Ghosting God, Ghosting Self
Day 116
Staying on misappropriation, We the People are being called to understand it is crucial to make a plan as to how to use our time, our wealth, our energy, really every resource we have. Am understanding the way of the prayer a little differently right now, once we establish We the People are guilty, with these last two ‘sins’, we the people can get into the myriad of subtle and not-so-subtle ways We the People are guilty and of what, how, when we are guilty.
Upon arising, We the People give gratitude for another day, or at least that is what we are ‘supposed’ to do according to the Rabbis and it is GOOD for the SOUL to do this. Then what? Some will say we wash our hands, eyes, etc and then begin to meditate so we can prayer with intention. Another(s) will say, wash up and eat something, read some spiritual texts to get our intentions correct, still another(s) will say: awake, wash up, eat your breakfast, talk with your spouse, significant other, kids, then go to work. There are a lot of formulas for what We the People can do upon awakening. As I hear the words of this prayer in this moment, Gazalnu, comes to remind me that without a set routine, without a path to getting my being into the moment, I will be lost and flailing for the entire day-I may get shit done, it may even be important shit, it will be done with a misappropriation of energy, time, money, etc. I know this to be true because I have suffered from this experience TOO MANY TIMES!! Talk about not learning from one’s mistakes!
The routine that makes me the best I can be in the moment is: Wake up, say the Modeh Ani(gratitude prayer), make coffee, do my games to wake up my brain and get my eye/brain coordination in working order, do the Crossword of the NY Times, read the News Headlines, sit down to write. I am more keenly aware of not misusing my energy and time as I get older and I realize that I am still falling short. I spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME on my devices, I do not exercise enough, I have to not misappropriate the food my needs as opposed to the food I want. I obsess over the things I have no power to change and keep searching for ways to change the things I should. Looking at myself and this prayer is causing me to re-think and find a new plan of action to lessen my misappropriations which always leads to the lies I tell myself and the obliviousness of my existence!
Immersing ourselves in this ‘sin’ gives we the people the experience of asking “what are the important activities of my living”, “what is my plan to let go of the extraneous bullshit that I engage in which stops me from these important activities”. “How is my misappropriation of time and energy keeping me away from fulfilling my purpose, my calling, my soul’s joyousness, my intuitive mind’s knowing?” When We the People ask these questions, we find ways to “return again” to our proper place, we find the necessary actions to end our misappropriations. It is so important to realize the societal norms that push us into the ‘sin’ of misappropriation also. Without doing this step, it just seems ridiculous to delve this deeply into these subtlety disastrous behavior! Without being “maladjusted to” societal norms and mental cliches, as Rabbi Heschel exhorts us to be, what I am writing about could very well seem like the ravings of a lunatic-I get it.
When I was young, I would rave about the misappropriation of money, time, energy, etc happening in the world around me and the world in general and people would tell me “children should be seen and not heard”, my mother shushing me is a vivid memory-not to say I was in any way appropriate, mind you. I was maladjusted and had not heard, read, nor been supported by Rabbi Heschel in those days. I believe the societal norms that my father, z”l, was adjusted to, sort of, hastened his death.
Money is a BIG misappropriation, when I was young, “if you had money you were somebody, if you didn’t, you were nobody” was the belief, now this belief is on steroids and being played out all over the world. We the People have allowed the misappropriation of money to run and ruin our lives. We have made the rich and famous idols, we have elected them to the Highest Offices in our Land and are watching them misappropriate their energy to getting richer, being more cruel and meaner, hating the stranger, kicking the poor and the needy, while they claim to be “fine christian nationalist men and women”, “observant and Torah studying Jews”, “devout followers of Islam and Mohammed’s call for peace”! AND, the question in front of all of we the people in this moment is: Do you misappropriate your money by spending too much on things you don’t need to impress people you don’t like? Are you hoarding your money like a miser and not doing Tzedakah? Have you spent way too much time on stupid shit and not attended to the call of your soul? What are the ways, things, energies, etc you engage in misappropriation? These are the ACTION STEPS-answering them for yourself, I know I am much better about money-giving away 12% of our income, not spending frivolously, better about time management and not so good still about devices, exercise, etc.
God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Stop Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark