Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Day 8
“To live only on that which we can say is to wallow in the dust, instead of digging up the soil. How shall we ignore the mystery, in which we are involved, to which we are attached by our very existence?”(Man is Not Alone pg.16)
Oy! I am overcome with grief right now for all the times I have “wallowed in the dust”. Humankind spends so much time using language to sell one another on some idea, we don’t realize how much we are wallowing in the dust.
Most of us spend our entire waking hours either using or searching for the right words to use to get a message across that will benefit ourselves and, possibly, another human being. We are bombarded with this dust each and every day from politicians, to news commentators; from parents, to children; from bosses, to employees; from our mouths to our ears. Words have become so plentiful and meaningless that we are in the midst of a dust storm of epic proportions. The dust bowl of the 1930’s pales in comparison as I am understanding these words of Rabbi Heschel. We spend so much time thinking of the ‘right’ words to say in order to get what we want that we have forgotten to even realize that which we need: to be rooted in reality and the Ineffable. We are so blinded by the dust storm we have created that we have forgotten where we are: involved in the mystery of life. Words are not all bad, however. We need words to point to the mystery, the abstract nature of being, the unique piece of land for us to begin our digging of the soil there. The issue that Rabbi Heschel is bringing up, I believe, is that we have become so reliant on words, so used to explaining everything, we have lost our way. We keep building more and heavier dust storms with our words rather than digging up the soil, quietly, nobly, courageously and in concert with the Ineffable.
Digging up the soil entails a recognition that there is more to the world than what I can explain. Digging up the soil is the action of seeking to go beyond our poor attempts at explaining how the world works, how life is determined, etc. Digging up the soil is the work it takes to let go of our old ideas, our need to know, our ridiculous belief in “if you can’t explain it, if you can’t prove it, then you are wrong”. Digging up the soil is the releasing of the dumb maxims we have come up with; ‘if you do it for one you have to do it for all, on advice of counsel, having a uniform code and way to fulfill that code, etc’. All of these and so many more ‘rules to live’ hamper and cripple the truth of our being.
We are hardwired for mystery. We are deeply involved in the mystery called life. None of us can explain fully and completely how the “black hole” came about. None of us can explain fully and completely how/why this sperm and this egg met at this time and formed a fetus, etc. None of us can fully and completely explain why this soil is better for this plant/tree and that soil is better for that vegetable. None of us can fully and completely explain love and what lights up the heart of one person and not another. None of us can fully and completely explain the reason we wake up in the morning and another doesn’t. We are hardwired for mystery, we are attached to the mystery of the universe and the mystery that is the Ineffable. We do ourselves a disservice by continuing to be blinded by the dust of our words/explanations and missing the beauty and wonder, awe and joy of the mystery we are attached to.
In recovery, we are so aware of the mystery and the dust. We began our recovery by ‘taking the cotton out of our ears and putting it in our mouths’, as they like to say in AA. While I don’t fully subscribe to this theory, I believe what it is saying is: stop trying to explain, stop trying to use words that are inadequate to rationalize the irrational, our previous behaviors. Stop talking, start listening to the words and the pauses of another who understands your past and can point you to a future that you desire and never thought possible. In recovery, we have a “spiritual awakening” and begin to acknowledge that there is a power greater than me in the universe. Early on in our recovery, we let go of the lie that we are all-powerful and need to explain or have explained exactly how life works. Rather we come to understand that life is and our responsibility is to be involved in the mystery and dig up the soil of our corner of the world and allow the mystery, the Ineffable to water our roots and engage in the growing without needing to understand nor explain how we are growing.
Early on in my life, I would say, “No, you don’t understand me”. I had a speech impediment and I always felt embarrassed and misunderstood. I used to go sit in the Chapel at my Temple and cry out to God without fear, with my messing up my ‘r’s’, etc. because I felt the warmth of being known, seen and accepted. As I grew up and my speech was corrected, I bought into the lie of society that everything could and should be explained, otherwise it was useless. I used words to explain lies, cons, schemes and scams. I still believed that people did not understand me. Reading these sentences again, I realize that I was/am asking the impossible. I am hoping that the people who create dust storms will see the roots of my being through the dust they and I have created. It is impossible. I realize I put my hope in people who just can’t accept the mystery we are involved in and attached to. My last 32+ years have been connecting to the mystery and helping another(s) attach to theirs. God Bless and Stay safe, Rabbi Mark