writing these words every day reminds me to be grateful, to be in touch with the reality of living, the potentiality of this day, the ability to look back, look forward and make this day a day of reconciliation of past errors and goodness with how to make today and tomorrow a better day. I have been dreaming a lot, or at least knowing I am dreaming, which is a change for me. I do not remember the exact details of these dreams and they are causing some inner turmoil, some past stuff I haven’t resolved. Remembering and immersing myself in the words above force me to work on the resolution of my inner turmoil and move forward with passion and purpose.

Knowing what is going on in the world today, the cruelty seems so familiar and yet, surprising. Being in recovery, finding a path of freedom through the spirituality of Judaism and AA, has brought me to know that We the People are better than our worst actions, gifts me with living in radical amazement and the bewilderment of how so many of we the people choose to live in resentment, anger, cruelty, prejudices, etc. While cruelty has been with us forever, think of Cain and Abel, the Bible is replete with stories of everyday people who perform the heroic acts of loving the stranger, of knowing how important freedom is, actively pursue justice, seek out opportunities to be righteous and kind, know that none of us are THE ONE rather, we are all servants with intuitive minds that can lead us to join together to make this world better, that hear the Call from Sinai each and every day.

I am struck with the truth that cruelty has a greater gravitational pull that kindness and this is antithetical to the Work of God as the Bible teaches us, as Jesus preached. The Jewish people began a way of living that was a maladjustment to the societal norm of the times. King David wrote the Psalms, won the wars, was a bad father and a sex addict, whose greatest love was not Bathsheba, was not his children, rather his greatest love affair was with God. His story teaches us that We the People can and must rise above our pettiness and pride, envy and enmity, to connect with the Ineffable One, with the spiritual source of the universe, to turn chaos into creation, to know that darkness does come before the dawn as the opening words of Genesis teach us.

We the People do not have to succumb to the autocracy of Hitler, Stalin, Putin, Xi, Kim Jung Un, Trump, Netanyahu, et al. We the People are better than this! It is time for us to STAND UP and say NO to the liars and idolators, NO to the oligarchs and haters, NO to the grifters and xenophobic lunatics. It is time for us to STAND UP and say YES to truth, YES to the call of the prophets, YES to kindness, YES to loving the stranger, YES to caring for the poor and the needy, the widow and orphan, etc. I am overwhelmed right now with the kindness that so many people showed my mother and my family after my father died, there was a man who was a member of the Temple we belonged to and when I asked him to give me a quote for new flooring, Sanford Mintz, charged my mother 10% below cost and did the installation for free-this was his way of caring for the widow and the orphan. Even the mafiosos who ‘took me under their wing’ did so to help me and my family make ends meet. Caring and kindness comes from the most unexpected places some times and denied by the expected places many times.

I am thinking about the errors I made as a kid, the lies I told just to get the heat off, because I was afraid and still suffer from this fear to this day. It is the fear that kept me hiding, it is the fear that keeps me from doing something on my own, it is the fear that keeps me from telling some people exactly how I feel about their actions, it is the fear that has stopped me from finding a new platform. It is the fear of being laughed at, the fear of looking stupid, the fear that no one will show up for the party I throw. I am not even having a party for my 75th Birthday because who would show up? This cruelty towards myself has been internalized and I am realizing how this fear/cruelty permeates my living AND I rejoice in knowing this now, I rejoice in seeking a solution to transform this fear from in front of me to put it at my back and sail forward. This is the power of “this is the day Adonai has made and I will rejoice in it”!!
ACTION STEP:

What do you need to say YES to and NO to

How are you going to rejoice in knowing what stops you and transform the fear/cruelty into something good

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 138

“This is the day Adonai has made, I will rejoice in it”. Watching Sen. Eric Schmidt make a fool of himself both by not having the facts regarding his accusation against Jack Smith in a Senate hearing yesterday and by spitting on the dignity of the Senate Chamber by smugly calling Jack Smith a “dirtbag” causes me to wonder how these ‘fine christian white men’ like him reconcile their behaviors with this verse from Psalms, with Christ’s teachings, with human decency. Yet, these ‘fine christian white men’ continue to bastardize Christ, God, and the holiness of both the Bible and the New Testament. How sad and infuriating. The question that lies before We the People is will we keep buying their lies, their thievery, their shitting on everything We, People of Faith hold dear? These are the people Ramban is speaking of in his commentary on “you shall be holy” in Leviticus 19; “it is possible to be a scoundrel within the bounds of Torah” so this comes to remind us to keep the spirit of the law, the spirit of the Torah as well as the literal. Yet, far too many of We the People who claim to be ‘good jews, good christians, good catholics, good muslims’ continue to bastardize the Holy Texts we are privileged to engage with, continue to misquote and misuse the words of God, of Moses, of Christ, of Mohammed, of the prophets to suit our own selfish desires. WHEN WILL IT END?

It will end when We the People make a decision to bring together the “House of Jacob” and the “House of Israel”. These two descriptors are used interchangeably according to many scholars and in my immersion into Jeremiah, into the Bible, I believe these two terms connote, if not denote, two different ways of being. We know the ways of Jacob, ie conman, liar, cheat, thief, and we know the ways of Israel, ie connected to God, grateful for what he has, decent and human. The ways of selfishness, of greed, of cruelty can and will end ONLY WHEN WE THE PEOPLE  put together these two parts, using our cunning to help another, using the energy from the negativity inside of each of us to do the opposite of what the negative inclination is hounding us to do, the opposite of what the selfishness, the greed, the need to be right is telling us to do. AND, we the people can do this only when the ways of God become more important than the societal norms We the People have come to accept. While in AA, acceptance is the answer to all our problems today, according to Dr. Paul, in our daily living, acceptance of evil leads to more evil, acceptance of greed leads to more greed, acceptance of cruelty leads to more cruelty. Dr. Paul is speaking to the truth that unless I accept that cruelty is here, that evil is real, that greed is one of the deadly sins for a reason, I cannot change the hold it has over me and certainly not help another(s) person change the hold it has on him/her.

The actions taken in the name of “We the People” by the founding fathers led to the revolution, led to the Constitution, led to the Bill of Rights, led to the rule of law, led to the freedoms this country was built on. The actions taken in the name of “We the People” by the current powerbrokers, the idolators in charge, the purveyors of cruelty with a vengeance, the grifters, and their families under the guise of ‘christian values’ is ABHORRENT! I am screaming in this moment, in this blog because I am so enraged, so overwhelmed with righteous indignation because way too many of we the people believe that God gives them the right to be cruel, to steal from ‘those people’, to lock people up in cages treating them like animals, to deny truth, to do things only to make “sound bites” and to lie with impunity. THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO REJOICE IN THIS DAY THAT GOD HAS MADE!

These wannabe  Mafia Bosses are nothing but PUNKS and, having known some Mafiosos, they do not have the integrity that those men had back in the day. I know the power of societal norms, standards, keeping up with ‘the Jones’, etc. I also know the power of living into “this day that Adonai has made” relieves me of the pressure of having to keep up with anyone! It gives me the freedom and the obligation to be maladjusted, to see this day as new, to see each experience as new, different, non-repeatable, and exhilaratingly full of promise and potentials for learning, growing, becoming more of the person I am created to be. This is what is important, as I read the prophets, as I hear God’s call, as I continue to lessen my own Ghosting of God, Ghosting of self. It is the only way to make my corner of the world better. It is the only way you can make your corner of the world better. ACTION STEP:
Write out a plan to bring your Jacob and your Israel more together

Write out a plan each day to “rejoice in” “this day” knowing it is a gift

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 137

“Today is the day Adonai has made and I will rejoice in it”! These words remind all of us to be grateful for one more day, one more opportunity to serve something, someone greater than ourselves AND We the People seem to have forgotten this truth, this call. While it is easy to see this in another human being, it is crucial to see our own obliviousness to this truth. Rather than continue to seek what I want, this verse calls on me/you to seek what God wants-kindness, truth, justice, mercy, love, compassion. Jeremiah 2:7 speaks to our actions: “I brought you to this country of farmland to enjoy its fruits and bounty; but you came and defiled My land and made My inheritance (to you) an abomination.” WTF, people? Have we truly learned nothing throughout these 1000’s of years, have we truly read, studied the words of Moses, the prophets, King David, the Psalmists, Jesus, and learned NOTHING? How is this possible?

Exactly the way the people of Judea did; by giving into the lies of society, the erroneous, egotistical belief that “only I can do this”, “only I can save you” of the autocrat, “we know what you need better than you do”, “we have to tame these savages who have their own religion and customs” of the religious fundamentalist, “if you ain’t white, you less than”, “I have to keep power by any means because if I don’t, they will do to me what I have been doing to them” of the ethnonationalist and the tech oligarch. These societal norms, the making of a scapegoat, the making of ‘the other’, the creating a narrative that is so intoxicating that the uniformed, the lazy, the tired will buy into have brought us to the brink of ruin, the brink of the loss of Freedom of the press, of religious observance in our own ways and not dictated by Hegseth et al, the brink of slavery, the creation of concentration camps which deny contact with the outside world, even lawyers; which deny basic health safety conditions, which separate families, which deny medical care.

Isn’t it time to realize the gift of living in America, the gift of living in Israel and STOP “defiling the land”, STOP “making the land an abomination”, STOP making ourselves abominations, STOP believing we are entitled to do whatever we want and fuck the rest of the people? Jeremiah is screaming at us to HEAR, LISTEN, UNDERSTAND that we the people cannot go on for much longer like we are and keep the freedoms our ancestors fought so hard for, some giving their lives for! I know people don’t like the prophets because they are always ‘wagging their fingers at me’ as people have told me, I love them because they are bringing the indictment of my actions, of society’s actions and telling us “YOU CAN DO BETTER”, “YOU CAN RETURN”. This is, I believe what is meant in the morning prayer upon arising, the Modeh Ani, “great is Your faithfulness”. God, the prophets believe We the People can change!

This is the conundrum that we the people face right now-God, Jeremiah, the rest of the prophets, Pope Leo, calling we the people back home, believing it is possible to return, renew, move forward and Trump, Musk, Netanyahu, Putin, Xi, et al calling us to move backwards, return to the times of the robber barons, the times of feudal estates, the times of anti-semitism, the times of fucking over the poor and the needy, the times of hating your neighbor in your heart! The amount of people who want to be sheep to these liars, these wannabe Pharaohs is astounding and that all of them have not retreated from supporting Trump. Which master will you serve?

Having served the Pharaoh within me, having served the Moses within me, having been ruled by people who did not really care about me and having chosen to be ‘ruled’ by God I know this dilemma well and, since Dec of 1986, I have chosen to serve God, to stop being the abomination I was, hear the Call, do the work and live a life that is compatible with my stature: being human. I have come home, returned to God’s ways, and never been alone since. I have made mistakes, I have acted like a Pharaoh in dealings with some people over the years, I have been misunderstood, I have misunderstood another(s), I have been exiled and I have always welcomed the return of those I have had to exile from my life, from my workplace. It is hard to say the Modeh Ani, know that “today is the day” and see the ways I mess it up and it is the most exhilarating experience to live into the words of the prayers, the words of hope and return of the prophets-I do it every day and I gather strength, experience and hope from this.

ACTION STEP:

How are you making life an abomination by serving Pharaoh

How are you making your life a gift by serving God?

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 136

“Today is the day Adonai has made, I will rejoice in it”. It is interesting how many of We the People fail to recognize this basic truth; none of us has the power to make a day come into being, it is a law of nature that, unless we the people cause the destruction of the world, that is immutable. Yet, too many of us believe we have the power to make anything and everything happen. Too many of us believe all that matters is what can be gained for self is all important. Hence, this verse from Psalms comes to remind us-it ain’t all about our egos, our comforts, our desires. There is something greater than ourselves in play each day and our mission is to find it, promote it, and aid another(s) and God in our own unique manner.

In the September 20 edition of the New York Times magazine there is an interview with Naomi Klein and Astra Taylor about their new book “End Times Fascism and the Fight for the Living World”. Harriet showed it to me after she read it and it is a chilling interview. It tells a story of how far the selfishness, the cancer of prejudice, the disdain for humanity some people, especially people in power right now, have for the rest of us, for the world itself. There is a new coalition of ethnonationalists, religious fundamentalists, and tech oligarchs who want to make the world theirs after they destroy it-believing they will be saved, they have the bunkers to last until it is safe to come out! What strikes me deeply in this article aside from the fact that the religious fundamentalists come in all faiths, these groups have historically been sworn enemies, is that Klein and Taylor call this unholy coalition: “traitors to creation, traitors to life”. WOW!

What they are saying, the warning they are giving, is the same warning that the prophets give in their talks with Israel and Judea in the Bible, the same warning that prophets have given throughout the millennia, the same indictments that have been called out by God through different people throughout history. The question for all of us is: Are we going to live into the promise of “Today is the day Adonai made” and our rejoicing begins with protecting HaYom, this day? Are we going to end our incessant need to deceive ourselves into thinking ‘this too shall pass’ ‘we have seen this before and it will burn itself out’, ‘God will send someone will come to save us’,  and other such lies we tell ourselves and one another? Will I stop thinking of only myself and join with community to stop the hatred that is spewing forth from ‘leaders’, put the cancer of prejudice, racism, antisemitism into remission hopefully leading to a cure for this insidious cancer?

Thinking about these questions reminds me of Jeremiah 2:8, “the priests don’t say “where is God”, the ones who lay hold of the Torah don’t know me”. God keeps calling out Ayecha-where are you and we the people don’t respond, we are still hiding like Adam and Eve. The people who speak so reverently concerning the Torah, the Bible don’t know God, don’t know that God loves the stranger, the poor, the needy, and when we the people abuse them, use them to practice our cruelty, forget the dictates to love them, these ones ‘who lay hold of the Torah’ are wielding it’s voice, it’s power for their sake, not God’s! Yet, too many of we the people believe they speak in God’s name and either reject their lies and bullshit completely or accept their deceptions as truth that comes from Mt. Sinai-OY!! When the priests in the churches, the ministers in the churches, the Rabbis in the synagogues, the Imams in the mosques fail to ask “where is God”, they are superimposing their will, the will of the wealthy in their congregations. How Sad!

I am appalled at what passes for spiritual health today, I am appalled at the lack of courage of the Clergy today, just as Martin Luther King was appalled in his time, just as Abraham Joshua Heschel was appalled in his time both in Germany and in America, just as Catholic, Christian, Jewish, Muslim clergy have been appalled during other times in history. That these ‘fine religious folks” raise the Bible above one’s head and then use the bastardization of Jeremiah, the prophets, the imperfect heroes of the Bible as weapons of mass destruction to the soul of human beings, to be “traitors to creation, traitors to life”is infuriating. AND it will continue until enough of We the People stand up and say NO, as the people of Minneapolis, Chicago, Los Angeles, Connecticut and all parts in-between are doing. It is going to take ALL of We the People who want a better future for our children, who want to honor the call of God, who want to change the indictment of Jeremiah to band together and put these cancer-spreading prejudice people into remission, casting them outside the norm once again. This is today’s ACTION STEP

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 135

“Today is the Day Adonai has made, I will rejoice in it”. This is the theme of the holiday of Sukkot, which we are in the 2nd day of. Happy Sukkot!! As I have said before, F$#**@k Happy! It is another societal norm, mental cliche that belies the truth- there is no guarantee that we the people will be happy and, as I have stated over and over again, joy is not the same as ‘happy’. In so many cases, ‘happy’ is phony, a front, facade that people should ‘put a smile on your face’ and pretend. Well, why I believe in acting your way into right thinking, feeling; I do not believe pretending to be something that is a societal standard is not the “next right thing to do”. Rejoicing is on a whole other level, it is making the statement that living with God, being guided by our higher consciousness is more important than giving in to the societal norms, mental cliches we the people have grown up with, come to accept in our later years, when we needed the job, keep people ‘happy’ with us, etc.

This is the path of our ancestors, rejecting the norms of society in their times, from Noah to Abraham, from Esau/Jacob to Moses, from King David to the prophets, the entirety of the Hebrew Bible is a rejection of the societal norms of the time and instituting higher norms, decency, truth, justice, kindness, compassion, love, joy in all our affairs, as the 12th step of AA reminds us to do. Given our multitude of Bible studies, both in Christianity, Judaism, given the number of Big Book studies happening around the globe, how can We the People continue to be ruled by these ridiculous norms of ‘society’? How can we the people continue to jettison joy in favor of ‘happy’, truth in favor of expedience, justice in favor of blindness, love in favor of cruelty, the commandment to love the stranger in favor of hatred, political expediency, etc?

BECAUSE WE THE PEOPLE HAVE BECOME LAZY, just as Moses says in Parsha Hazinnu: “Jeshurun grew fat and kicked, You grew fat, gross, coarse, They forsook God and spurned the rock of their support”(Deut. 31:15). This is the story the prophets tell us, this is the  other side of the story that our ancestors wrote with their lives-the side that makes up the norms, that goes along to get along, the side that enforces the norms and denies the truth of being maladjusted to these norms, the side that denies the need to BE human and BE true to the soul we are created to be. This is the schizophrenia of being human, this is the both/and of being alive and, it takes kindness to reconcile these two sides, it takes love to bring them together, it takes justice to decide which side to go with in the moment we are in, it takes truth to fight against the outside lies and self-deception we are bombarded with, it takes love to allow ourselves our “oops I made a mistake moments” and not surrender to ‘be happy’, ‘I am a failure’ messages that come from childhood.

There is a solution, of course! Yesterday, in studying with my friend and teacher, Rabbi Hazzan Danny Maseng, we spoke about the prophets’ being hated not because they were wagging their fingers at us, rather because they are reciting the indictment against us, they recite the jury’s findings and we don’t want to hear it-be it before the destruction of the Israel, the destruction of Judea, and/or the destruction of freedom, democracy, America, the State of Israel. Rather than hearing the plea that Jeremiah recites in verse 2: “what wrong did your ancestors find in Me that they abandoned Me and went after delusion and became deluded”, we the people have continued to hear the call of the idol, be it Baal, Zeus, Money, Prestige, Power, etc and followed them! Can you hear the cry of God’s voice in the first half of the sentence “what have I done to you for you to treat me like this” is God’s question and it is never answered by us, because there is no answer-it is not God who is the abandoner, it is We the People and until we acknowledge this truth, we will continue to substitute ‘happy’ for joy, lies for truth, senseless hatred for love, perversion for justice, cruelty for kindness.

In sitting down this morning, I had a different idea to write on, even as I sat down to write AND, connecting with God, this is what is coming out. The solution is simple, it is said over and over again by the prophets, by Moses, by God, by us in our daily prayers: RETURN to the One who created us, RETURN to the ‘new’ Norms found in the Bible-not the controlling ones of some Rabbis-, RETURN to JOY by loving the stranger, being truthful with oneself, being kind to one another, reminding one another of the way to live justly and in mercy.
ACTION STEP:

What societal norms are holding you back from BEING YOU

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 134

“This is the Day Adonai has made and I will rejoice in it”! Once again, given Bibi’s defiance and his inability to acknowledge any wrongdoing, his absolute belief that everything he does, everything he has the IDF, the Settlers, the Far-right religious nationalists in Israel do, even inciting the assassination of Yitzchak Rabin, z”l, is correct and properI imagine Bibi and his cronies don’t even bother with the confessionals as they do it all right-just listen to him talk! AND THEN there is Donny-baby in diapers- kissing Xi’s ass, bowing down to him, begging him to like him, while Xi is helping Iran, meddling in the elections with their bots, their AI, conspiring with Vladi to make America GULLIBLE AGAIN! Musk, Bezos, Altman all betraying our country, doing everything they can to destroy the Freedoms that Americans have “given their last full measure to preserve” is on full display, , it can be difficult to understand how to “rejoice in it” for some of We the People. Which is precisely the reason the Psalmist tells us we have to!

It is easy to “rejoice in it” when everything is going our way-DUH! The hidden meaning of this verse, to me, is to realize the resilience and ability of one human being to make a difference in spite of the chaos, the cruelty, the ‘power’ of the autocrat. I am still stuck on the Hannah Arendt movie we watched over the weekend. It is not only thinking that forces us to BE HUMAN, it is thinking combined with spirit, combined with the sense of moral outrage and knowing of the Prophets, that is found in the Bible. The challenge, the power of this verse of Psalms is to allow the truth of our power, when combined with our spirit, to DO GOOD, to BE KIND, to LOVE MERCY, to DO JUSTLY, to transform the Evil Inclination into a Power for GOOD. This  opportunity, is one of the reasons “I will rejoice in it”!

Challenging We the People to rise above being we the people is part and parcel of this verse and has me wondering how have so many of We the People turned from our birthrights, from our core values, from the spiritual DNA and RNA that courses through our being and become we the people, actually become we the sheep being led by shepherds who only want what is best for themselves, their families, their co-conspirators. The relinquishing of everything that makes us BE HUMAN is beyond my ken to understand, it goes against every fiber of my being, it is a Hillul HaShem, a Desecration of God’s Name, it is the way the Israelites became slaves in Egypt and why the hell can We the People stop repeating the same behaviors, what is the T’Shuvah that is not being done that allows some of us to keep turning to autocracy, to non-thinking, to CHOOSE DEATH?

I have no idea what is happening in this Country, in Israel, across the Globe. Hating Jews is an old trope and fallback position, Jews hating Jews is also an old story, Jews relinquishing their moral compass, their freedoms, their covenant with God for ‘status’, for ‘wealth’, for ‘happiness’, for ‘power’ etc is also an old story and fallback position. When I see Lutnick smiling, I want to smash him in the face and go upside his head to get him to “RETURN AGAIN to the land of his soul” as Reb Shlomo teaches us in his song/prayer of the same name. The question that keeps arising in “this Day Adonai has made” is how do We the Rabbis, We the People dedicated to God’s Will, We the People in Recovery who know the pull of the dark side help the rest of humanity recover from their spiritual maladies?

This is one of the experiences “I will rejoice in it” today. My writing, my books, my old speaking, my new opportunities to speak-while few and far between, all give me the opportunity to help another human being recover from their spiritual malady! I know the power of the negative, I know the power of the “dark side”, the force of Darth Vader is alive and well, growing in power through Trump, Netanyahu, their co-conspirators, which is reminiscent of the Robber Baron time in America that a Republican President, Teddy Roosevelt, put an end to! I had to put an end to blindly falling into the hypnotic state of listening to my “dark side” and willingly go along with it to where I was on the precipice of believing the “dark side” was my “good side”! This is when I heard God calling out to me, my higher consciousness calling out to me, and this time, I LISTENED! This is what makes “this day Adonai has made I will rejoice in it” possible-our ability to listen. It changes my life, it changes the lives of people around me, it has changed the lives of 1000’s of recovering people and their families.
ACTION STEP:

“REJOICE IN IT” at some point each day for the next week and see how much changes within you and around you.

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Stop Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 133

“This is the Day Adonai has made and I will rejoice in it”! Harriet is very ambivalent about this phrase. She understands its meaning and agrees with the sentiment, it is difficult for her to “rejoice in it” with all that is happening in the world, with the aging process, and the tearing down of everything her life has been about: thinking, individuality, helping the needy and the poor, Being Human. I understand Harriet’s dilemma and it got me thinking this morning that many of We the People must have the same dilemma, in one form or another.

The fact that an estimated 27% of children are estranged from their parents is astounding. The fact that Washington DC is no longer a place of ideas and arguments for the sake of ensuring that “a government of the people, by the people, for the people will not perish from this earth” are no longer happening, that the President of United States is a thief and a liar, a conman and a despicable being who is unable to BE HUMAN are some of the causes of this dilemma. That the very faith which birthed so many other faiths, remember Abraham was the father of all the faiths-in my opinion even the Eastern traditions, is now engaged in senseless hatred, making another group “the other”, going along with autocrats and using Judaism as an autocratic faith, exploiting the masses is certainly adding to this dilemma. The Christian Nationalists and Prosperity Gospel preachers and followers who are bastardizing the words and actions of Jesus Christ is adding to this dilemma. The fear of being our elections no longer being free nor fair, our freedom of the press being no longer true, our freedom to assemble, to worship being destroyed is adding to this dilemma.

All the more reason to engage in this way of being. All the more reason to live in the radical amazement Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel taught and lived. All the more reason to be “maladjusted to norms and words” rather than go along with the societal norms and mental cliches that are ruining our lives. In watching the movie: Hannah Arendt on Apple TV, the dramatic portrayal of her life during and after the Eichmann trial, Harriet and I agreed with Ms. Arendt that without thinking how can one live into their humanity? The crimes of Eichmann, et al, were that they chose to be non-thinking, they chose to “follow orders”, they chose to be amoral and, these choices led them to no longer have choice. Ergo: without choice, without thinking, it is impossible to BE HUMAN. It is what we are witnessing all around the globe and it could be overwhelming.

Yet, the melancholy brilliant, bright light and spirit, Reb Nachman tells us the greatest sin is to despair, the worst thing we can do is give in to the melancholy and defeat ourselves. Of course, “the world is a narrow bridge” and Reb Nachman’s response is: “the core principle is to not be afraid.” Another way to understand “the world” is to use the root of Olam, world in Hebrew, which means “to conceal”. Reb Nachman’s teaching could be “All the concealments are within in us, the most important thing is to not be afraid.” We the People do not have to be afraid of what is concealed, as Moses tells us in Deuteronomy, that is God’s business-our business is to deal with what we know, what we can see, never taking anything for granted, being surprised by both the evil in the world and dealing with the evil and the goodness that is also abundant in the world.

For me, “this is the day Adonai has made and I will rejoice in it” teaches me and holds me accountable to add greatly to the goodness in the world each day and lessen my additions to the evil that is in the world. In thinking about what is concealed, I have to search to uncover what I am concealing about myself, what I am concealing about another human being that will help them be a better person, what keeps me in fear rather than following Reb Nachman’s dictate. I am very certain that God doesn’t put stumbling blocks before me. I am very certain that God doesn’t speak to me in ways I cannot understand. I am very certain that the more I immerse myself in my living, in my soul, in my inner life, the more that will be revealed and the more good I can put into the world. I am moved by this phrase to NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE IN to the bullshit of Bibi, of Donny, of their henchmen and women. I am moved by this phrase to never be estranged from my siblings, my family, my daughter, my Harriet, my authentic self! This is what makes me to “rejoice in it”!
ACTION STEP

Whom have you become estranged, how to you build a bridge back?

How have you given up thinking in order to belong to a group?

Do you “rejoice in it” this day?

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 132

“This is the day that Adonai has made and I will rejoice in it”! We are heading into the holiday of Sukkot, the living in a hut outside in the elements to remind us of the journey of our ancestors in the desert. It also reminds us of the fragility of life, the impermanence of ownership, the reality of nature and the both/and of being human-important and powerless, significant and insignificant all at the same time. The greeting we say to one another is “season of joy”, coming after the “day like death” of Yom Kippur. Yet, are We the People really able to rejoice? One of the observations I have made is: most people seek to be happy rather than joyous.

Joy is not a destination, in my understanding of living. It is an address that some of We the People live at while others keep substituting happiness for joy. Happiness is fleeting, it is a momentary experience. Joy, on the other hand, has nothing to do with being happy, it is the experience of realizing “this is the day Adonai has made and I rejoice in it”. It is the realization of the wonder and awe of being alive. It is the realization of knowing that, as Rabbi Heschel teaches, “our destiny is to serve”. It is the satisfaction of doing a mitzvah, it is being transparent and choosing not to hide. Being in truth is a foundational attribute of joy and the only way to live at it’s address. It is a state of being that transcends moments and transforms every day into an opportunity to “be the soul we are created to be” as Thomas Merton teaches us.

Truth is at the core of the Bible, of Judaism, of Christianity, of Islam, of the Eastern traditions. Yet, it is a commodity that is sorely lacking in most human beings. It is not for lack of our ability to be in truth, truth is in our core, in our guts, in our souls, rather it is for lack of willingness by we the people. Watching people in services go through the motions, watching people sitting in the Sukkah who have no relationship to the need to be in truth, is painful and infuriating to me. It is also a sign of our times, where lies, alternative facts, graft, the one with the gold rules prevail over truth, decency, caring for the stranger, etc. Nowhere in Christ’s words nor in Christ’s deeds is mendacity, lying held up as a standard of behavior. Rather, the exact opposite is what got Christ crucified, in my opinion. Christ called out the people in power and they did not like it. Christ, like the prophets before him told the people what they needed to hear, not what they wanted to hear. Christ, like the prophets, was congruent in that his actions and his words matched.

Yet, today this way of being is seemingly too costly to pursue by the Clergy, by ‘the faithful’. Rather, desecrating Christ’s name, words, deeds is the the path too many of we the people are on. The bastardization of the prophets’ warnings and calls to return is much too popular in our times, as it has been throughout history. Rather than seeking to raise up our thinking, our knowing, our spiritual truths, we the people seem bent on being lazy, letting someone else tell us what to think, what the ‘real deal’ is and, in doing so losing our freedoms, losing our humanity. The protests happening around the ICE killings and shootings, the ridiculous and unholy actions of masked people stopping cars, raiding homes after children have left for school, just because they are “strangers in a strange land”, just because they may or may not have come to America legally(both are being targeted by ICE), is anathema to the founding of America by IMMIGRANTS! Each and every one of we the people are descendants of immigrants to America-including and especially Trump and Miller.

My address is Joy! I live here because I know what living anywhere else leads to-destruction of my goodness, uplifting of my negativity, harming the people around me. Each day, each year I find nuanced ways to change my way of being, realizing that what might have been right in those moments are not right nor appropriate in this moment. Living in truth and joy forces me/gives me the opportunity to find the mitzvah this moment calls for and begins with being grateful that I am alive this day, realizing that Adonai’s returning my soul to me means I do not have to be bogged down in the lies and the deceptions that plagued me yesterday, my soul is clean again-waiting for me to use it well more than schmutzing it up! It ain’t easy and living at joy and in truth is exhilarating beyond description! I am blessed to have a partner who thinks, who wrestles with me, who is my ezer k’negdo and we find pathways to joy and to truth together.

ACTION STEP: Choose Truth and Joy over being happy

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

  Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 131

“This is the day Adonai has made and I will rejoice in it” (Psalms 118:24) is the new way I am going to begin my blog. The reason for this is to remind We the People that each day is a miracle- we woke up YAY- each day is pregnant with possibilities to fulfill be human AND the commitment to do a little better this year-each day gives “an open door” to walk through as Rabbi Jules King spoke about yesterday at the services I attended.I was honored by Rabbi King with the opportunity to do a drosh/an explanation of the 13 Attributes of God.

I brought the truth to it, the truth about my hiding, the truth about my sadness/disappointments, the truth about my gratitude, the truth about all of We the People to stop with the whimsy melody of Ashamnu, and be real about our guilt, our betrayals, etc, be in truth about our goodness and greatness. The attributes are not for God’s sake, God doesn’t need our offerings, as the prophets teach, God needs our hearts, our doing of the next right action, our allegiance to one another, our denial of using the term ‘the other’ and replacing it with “another”. The 13 Attributes are for We the People to live into “walking in God’s ways”, to live into a way of living that honors our spiritual beingness, our grave and wondrous responsibility of being a partner in creation, to live in the radical amazement that this day brings. As usual, I had no script written, I just spoke from my being and, as I see over and over again, this touches people much differently than a prepared long sermon. Real begets Real and, God knows We the People need more real in our lives. The phony-baloney  bullshit of the MAGA crowd, the socialist democrats has put our freedom in grave jeopardy and it is WAY PAST TIME for We the People to retake our freedoms, renew our democracy, restrain the liars and deceivers, and find ways to argue for the sake of the GOOD, not for the sake of power, wealth, prestige, etc. This is one of the ways of taking the 13 Attributes of God into our beings, the path to walking in 1 of Adonai’s ways.

My Rabbi, teacher, best friend, Rabbi Ed Feinstein calls today, the most important day of the year. He says this because he is calling all Jews to see how Yom Kippur, the 40 days of T’Shuvah, the sound of the Shofar breaking the cement we have erected around our hearts, our souls, our intuitive mind, has CHANGED US. Is today just like Friday. Is today, ‘just another day’? When We the People see and experience this day as a gift, see and experience this day as an invitation to “walk through the open door where God is waiting for us” as Rabbi King taught us yesterday, then the Shamelessness, that is so rampant as an article in Wednesday’s NY Times reported, will no longer be tolerated, will no longer be applauded and cheered, will no longer be allowed to take our Freedoms away, will no longer be able to seek our enslavement and these modern-day Pharaohs will topple, just like Orban did.

What is different within each of us? What has stopped us year after year from being transformed, from being changed, from following the truth that is presented to us on Yom Kippur, on this day “that Adonai has made”? SOCIETAL NORMS and MENTAL CLICHES is the greatest cause of going along to get along. These norms and cliches have allowed for the “banality of evil” as Hannah Arendt wrote and spoke about. It is not some Hitler, Trump, Putin, Xi, Netanyahu, et al that is going to cause their evil to spread, rather it is the clerks like Eichmann, the MAGA crowd, the people pulling the strings to get the non-thinking people riled up and fixated on ‘them, those people’ that will spread and proclaim evil throughout the land and to all its inhabitants therein rather than proclaim FREEDOM throughout the land and to all its inhabitants therein. Are We the People going to do to stop this proliferation?

This is the reason for this blog, to move however many of We the People I can reach to stop this proliferation of evil, this spreading of lies, this over-seeding of mendacity that is happening in our churches, our mosques, our synagogues, our houses of government, in our national monuments like the Kennedy Center, etc. I am not strong, I don’t have the platform I used to, I don’t even know if anyone reads this AND, as Rabbi Tarfon says: It is not my responsibility to finish the work and I cannot cease to do it. The fire in my belly is roaring today a little more than yesterday and I am grateful!

ACTION STEP:

Write down the way YK changed you and what your plan is

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 130

NO BLOG TOMORROW

“Zeh HaYom Asah Adonai, Nagila V’Nishmacha Bo.” This is the Day Adonai has made, let us rejoice and be joyous in it, comes from Psalms, 118:24, which describes tonight and tomorrow perfectly. For the past 39 days, I have been writing on preparing for today in my blogs and doing my own preparation as well. I am ready for tonight, I am ready to annul the vows I could not keep, the ones I should not have made, and the ones I will make in the year to come that should not, can not come to fruition. I am ready to “be forgiven as I have said” by Adonai, for these ‘sins’ and for the ones I have yet to realize. Being clean going into Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur doesn’t mean I am pure, it means that everything I know, I am aware of, that is in my conscious mind I either have or are in the process of taking care of my messes and enhancing the good and holy work I do/did.

I am excited to hear the congregation admit the sins of the Ashamnu prayer, I am excited to hear their confessionals, I pray they will take these prayers seriously, they will understand the enormous gift life is and experience the joy of living life as one who loves the stranger, the widow, the orphan, the poor, the needy. One who is not afraid to admit their errors, not afraid to confront injustice, one who is not worried about keeping up with the neighbors nor does things just for optics. These are some of the ways Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur can, and I believe, must impact us-otherwise why go? Going to services, fasting, etc means nothing if one is not ready to be moved to a new spiritual level by them, by the process-in fact, I would say it is a Desecration of God’s Name and one’s own to go and not be moved, to “play the part” and not BE repentant, not BE serious about one’s foibles, one’s errors and the need to rectify, repair them as well as the need to change one’s ways!

While everyone is talking about AI and the dangers of it, people will desecrate God’s Name and their own by showing up, glad-handing everyone, go through the motions, and not be real about anything because facing the truth about oneself, about one’s gifts and vulnerabilities, one’s missing the marks and harms we have brought/wrought is just too much for way too many of We the People and this is the real destruction of humanity. When We the People continue to forget our humanness, our imperfections, our need for one another as covenantal partners, humanity is on the road to destroying itself. Given the current culture, given the shamelessness that is rampant throughout the world, as delineated in a NY Times article this past Wednesday, why worry about AI destroying humankind when We the People seem to rejoice in this action, seem to glad to see another human being(s) suffering, refuse to admit our errors and, in true Goebbels fashion, blame ‘them’ and accuse ‘them’ for the things we are guilty of!

Way too many Jews and non-Jews are rejoicing as if this is the misery they have caused and they rejoice and are glad in it/of it, so acts Jared Kushner, Howard Lutnick, people sitting next to you in Shul tonight and tomorrow, Trump, Vance, Thiel, et al. Kushner is such a selfish prick, Saudi Arabia the country that helped him get started after his first disastrous business failure with real estate in NYC and had to have Qatar bail him out because he was the son-in-law of President Trump, cannot even stand up for them to get them the aid they need in fighting the Houthi’s! What people are you standing idly by as they are being hunted, wounded, imprisoned just because an asshole doesn’t like them, because the masked brown, oops I mean black shirts want to kill them, want to make them suffer in lockups that are unsanitary, etc and deny them the protections of our laws?

Today is the Day Adonai has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it! I will because it forces me to hit the reset button, to deny the lies I have told myself, to open up and lift up my eyes to see the new and ridiculous ways I have engaged in that major disease of self-deception. It is the Day for me to re-covenant with God, it is the day for me to renew connection with authenticity, with my soul, with my intuitive mind, and once again relegate my rational mind to its proper place, a servant. Today is the Day I rejoice in seeing the whole me, seeing and hugging the pure soul and ‘seeing’ the path Adonai has laid out for me this year. It is the Day I get to be totally AT ONE MENT with self, with Adonai and with the people in the community that are willing to open themselves up to truth, to authenticity, to the real. THIS IS THE DAY ADONAI HAS MADE AND I WILL REJOICE IN IT!

God Bless and Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 129

As part of a practice of Forgiveness is granting forgiveness to those who come and ask for it! God grants forgiveness after the Golden Calf, after the spies experience, to David, and desires to forgive the entire People of both the Northern kingdom and Judea if only they would ask for it, would return to Godly actions, etc. So, when someone comes to any of We the People, and is sincere in their asking for forgiveness, who are we to not forgive? Since both Moses and Micah remind us that our obligation is: “do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with God”, it seems pretty obvious that We the People are commanded to forgive when asked.

I keep repeating “when asked” because I believe the tradition, especially the prophets, teach us that forgiveness is not to be granted without a sincere T’Shuvah, an authentic awareness of the harms one has brought, a realistic plan on how to both restore the dignity and anything else that was taken from the individual and have a plan on how not to repeat this action, and a desire to resew the fabric of the relationship. It is crucial, as I read the Bible, the prophets, to believe in the spirit of another human being, to believe and honor the dignity of another human being by allowing them to come to the realization that they need to do T’Shuvah. Now, having said this, rebuking them, reminding them, letting them know is part of the holiness code, so we can help them have this authentic awareness of the harm, the hurt, the power of their negative actions upon you, upon another.

AND it is not within our power nor right to forgive someone without their seeking it because then We the People are saying they are not human enough, they are not dignified enough, they are not worthy enough to be treated as We the People should be treating ourselves-as people who have a practice of T’Shuvah, a practice of forgiveness. While there are faiths that allow for forgiveness to be given by a clergy as a representative of God, Judaism calls for We the People to do the work and Yom Kippur represents the culmination of the work of T’Shuvah, of forgiveness by coming to God, and, just as prior to Passover, using the day and the confessionals to root out whatever schmutz, whatever leaven, whatever resentments, whatever forgiveness we have not given, whatever forgiveness we have not sought. This is the true power of Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur I believe.

While most Jews in the Pews are not doing this, while most Jews in the Pews don’t have a practice of T’Shuvah, a practice of Forgiveness, We the People having one is not being a frayer, a schmuck, it is fulfilling one of the basic needs of human beings, a way to repair our imperfect actions, a way to return to our community, a way to stop ghosting God, ghosting Self, ghosting family, friends… This practice of granting forgiveness is actually a return to the soul we are created to be, a return to an authentic awareness of that which is, a return to a state of bliss, of connection with oneself, with God, with humanity. While there are people we will not like, maybe even hate, the hatred will not poison us, the not liking will serve as a reminder of who and what We the People are choosing NOT TO BE.

So, what do we do with the people who have not come to us for forgiveness, with the people we have sought forgiveness from and they refused, and/or they made it 100% our ‘fault’? The program of Alcoholics Anonymous says: “pray for them, pray for them everything you want for yourself”. I say there is a difference between forgiveness and ridding ourselves of resentment. I don’t need to resent those who have forgotten the harm they have done to me, I don’t need to resent the people who blame me for all the ills of a situation, I don’t need to resent the people who exiled me. I have learned that these resentments, which I used to carry, especially in my pre-recovery, pre-return days and into my recovery, have dissipated very quickly when they arise in the past 10+ years. The path to letting go of these resentments is a path that Dr. Susannah Heschel spoke about when she was at Beit T’Shuvah: see the person as pathetic-giving them the Divine Pathos God feels for them, “isn’t it sad that she/he/they is/are so stuck?” So stuck they can’t see nor do T’Shuvah for the harms they are still doing. Living into this divine pathos has made me a better human being, a better husband, father, uncle, sibling, friend and my commitment is to do more in 5787!

ACTION STEP:

See whom you need to grant forgiveness to and who you need to let go of your resentments toward.

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Stop Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 128

Continuing on the theme of forgiveness, I want to address a few of the other fears that seem to keep We the People from engaging in asking for it. The fear of being known and the fear of being judged are two fears that we the people have hidden from, just like our ancestors Adam and Eve. God is calling out Ayecha-where are you and because of our fear of being known, being judged, We the People stay hidden, keep divorcing ourselves from the soul that has been placed in us, the person we are created to be, the holiness that abides in our guts. The words that keep rolling around in the heads of many of We the People are: “I can’t let them know who I really am-they will not accept me” and other variations on this theme. What we the people keep forgetting is the other person is thinking the same thing, ergo: no one is real, no one is truly known, no one is being judged in truth nor in righteousness, and no one is really connected.

I believe this is one of the reasons that T’Shuvah is called one of God’s greatest miracles by Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel because it flips the script that society has written about hiding, it flips the script on the actions of Adam, Eve, Jacob, et al in the Bible who hide, it allows We the People to live in wonder, awe, radical amazement because We the People witness the miracle of forgiveness, the miracle of return, the miracle of re-sewing the fabric of our connection to one another, to God, to community in wholeness, in truth, in transparency. And, this is against the “norms” of society. I feel the blood pulsing through my veins as I think about all the ways a practice of asking for forgiveness changes the way we live, the way we think, the things we can no longer accept within ourselves falseness, pettiness, excessive pride, betrayal of self and another, acting presumptuously, violence, negative self-talk, being stiff-necked, etc. Having a forgiveness practice forces We the People to “lift up our eyes and SEE”, what is authentic and what is not, the ways in which we act wittingly and unwittingly to do good or not good, the ideas that we keep cultivating that no longer apply to who we are today, the negative voices of our youth, of the people, well-meaning and not well-meaning, who lied to about us to have power and control.

This forgiveness practice doesn’t let them off the hook! It allows for self-forgiveness, it lets We the People off the hook and ends the tape in our heads that have been on an endless loop seemingly forever. This forgiveness practice also allows for we the people to end our hatred, our antagonism towards the people who were well-meaning and those who were not well-meaning. It is a practice of letting go of resentments and angers that DO NOT SERVE US anymore, if they ever did. This practice of forgiveness allows we the people to keep our side of the street clean, gives us the impetus and knowing of what We the People need to change in the ways we are living. It is a practice of discerning truth from mendacity, facts from fiction/alternative facts, and of no longer allowing the bullies to have their way just because of fear.

The judging of self is a GIFT, the being known for who one truly is, is a BLESSING! Yet, we the people keep being afraid of this gift and this blessing because people will use this against us, people will use our vulnerabilities against another human being for control, power, greed, etc and this is M.Scott Peck’s, author of the Road Less Travelled definition of evil! It is evil to stop the authentic expression of a person and it is this ‘evil’ that We the People have to forgive ourselves for, both the ways we impeded the authentic expression of another(s) and the authentic expression of self. It is also WAY PAST TIME for We the People to embrace Being Known and Being Judged for our good and to have the help the Bible, in the holiness code, calls for to rebuke your neighbor and not stand idly by the blood of your brother. We the People are our brother’s keeper and this is the T’Shuvah for Cain’s actions.

I am seeking your forgiveness for the times and/or your experience of my harshness, my abruptness made it impossible to hear the message of love, concern, urgency for your well-being. I am seeking your forgiveness for the times  in which my inner explosions at what I felt were injustices, mendacities, taking advantage of another(s) created panic, fear in you. I am asking for forgiveness for the actions that have made it so difficult to forgive me, the reasons you may have for putting me in Cherum, in exile. I am asking for forgiveness for the times of my inattentiveness to your needs, to not hearing your calls, to not seeing you for whom you are. I am free of resentments because of my practice of forgiveness, I am free of the prison of self-hatred, self-flagellation, I am realizing more and more each day that I have something to offer in this ‘next chapter’ and I forgive myself for taking so long to get into action. More will be revealed on this ‘next chapter’ in the coming days/weeks.

ACTION STEP:

Begin an outline of what a practice of forgiveness is for you

Start with self and another human being to seek forgiveness from

Write down the experience of seeking self-forgiveness and forgiveness from another

GOD BLESS, STOP GHOSTING GOD, STOP GHOSTING SELF, Rabbi Mark

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Ghosting God, Ghosting Self

Day 127

Last night I had the honor and pleasure of learning with my dear friend Rabbi Ed Feinstein. We had the finale of our 3 part series on: “Can We Change? Heschel, T’shuvah, and Beginning Again”. Last evening/afternoon, depending on which time zone one lives in, we had a conversation about forgiveness. This is one of the most important aspects of T’Shuvah, of course, and of being human. Without forgiveness, no one can live, on Sunday night and Monday we are going to be, supposedly, asking God to forgive us- hence how can we not ask one another for forgiveness? Yet, asking for forgiveness with and in sincerity is rare, both in our tradition, throughout history, and, certainly, in today’s world. Besides going through the motions, going to Synagogue looking good for the neighbors, keeping up a facade, seeing people you haven’t seen since last Yom Kippur, making sure your Country Club friends see you, why are you going to services? How can you stand in front of the Ark, kiss the Torah, say the words on the holiest day in the Jewish Calendar and put no meaning, no authenticity, no truth into practice on HaYom, This Day?

This is the issue facing all of we the people today and everyday. Hence, I believe We the People have to begin with forgiveness and begin NOW! The spiritual forces of the Universe are emanating forgiveness, courage, hope, new beginnings so this moment is overflowing with support for seeking of forgiveness. Why is it so difficult to truly ask for forgiveness rather than just get the heat off? What prevents we the people from admitting our errors and foibles? What makes it so easy to ignore the truth and meaning behind the words of the Ashamnu prayer? FEAR! FEAR of being seen, FEAR of being known, FEAR of being judged, FEAR of being vulnerable, FEAR of being seen as ‘less than’, FEAR of being ‘out of the club’, FEAR of breaking some code, FEAR of ….

“The Truth will Set You Free” according to Jesus in John 8:32, we say Adonai Emet, God is Truth in the Jewish Tradition, yet, both Christians and Jews find it so hard to see their behaviors in the light of the harms they cause, see their foibles as hurting some one else, and if they ‘confess’ at all, it is in secret to the priest, the minister, the Rabbi. The Bible, however, calls for public confession, using offerings to draw near to God again after screwing up, and now We the People do T’Shuvah and make restitution to the person, give Tzedakah, and believe our prayers will draw us nearer to the Ineffable One, to the person whom we have harmed and to our authentic self. It has to be public, the reason for the many confessionals on Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur, so another person can derive strength from knowing they are not alone in their screw ups, that everyone does some form of missing the mark in all of the major categories, and joining one’s voice with the cacophony of music, the calls of truth, asking for forgiveness, makes it possible for one to feel part of rather than apart from the ‘other sinners’ in the congregation.

The FEAR of being seen is, I believe, one of the biggest reasons We the People find it so difficult to ask for forgiveness. We have put up a facade for so long, we have lived a false script implanted in our early years by parents, grandparents, teachers, friends, society, that We the People have come to believe this false script is real! And at the same time, thinking that these ‘friends’ would walk away if they knew who I really was. This conundrum has baffled we the people forever which is why the Prophets keep reminding us that God takes us back in love, God heals our backsliding, God wants our return as our prayers remind us. However, until we the people make the difficult choice to live in truth, there is no way to ask for nor receive forgiveness. At issue for most of we the people is once we are seen for who we are, good and not so good, there is no turning back, we can never hide from this person again and that makes many of we the people very uncomfortable. More tomorrow!

Once I realized how hidden I had been-not so much from another for any great length of time-from ME, I cried, I wept, I sobbed, I beat my breast, I made a commitment to change, to stop hiding, to confess publicly and loudly-too loudly for many:)! I have been seeking, asking for, forgiveness since the month of Elul in 1987 when Rabbi Mel Silverman taught me about T’Shuvah, when Rabbi Heschel taught me that “the greatest miracle is Repentance” and without forgiveness, I can’t move forward in my life- I don’t need it granted by another, I do, however, have to seek it. I seek it in the areas where I am the most embarrassed by my errors, I am asking for it even as I write this. I am NO LONGER afraid to be seen and have not been for years-this didn’t happen overnight, I have found times when I was hidden and only realize it in hindsight. I am re-covenanting with you, with God, with self to NOT HIDE-no matter how it makes me look!

ACTION STEP:

Make a list of the forgiveness’ you NEED to seek and ask for the people for it

God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark