Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Day 5
“Wonder is a state of mind in which we do not look at reality through the latticework of our memorized knowledge; in which nothing is taken for granted.” (Man is Not Alone pg.12).
There are moments, experiences, sentences, ideas that stay with us because of their armor crashing, inner reverberating, trembling awesomeness, etc. This sentence is one of these! Of course, anyone who knows me will say that I believe most of what Rabbi Heschel writes and teaches contain these attributes for me and they are correct. I believe all of us can have an AHA moment, an experience of being recognized, validation of what we know in our soul that we have denied with our intellect.
Living in wonder, Rabbi Heschel is teaching us, means we cannot rely on our memorized knowledge to explain this moment. We can’t rely on our memorized knowledge to respond to this moment. OMG! We are living in a time, as in all times, where intellect is revered and spiritual knowledge and wonder are thought of as ‘willy-nilly’. Even our “spiritual leaders” are preaching and teaching memorized knowledge which leads to the stultifying of the Spiritual Values that God has given to us. When we hear about the “good old days” or “returning our country to our Christian Values”, we are hearing people who refuse to live in wonder and are using religion and spirituality as a vehicle for their own power. We, the people listening to these charlatans, have to not fall into the euphoric thinking that comes from seeing reality through the “latticework of memorized knowledge”.
The use of the word, latticework, is interesting to me. I understand Rabbi Heschel’s use of it to remind us that memory is never clear and crisp, it can’t be because it is memory. Using the word latticework is a fantastic descriptor of how memory works. There are many open spaces in a latticework and there are many pieces of wood, etc. that block a clear and open view of what we are looking at. I am thinking of the Japanese movie, Rashamon. The film is known for a plot device that involves various characters providing subjective, alternative and contradictory versions of the same incident. This is what happens when we see reality, the here and now, through the latticework of memorized knowledge. We are providing to ourselves contradictory, alternative and subjective versions of what happened before and apply this narrow view to what is going on right now. We can never get a true vision of what is when we are seeing everything through old eyes, old visions and only through partial visions. Using memorized knowledge leads to seeing things not as they are, rather as we think they were and having our vision partially obscured by the latticework that we see through.
When we take nothing for granted, we are no longer using memorized knowledge to see, experience and respond to reality, we are using wonder, awe, spirit to respond, experience and see what truly is. In his interview with Carl Stern, Rabbi Heschel explains “I’ve learned from the prophets that I have to be involved in the affairs of man, in the affairs of the suffering man.” I believe this is Rabbi Heschel’s teaching us how to respond to reality with and in the state of wonder. He did not use wonder to say everything is fine, his living in the state of wonder allowed/forced him to see what was good and not good about the reality of the world around him and to speak up, actively work to change things and spread the message of hope, love, kindness and strength to all who would listen. I think of Robert Kennedy’s statement: “Some men see things as they are and say, why; I dream things that never were and say, why not.” We have the same call in our soul, the same opportunity to see new each and every day, hour, moment. We cannot do this when see through the latticework of memorized knowledge.
In recovery we are dedicated to letting go the euphoria of the latticework of memorized knowledge. Our addictions to substances and processes; our acceptance of the different labels that are put on us, ie depressive, anxious; using net worth to determine self-worth; living in the good old days of ___; all lead us astray because we never remember things clearly, we are always making past experiences better than they were or worse than they were. In recovery, we take down the latticework to see as clear a picture of the past as we can and “we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it” from the promises of AA.
Every big error I have made in the past 34+ years has come from being in the latticework of memorized knowledge. Immersing myself in this sentence, I am aware that my recent experiences are the direct result of taking things for granted and seeing myself and reality through latticework which partially blinded me to what was happening and to my own willful blindness. Living in wonder is how I have attained all the good I have in my life: the love of my amazing wife, daughter, grandson, siblings, nieces, nephews, friends; the respect of some colleagues; the gratitude of some people I/we have helped along the way, etc. The realization of my being in memorized knowledge, of taking for granted that I belonged in my space was/is sad and it is no longer debilitating, it was hard to understand and I am moving forward instead of being stuck. Letting go of taking things for granted allows me to appreciate and respond to life so much more. Stay safe and God Bless, Rabbi Mark