Weekly Parashah- VaY’Chi VaY’Chi is the last portion of the book of Genesis. It translates to ‘and he lived’ giving us a hint that the Parashah will be about death. Here, we learn that Jacob is about to die and by the end of the Parashah, the generation of the sons will also have died. It is a Parashah of reconciliation in many ways and is one of many questions for me.
Rashi, who I almost never quote, gives an interesting explanation of why this Parashah begins in the middle of a paragraph. He says that once Jacob died, “the eyes and hearts of Israel were blocked up by the distress of the enslavement they began to undergo.” WOW, I saw this earlier in my study of the Parashah this week and in past years and at this moment, I finally understand the brothers’ concern at the end of the Parashah. They were aware that Israel was and/or was going to be enslaved in Egypt by the Egyptians and maybe Joseph was too blind, arrogant to see what was coming. I understand both the brothers’ concerns/fears and Joseph’s blindness. Joseph was sure that the Pharaoh would protect him and he would be grateful to Joseph for saving Egypt and making him richer. He thought he had enough Spiritual Capital and Emotional Capital in the bank to protect him and his brothers. Many of us who do good things, create/build companies and organizations that are innovative and helpful believe we build up enough Spiritual and Emotional Capital to overcome the blips of our own errors and the jealousies and pettiness of others. WRONG! All we have to do is look at Steve Jobs being fired from Apple to know this. I have seen it happen in the Rabbinate many times. I am also guilty of this type of thinking myself. I became enslaved to a way of being that made me both blind and arrogant. I believed the good will I had built up from good works would protect me from my own errors. I believed that since everyone knew me for me, I would not become a relic in my own place. I was blind to the changes in the organization, I was blind to the enemies I had created, I was blind to the stress I was under, I was blind to the assault on my dignity. I was blind to my own emotional and spiritual volcano that was about to erupt. I was blind to my needing to move to the next chapter and the organization needing/wanting me to move on also. I was already enslaved and did not fully recognize it, the Board of the organization did and didn’t know how to talk to me about it and I put bullets in everyone else’s guns, believing those that knew me would “have my back” and they probably believe they have. I was blind and arrogant to believe this and I see this now, through the eyes of Rashi, Jacob and Torah. Another example of how Torah is a living document, dynamic, wise and gives great guidance!
Jacob reconciles with Joseph at the beginning of this Parashah through a request and an oath. I have always believed, and still do, that the oath was because Jacob did not fully trust that Joseph did not harbor anger towards Jacob for sending him to check on his brothers which led to where they all were now. I also see how Jacob was reconciling with Joseph by saying your word is trustworthy to me. Your word to me is your bond and I am entrusting my end of life decisions to you. In some ways, this is the first Advance Directive we hear about in Torah. It also is a time for Joseph to give his father some peace of mind and spirit which he does. This is how Joseph reconciles with Jacob also.
The brothers’ tell Joseph a story, which may or may not be true, about their father’s concern regarding retribution. Here, Joseph reassures them that God caused this whole experience and they were just agents of God. He also asks them to take an oath to bring his bones up to Israel when they leave Egypt. He believes them when they give him their pledge. This is how each of them reconcile with each other. This is an important aspect of reconciliation. In recovery part of the 9th step amends is to lay out a plan not to repeat the harm we are making amends for. In T’Shuvah, we also have a plan not to go back down the path that leads us to harm another person. In both cases, there is an aspect of a pledge. As a newly released convict and person in recovery, I remember making these T’Shuvot and oaths to Heather, my daughter; my brothers and sister, Stuart, Neal and Sheri; my mother Millie and to the other people I had harmed. My sincerity and their openness allowed for the reconciliation that helped me leave the slavery of my addictions and the slavery of blindness and arrogance to this day. Of course my wife Harriet helps me with blindness and arrogance each and every day as well. What are you still blind to and arrogant about? Whom do you still need to reconcile with and how are you honoring your past reconciliations? As we head into 2021, what oaths do you need to rescind, what oaths do you need to renew and what oaths do you need to make? Shabbat Shalom, Rabbi Mark