Weekly Parashah - VaYera
This week’s Parashah is VaYera, which translates to God appeared. It also can mean that God caused Godself to appear to Abraham. A third way of understanding is that Abraham had to be in a passive state to experience the appearance of God. I was studying this with Rabbi Brandon Bernstein and Rabbi Joseph Shamash this week and I am so grateful to learn with both of these bright young Rabbis.
What is the big deal about this word, you might ask? I will tell you-first of all it is the name of the Parashah and the names of the Parashah usually points to something-at least for me:) Secondly, the way we translate impacts the meaning of the verse and, possibly, how we see the context of the entire Parashah. Thirdly, to immerse myself in the text as Rabbi Heschel teaches us to do, I get to see more and more of the depth of the text through understanding the different ways the words can be and are used. I want to look at this experience through the rest of the Parashah as well.
God appeared to Abraham takes nothing on Abraham’s part. He is sitting in the doorway of his tent and, poof, God appears. It is so uneventful that Abraham looks up and sees three men approaching. Yes, these three men are Angels sent by God so one could say that this is the way God appeared and Abraham responded appropriately. I see this in a different light this year. God appears to Abraham and he is not even aware of God being there! How often has this happened to any of us. I am thinking about all the times God has appeared to me and I have been unaware of this experience. Writing this sentence makes me sad and wanting to cry. I am seeing how “busy” I was, too “busy” to notice the appearance of God and I am trembling. As I think of Rabbi Heschel’s exhortations to experience another Human Being as a Divine Reminder and I think of how many times I have seen some humans as enemies that have to be conquered and defeated. I am realizing how my stubbornness helped many and hurt some. It is so hard to be aware of all the appearances God makes in our life! This unawareness, however, causes us to stay stuck wherever we are, rather than grow and use the appearance of God to better our lives and the lives of others. Again, this is not about perfection, it is about finding ways to be more aware. This is why I take so many pictures of nature here in the Desert. I am staying aware of God’s appearance through nature. It is why I keep praying to build up my internal awareness meter of what is-not continuing to see only what I want life to be. The three men in this scenario of mine represent God’s successful attempt to get Abraham’s attention. This unawareness plays out throughout the Parashah, however. Abraham is unaware of how his wife, Sarah, feels or will be treated when he gives her to Abimelech! This is his second time, pimping his wife to save his own life. Abimelech is more attuned to God’s appearance and acts on it than Abraham is. Yes, earlier Abraham argued for Sodom and Gemorrah, mainly because his nephew and family were there I believe, yet even that encounter could not impact him enough to save his wife this shame nor hear the cry of his second wife Hagar and his first son Ishmael and fight with them. He could argue with God for strangers in Sodom (and his nephew), yet not for his first born son and Sarah’s son, Isaac? This is what happens when we don’t allow the appearance of God to impact our being-ness. How are you allowing the appearance of God to impact your living today and tomorrows?
In the second understanding of VaYera, God caused Godself to appear to Abraham, I see God as an active participant in this relationship. More active that the first because there is no doubt that Abraham is going to have the experience of God’s appearance. This is, in my experience, God’s concern for humans. While my friend and teacher, Rabbi Igael Gurin-Malous believes that God doesn’t “give a shit” in his words, I believe that God cares deeply about humans. Understanding the text in this way is an experience that I have had and changed my life forever. I had it when I was arrested 34 years ago and did not want to get bailed out of jail for the first time in my life. God put words in my mouth and caused me to follow through with them and, 34 years later, I am so grateful and, I believe that the impact of God’s causing Godself to appear to me changed my corner of the world and me for profoundly. I get to take this experience with me in all of my affairs. The experience was so real and strong, so enlightening and illuminating, and gave me a hunger and thirst for learning and living that has not ceased. The impact of this forceful intervention was and is my desire to keep growing along spiritual lines as the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says. It also made me seek out teachers and guides that I still do today. They, in turn, have helped me have more recognition of when God is forcing God’s appearance to me and be more active in my life. It also gives me pause to look at the message that God is giving me and how much God cares for me and for everyone. I become overwhelmed with gratitude and joy and responsibility. An example of God doing this was, of course, when God appeared to Abraham and spoke about Sodom. Abraham stood up for humanity and to God. WOW, what a moment. Yet, he was unable to with Ishmael and Isaac. He even was unable to hear the cry of his first wife Sarah. He did not allow the forcefulness of God’s appearance to connect with Sarah after Hagar left. How sad! I think of how many times God forcing Godself to appear to me I have blown off and/or did not cultivate through my actions. This is what walking in God’s ways means to me today. After this forceful appearance, I Covenant with God to continue to walk in God’s ways a little more often and a little deeper.
Finally, for this year, in studying with Rabbi Joseph this week, I realized that I have to be in a passive, open state to truly experience God’s appearance. I am in this state every morning when we go walking and I am so aware of nature. Passive here is not dong nothing or bowing down or meditating for me-rather it is the state of openness to learning, taking in new experiences and Radical Amazement/wonder. I can be in action when doing this, I just can’t be sure of that I know. I am able to learn when I am open to it, and to be open to it. I have to be in a state of being okay with myself as I am, I have to be in a state of welcoming what is and be immersed in the experience rather than trying to make an experience or trying to control the experience God has created for me. I am recommitting to these three responses to God’s appearing to me and I commit to hear others’ experience of God appearing to them with more openness and excitement. Shabbat Shalom, Rabbi Mark