This week’s Parashah is Toldot. We learn the lineage of Isaac in this week’s Torah Portion. I love this Parashah because when I read it in Prison, in 1986, I found hope that I was not the only con, liar, thief and cheat in Jewish History:) Of course I knew this, yet reading about Jacob’s trickery gave me hope that I could change and I saw a good life as possible and doable. This revelation has sustained me throughout these 34 years of changing.
As I was studying this Parashah with my friend and teacher, Rabbi Brandon Bernstein, he pointed out to me the 2nd Chapter of this Parashah and we studied it together. As with Abraham, there is a famine in the land and Isaac leaves Canaan to go to Gerar. “Appeared to him, Adonai, and Adonai saying Do not go down to Egypt, dwell in the land which I tell you. Reside in this land and I will bless you… Isaac dwelt in Gerar”. (Gen. 26:2-3, 6) We spoke about the use of the word, appear, this is the same word used in the Parashah VaYera from 2 weeks ago. Isaac had a different relationship with Adonai than Abraham as Isaac prayed for his wife to conceive and she did. Here, Adonai is, I believe, fearful for Isaac to be subjected to the evil of Egypt and wants him to stay in a safe place. I am realizing that God appears to all of us in different ways and counsels us as to where our place is and where we should dwell/visit. Yet, we often don’t hear the call and/or understand the message. I think of all the places and times Adonai warned me, through the call of my soul, through the call of others and I disregarded it. I was unable to hear and follow. It is still a challenge for me. Isaac shows us, in these verses what surrender is. He listens! Then he doesn’t. After Adonai appears to him, he then ‘sees’ that he has to lie about who Rebecca is- just like his father did! I understand his fear and don’t understand his fear overriding the connection, promises and words from Adonai.
OH, maybe I do. How often have any of us heard the call, surrendered only to allow our fears and/or desires override the connection, promise and words from Adonai, a trusted advisor, friend, etc.? I have done this and most likely will do this again. What I am learning here is that I don’t have to give in to the fear, I can choose to keep the connection, faith and believe the promise instead of choosing to follow the fear. Abimelech also ‘sees’ and he does heed the call of Adonai. He is angry with Isaac because he and his people could have had guilt on them if they had taken Rebecca to be their wife. What a statement! While one could see this as blaming, I see this as a plea-why do something wrong and entice us to do something wrong because of your lack of faith in us. Isaac, again, did not ‘see’ who the men of Gerar and their King really were. He did not ‘see’ the goodness of the people of Gerar nor did he ‘see’ the wisdom and protection of God. I am writing this in the middle of a new surge of Covid-19 and wonder why so many people choose not to ‘see’ the wisdom of the scientists that comes from Adonai and engage in reckless behaviors. I understand the choice, I am just bewildered by the amount of people making this choice. We are more likely to believe the lie than the truth, as Rabbi Heschel teaches, self-deception is a major disease. I am doing my own inventory of how I have and continue to deceive myself. I ask you to do the same.
Sight plays a major role in the story of Jacob stealing the birthright. Isaac is old and his eyesight is dimming the text teaches us. Is he really unable to see and discern the difference between Jacob and Esau? He knows something is up and he allows himself to be blind to the subtrefuge of Rebecca and Jacob. Isaac’s blindness, real or faked, is the cause of much distress. Isaac not seeing causes Esau such pain. I know that Hazal makes Jacob out to be good and Esau out to be bad and I disagree. “When Esau heard the words of his father, he cried a great and bitter cry” (Gen. 27:34). I am trembling again at the sound of Esau’s cry. He was the son who went out each day and hunted and gathered for the family. He cared for his father deeply and without reserve. He was a man of passion and kindness and he got screwed over by his brother, his mother and his father. It reverberates through me as the cry of a wounded animal who is wounded by his/her owner after years of service. It is the cry of Bilaam’s ass later in the Torah. It is the cry of all of us when we realize we have been betrayed and stolen from by one we trust. It is a cry from deep in Esau’s soul which I can relate to. I have cried that cry and been the one who has caused that cry in another. My brother, Rabbi Neal Borovitz, cried that cry when I betrayed him over and over. My sister cried that cry when I left her in Cleveland and moved to Los Angeles. My daughter cried that cry when I kept going to jail and prison. I have cried that cry when people I trust betray me and the principles I thought we had in common. I am heartbroken for Esau and all the rest of us that have cried that cry.
Esau wants to be blessed by his father. “Have you not reserved a blessing for me?” (Gen. 27:36). How sad that we can’t bless everyone. How sad that we make good guys and bad girls. How sad that we have to be reminded, cajoled, forced into blessing those we have harmed. While Isaac puts it off on Jacob, he is also responsible. As Rabbi Heschel teaches: “In a free society, some are guilty all are responsible.” I understand this as another piece of self-deception. Isaac deceived himself and this led to the deception of Esau. I see how my self-deception led to my betrayal of others. I see how my self-deception led to allowing myself to be betrayed by others.
This week, this year lets all try and ‘see’ better. Let’s leave the life of self-deception and bask in Adonai’s truth. Shabbat Shalom, Rabbi Mark