Leaning into the Teachings of Rabbi Heschel - A Daily Path for Growing Spiritually

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 263

“The effort to restore the dignity of old age will depend upon our ability to revive the equation of old age and wisdom. Wisdom is the substance upon which the inner security of the old will forever depend. But the attainment of wisdom is the work of a life time.”  (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 84)

“Wisdom comes from the Latin “sapienta” meaning “to know, to perceive, to taste, to discern” and Carl Linnaeus chose a variation of this word, sapiens, “for the Latin binomial for human beings”(Wikipedia). “Attainment comes from the Latin meaning “to touch, to arrive at, to manage, etc.” Hence, the last sentence above can be understood as “to arrive at/to touch knowing, discernment, is the work of a lifetime.” The question for all of us is: Is this the work we are engaged in?

Wisdom is not what everyone seems to be searching for, knowing what is right and what isn’t doesn’t seem as important to some as the need to ‘be right’. The need to have power and wealth, the need to control and dominate. By bastardizing and misinterpreting the words of every Spiritual Text, Spiritual discipline, we can find ways to seek everything but wisdom and, throughout history, society has engaged in this pursuit! We are seeing the fruits of this search for anything but wisdom, the arriving at a point where truth and facts don’t matter so much, where conspiracy theories are more relevant to people than what is real and authentic. In the 60+ years since these words were written and delivered, we seem to be losing our ability to “discern, to perceive” what is true and good from the lies and the evil being perpetrated by the ones who promote these conspiracies, like PizzaGate, like Trump being the Messiah, like White Men are supposed to rule, Christian Nationalism is what Christ preached, and other such poppycock. In Israel we are witnessing the lies of the UltraOrthodox taking the country into a hell that is antithetical to everything in the books they revere, Torah, Talmud, Tanakh! Yet, both the Christian Nationalists, the Radical Islamists, the Right-Wing Jews all seem to believe that they can declare what is wisdom and what isn’t. Only they know what God wants, what the spirit calls for us to do and other such lies-hence the inability of society to truly “attain wisdom” because the “work of a lifetime” for people who want control, wealth, power, is not “the attainment of wisdom” it is the attainment of control, wealth, power by any and all means possible.

Those of us “of a certain age” need to stand up for truth, we need to stop hiding and begin “touching” what we “know to be right and true”. We need to use our powers of discernment, our perceptions so we can fully live into being “homo sapiens”, human beings. Without the attainment and the exercise of our “wisdom”, what are we but human doings? Without practicing what we know to be right, what are we but liars and deceivers? This is the challenge of being human, this is the challenge of living to be older adults, this is the challenge of being bound to something greater than ourselves. We teach history to our children and we fail to learn from it ourselves! We promote ‘religion’ to our young children and then tell them, by our actions, that after reaching puberty one doesn’t need it so much because we ‘know’ what is right and wrong. Again, poppycock that we tell ourselves and another because we are more interested in power and control than “the attainment of wisdom”. We send our kids to college to get a job, not to discover themselves, we work hard to control our children so they will be ‘successful’ and we can take credit for their greatness, we have become so lost in our lies and self-deceptions that we have lost sight of what is “wisdom” and what is self-seeking what is “wisdom” and what is our need to be #1. We are suffering from this loss of “wisdom” today in ways that seemed unimaginable after World War II and the rise of authoritarianism is so subtle and strong, promoted by the baseless conspiracy theories of both the far right  and the far left, we need our “older adults” to promote the “attainment of wisdom” that our lifetimes have given and are giving us!

We, the older adults, have to take serious stock of our lives-full stop! We have to stop defending our choices, we have to stop proclaiming our innocence and ‘good intentions’. We have to end our need to control the narrative and speak of what was and what is truthfully. None of us are perfect nor are we supposed to be. Perfection and the shame attributed to making a mistake are societal controls to keep us in perpetual misinformation. They are the ways of the Greek society that crumbled in Antiquity, remember the only society to survive Antiquity intact was the Jewish society. It is now incumbent upon all of us, no matter what faith we practice or don’t practice, to stand up for what our experience has taught us about demagogues, about these authoritarians who proclaim their camaraderie with the ‘masses’ when they are elites who lie to gain control and power. We have to take stock of our errors and learn from them, we have to “proclaim freedom throughout the land and to all its inhabitants there in” especially to ourselves and our children. Being free means “the attainment of wisdom” from our experiences so far in life, it doesn’t mean being tied to the lies of the past, being tied to the bias’ of society, being tied to optics as opposed to truth! We, the “older adults” have to clean up our acts, we have to shout from the rooftops what we know to be true, we have to “touch” our humanity by “being human”. It is always important, as each generation has faced this choice in one way or another and when you are in it, as we are right now, it feels monumental. We have to remember we can rise above our fear of society’s pushback, the long-arm of the authoritarian, the chants of the conspiracy theorists and stand for what is true, what we ‘know in our bones’ and what life as taught us.

Each day that I write and live, I attain more and more wisdom. I have made mistakes, I have learned from them. I have admitted them and taken the abuse and abandonment that some of my errors have resulted in. I no longer am at odds within myself with anyone, there are people with whom I have no desire to interact with and because I know what hatred does, I know I can not hate anyone in my heart as the Bible teaches. I also know that I have an obligation to promote the wisdom I have “attained”-not because it is the end-all/be-all, rather because it is a part of the truth of life and can be used by people younger and older than me to make their lives and our world a little better-for the younger generation, maybe they won’t repeat my mistakes, making their own, and maybe when confronted with similar times and experiences, they will have a different response. I pray for those who dislike me, who have walked away and I reach out to those who feel I walked away from them. The greatest wisdom is to know “You Matter”! God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growing

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 262

“The effort to restore the dignity of old age will depend upon our ability to revive the equation of old age and wisdom. Wisdom is the substance upon which the inner security of the old will forever depend. But the attainment of wisdom is the work of a life time.”  (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 84)

“Wisdom is the substance upon which the inner security of the old will forever depend” strikes at the heart of the challenge of inter-generational dialogue, inter-generational respect and learning, inter-generational covenantal love. Many of us ‘love’ our older relatives as an obligatory action, not with the fervor and excitement to learn from them always. Many of us have felt like it is a burden to ‘visit the old folks’ especially when we could be doing so many cooler activities. Many of us have forced our kids to ‘visit your grandparents’ because our parents nag us to ‘see the grandchildren, they are my only joy in my old age’. Rabbi Heschel’s words above call these ‘obligations’ and these ‘joys’ out for what they are-excuses for and searches for “inner security”. Rather than appreciate the “wisdom” we have to impart, many of us ‘older adults’ are trying to be hip and cool, stuck in old ways and being ‘proper’. Rather than take in the “wisdom” the older generation has to impart to us, we of the ‘younger generation’ want to ‘do it our way, make our own mistakes, etc’; not realizing we are making the same mistakes that generations of people have made.

As we age, our bodies wear down and we don’t have the same stamina we used to have. We cannot do at 70 what we did at 30 and we can do things smarter and be more focused on what is truly important. In our younger years we experimented with all sorts of ideas and ways of being, in our 80’s, 90’s we have the wisdom of these experiences to impart and to hold on to. We want to share it with the younger folks for two reasons: 1) we don’t want them to make the same mistakes we did and suffer the same angst, self-recriminations we did and not perpetrate the same harms we did; and 2) We need to give away what we have so we can keep it and use it, so we can add more wisdom to our inner life and feel the worth and dignity that comes from reaching out and helping another human being.

We are well aware of the harms we have wrought by the time we reach ‘old age’ and our dignity depends on our realization, acknowledging and repairing the damage we have caused. It is a healing of our souls, a healing between us and the people we have harmed and love, it is a manifestation of covenantal love- a love that goes beyond our needs, that goes beyond a transactional experience- a love that is truly for the ages because the thought of this human being not in our lives is too much to take. We have to remember to make amends to our children and our spouses, our siblings and our parents, our friends and our enemies, etc. We do this to restore the dignity to those who’s dignity we stole by harming them and we do this to restore our own dignity and “inner security” by “cleaning our side of the street”. We also are better able to have a truthful and serious discussion with the next generations about behaviors, about things we don’t feel are important and how another human being experiences us, how to show our deep caring and our deep commitment to one another, how to avoid the pitfalls of egotism and narcissism, how to help the next generation think differently, how to help them see more of the picture and how to hale them plan their path to the goals they have. By being this transparent and authentic, we give the ‘young folk’ a new way of being that is “maladjusted to” societal norms and cliches. We are giving them a path to wholeness and being real while and achieving the goals they have set and the goal that the spiritual, universal world has for them: Be Human!

As we age, we are in need of “inner security” as much if not more than when we were younger. While our bodies may be tired and doctor visits are more frequent, what we have in our hearts, our minds, our souls is the only security we have! Knowing what we know and being unafraid to speak our minds, to reach out and help, to rebuke when necessary as a statement of faith that another human being wants to do the next right thing and is just a little stuck/blind to what it is are all ways of expressing our wisdom and feeling secure. This is not the same a “do it my way because I am the only one who knows” bullshit of authoritarians, rather it is our practicing what every spiritual discipline believes: learn from the elders, sit at the feet of the wise and make our homes meeting places for wisdom to flourish, reenacting the command to “Shema” that the young should “hear, listen, and understand” as well as engage in “arguing for the sake of a higher purpose, not to be right”. As we age and we are more in touch with our successes and our “failing forwards”, we have the benefit of not needing to ‘sell’ the younger generation on our wisdom, we have the knowing that we are giving out what we have to give, we gain more and more security as we engage with our younger peers and the security we experience from “knowing what we know” gives us courage and strength to weather the onslaught of arguments and pass on our wisdom without needing anyone else to use it. These are some of the reasons “wisdom is the substance upon with the inner security of the old will forever depend”!

Writing this today reminds me of Saturday afternoons spent at my Grandfather’s tailoring and dry cleaning store. I would take a bus after Temple and go down to his store, he would give me a dollar and I would get 50 cents worth of Corned Beef, a Kaiser Roll and a Cotton Club Cherry-Strawberry Soda and sit with him for the afternoon. He would talk about life and I would listen, we had a deal, 1/2 the time we listened to Opera, he loved Opera so much, and the other half we would listen to sports. To this day, when I hear Opera, I smile and remember those Saturday afternoons with Grandpa B. It also reminds me of my Aunt Nettie who was soft-spoken and didn’t need to yell to prove anything. She spoke and we listened, she asked and we responded, much like we did with my father, her brother. I hear my father’s voice each day reminding me to give away what I know, to not make all of life transactional, I hear his pride in his children and his tears at not being here to help us all grow. I hear my relatives words and I impart their wisdom to younger folks as a way of keeping the wisdom eternal and their lives and impact on me is always a blessing. I know that in this transitional time for me, my “inner wisdom” is “the substance” that gives me “security” and joy, strength, vision and love. God Bless, Rabbi Mark

Leaning into the Teachings of Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel - A Daily Path for Spiritual Growth

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 261

“The effort to restore the dignity of old age will depend upon our ability to revive the equation of old age and wisdom. Wisdom is the substance upon which the inner security of the old will forever depend. But the attainment of wisdom is the work of a life time.”  (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 84)

The first sentence above, delivered 63 years ago is as true today as it was then and, possibly, more urgent now than it was in 1961. It was an interesting time to deliver this talk, January of 1961 before the inauguration of the youngest President ever, John F. Kennedy, especially as his inaugural speech was about the “passing of the torch” to a new generation. We heard these same words from President Joseph R. Biden Jr. who became the first sitting President to not stand for re-election after winning the nomination in the primaries. The oldest and the youngest Presidents both spoke about “passing the Torch” to a new generation and both know/knew the equation between age and wisdom. Barack Obama knew this equation as did George W. Bush-both of whom chose ‘older’ men as their VP’s. Both of whom had them as the last voice in the room before making decisions. Just as President Biden has kept his ‘younger’ counterpart as the last person in the room before he makes his decisions.

It is incumbent upon us older adults “to revive the equation between old age and wisdom”. It is our responsibility to not try and emulate the young, not try so hard to be hip, slick and cool -because most of us already are:)- it is our job to impart the wisdom of our experiences to the next generation. It is our job to give them the best data possible so they can make the most informed decisions possible. This is true as parents beginning when our children can understand more than “because I said so” and is true as employers, supervisors, employees, etc. We all have something to pass on to the next generation and it will only happen if we “revive the equation of old age and wisdom.” This doesn’t mean we have to be ‘old’ to “revive the equation”, it means we have to be open to this revival, we have to stop “throwing the baby out with the bathwater”, we have to realize we are where we are because we are standing on the shoulders of the generational wisdom of our ancestors that gives us a new and higher(hopefully) foundation upon which to build/rebuild our society. This is why “the good old days” is such a deceptive phrase. The “good old days” prior to Kennedy’s Inauguration were about Jim Crow, inequality, restricting the voting rights of non-white people, anti-semetic quotas, etc. - Is this what made America Great??

“To revive the equation of old age and wisdom” means to be in truth about our treatment of one another, it means to see how we have advanced the promise of Declaration of Independence, the promise of the God in the Bible, the promise of the ways of living that the prophets called upon us to live. We, the elders, have to end our self-deceptions, we have to be real about our own failures in advancing these promises, in being selfish and self-seeking in our endeavors and how these paths have led to the destruction of another’s dreams, another’s opportunities, another’s freedom as well as the harm these ways of being have brought to our inner life, to our spiritual being. We have to acknowledge the ways we have failed to be human and the ways we have achieved this goal. “To revive the equation of old age and wisdom” means listening to the younger generation and engaging with them rather than dismissing them or being afraid of them.

In dialoguing with the younger generation, we have the opportunity to use our history and the history of the world and society to impart the lessons we have learned at the “school of hard knocks”. Not everything can be solved by a mathematical equation, not everything can be transmitted electronically, not everything posted on the internet is truth and, as Mark Twain says: “a lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes” and this was before the Internet!! Helping the younger generation discern between truth and lies, helping them live in the nuances of life can only come about when we, the elders, are more interested in helping than defending. When we, the elders, are more interested in making things right than in being right.

It also takes the younger generation to realize and accept that the older generation is doing the best it can, which was true at all times in their existence. No one does less than one can because of the myriad of forces that go into any and all decisions. We need to understand that parental guidance comes from the parenting we received and we all do a little better than our parents, I believe. All of the decisions made, even the ones we disagreed with, like Vietnam, were made with the best intentions of the people making them-no one sends their kids into a war lightly except despots. The majority of our founding fathers did not believe in slavery and knew they could not defeat the British without the Southern colonies so they made a compromise that Lincoln undid and then the “good old days” “good old boys” decided to undo in subtle and not so subtle ways. These errors are the ones we of the older generation have to atone for, because we have allowed these subtle and not so subtle ways of discrimination and non-freedoms prevail in our lifetimes as well. We need the younger generation to let go of their judgmental attitudes and engage in real dialogue without prejudice.

I am thinking of how much wisdom I missed because of the death of my father at such an early age. No matter who reached out to me, and there were many elders who did, I could not hear them through the grief and my desire to keep my father as “my guy”. What did any of them know about me, about my father’s ways when they were his siblings and his contemporaries-how foolish and ignorant of me. My recovery has been about seeking, using, engaging with the ‘older generation’ to learn from them, to argue with the “wisdom of the elders” not to be right, rather to understand. I love the tradition in Judaism of “arguing for the sake of heaven” rather than for the sake of being right. Now, as I am one of the elders, I continue to admit the errors I made and the errors of my generation, the highs and ‘victories’ of my generation as well so the next generations behind us can and will build on the foundation of repairs we made for our errors and the concrete progress we have made. “Old age and wisdom” have given me the vision to see everything in a new light-knowing that every good action I took had a twinge of bad and every bad action I took had a twinge of good- the truest example of both/and we live in. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Leaning into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Regimen for Spiritual Growing

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 260

“We must seek ways to overcome the traumatic fear of being old, the prejudice, the discrimination against those advanced in years. Being old is not necessarily the same as being stale.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 84)

Nearing the end of Rabbi Heschel’s “To Grow in Wisdom”, I am finding all of the ways we didn’t and haven’t paid heed to the issues, the solutions, he offers. “To overcome the traumatic fear of being old” is mostly ignored by both the young and the old! We have substituted “the golden years” for what is truly “being old”. We keep playing pickle ball, golf, taking trips, working out in the gym in order to prove to ourselves that we are not “being old”. We joke about “those old ladies/men” not wanting to see our reflection in them. We are afraid of “the prejudice, the discrimination against those advanced in years” happening to us. We want to keep up with our grandkids not necessarily lead them nor give them our wisdom.

Not being able to do the things that we did when we are younger is a traumatic event. It is fear-producing and people try to avoid facing these truths at all costs. We don’t speak about these traumas, we don’t speak about not being able to do what we used to do. We are afraid of someone “taking away the keys to the car” and being trapped, we are mortified we might need an Independent/Assisted Living situation, we are deathly afraid of being forgotten and tolerated. All of these fears are real, they happen to our next-door neighbor, our relatives, sometimes our own parents, not because we don’t love/like them, rather because we, the young, are in many cases afraid for the safety of our “older” relatives, maybe we don’t want to be bothered with taking care of them and tell ourselves that having them around people of their own age is better for them, etc. Older adults become afraid and insistent they can still take care of themselves, they can still drive, cook, etc not because they necessarily want to, rather so they do not have to face the trauma “of being old”. How sad we have grown these fears since Rabbi Heschel’s paper rather than mitigated them.

It has become more in vogue to hire older people in stores and for them to have forums to learn at like “Elder Hostels” like Road Scholar to keep our minds active, continually learning and experiencing places in the world as a citizen rather than a tourist. We watch the stores fill with ‘hip and cool’ clothes for the ‘elderly’ and then there is the dreaded Health System-Medicare Hell it is called by some. “What is your date of Birth” is the first or second question asked, sometimes before your name! As an older adult you are asked if you have been abused, if you have fallen, etc and while one can make a case for this, it should not be the first questions asked-in the medical system we have lost the fine art of seeing people, especially older adults, as people. People talk louder to older adults because they believe we are hard of hearing, we tell them we have hearing aids and they just nod. We do not have the stamina we had in our younger years-duh- and we don’t recognize the old man’s face that is staring at us in the mirror. All of this and, of course, the natural process of aging, the fear of getting sick, concern over how much we abused our bodies when we were younger, and so much more cause us to experience “the traumatic fear of being old”.

This fear also comes from the prejudice and the discrimination we experience. While spiritual traditions teach reverence for the old, they teach us how to mine those older than us for their wisdom and their guidance, societal norms continue to view old age as a disease! Rather than seeing those “advanced in age” as tremendous resources for how to live well and how to improve on the freedoms and choices we have and make, how to make our world a little better than what we inherited, we discriminate and have prejudice towards older adults because we no longer see their value, we no longer believe they can be productive, we believe they are “stale”! In the world today, as it has been for the millennia, if you can’t produce at the pace society needs, then you are worthless; this is true for younger people and especially true for older adults. Older adults contribute to this by their longing for the “good old days” which, of course, were not so good. In politics, every advance in promoting “proclaim freedom throughout the land and to all its inhabitants therein” is met with backlash and a desire to ‘make our country great again’ which is code for white christian men rule and everyone else is subservient. The predicament described above is the result of both the young and the old.

We need to get out of “being stale” as older adults, this doesn’t mean we have to be up on the latest fad, it means we have to continue to learn and grow spiritually, morally, mentally. We have to offer our wisdom to another(s) and find ways to listen and be heard. We have to end our incessant ‘need to stay young’ and live into the bodies we are becoming, the spirits we are growing and accept the place of “elder” in our families, communities and world. We do not have to shut up, we do not have to be an invalid, we do have to recognize what we can do and what we can’t, we do have to accept the people who no longer see our usefulness and not resent their failure to see our humanity, we have to live into what is and not what used to be and/or what we want it to be. Facing the “traumatic fear of being old” with curiosity, with eagerness for the ‘next chapter’, not allowing society to define us with its prejudicial attitudes and discriminatory ways is the solution to not “being stale”, to not being overcome with fear and self-loathing. We can do this, we must do this because the world is in need of wisdom, not wise-cracks, it is in need of maturing, not being dumbed down by the authoritarians, it is in need of equality, not slavery and those of us who have lived through the turbulent times we have know the difference and the path to helping the younger generation grow what is needed for all rather than what is wanted by the few.

I continue to see myself in these words and ideas. I am hearing Rabbi Heschel speak directly to me. This is the reason I keep writing, I keep speaking when asked and ask to speak even when rejected. It is an interesting phenomenon for me to not push myself into places I am not wanted and to seek places where I am. Rejection is not personal to me, because people who see me as old, as “the past” just have bad eyesight and I can have rachmones, compassionate pity, for them. I also refuse to be stale-full stop. I continue to seek ways to convey the wisdom I have gained and have more acceptance  of the results knowing they are out of my control.  God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark.

Learning for Rabbi Heschel's teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growth

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 259

“In order to be a master, one must learn how to be an apprentice. Reverence for the old, dialogue between generations, is as important to the dignity of the young as it is for the well-being of the old. We deprive ourselves by disparaging the old.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 84)

“Reverence” comes from the Latin meaning “to stand in awe of” and “dignity” comes from the Latin meaning “worthy”. “Dialogue” comes from the Greek meaning “through word”, deprive comes from the Latin meaning “away completely”, and “disparage” comes from the Latin meaning” unequal rank”. I look the words up to better understand how, why, and the different ways Rabbi Heschel “dialogues” with us.

Reading the last two sentences above as “to stand in awe of the old, (relating) through words between generations, is as important to the worthy of the young as it is to the well-being of the old. We take away completely from ourselves by making the old unequal to us” is the way I am hearing Rabbi Heschel this morning. In the cultures that did not survive antiquity such as Assyrian, Greek, Egyptian, Roman, etc one of the things they had in common was  their irreverence for the old, their disparagement of the old, etc. Once one had ceased being able to ‘work’, your value was “disparaged” etc. This trend has continued up to today! The treatment of the “old” varies depending on the times, it has an ebb and flow, yet very few societies have had the “reverence for the old” that Japanese Culture is famous for, very few societies believe that regular “dialogue between generations” will lead to better wisdom and outcomes for the next generation. Very few cultures today realize that these will lead to the younger generation being more worthy to assume the mantle of leadership and will, in reality, change the trajectory of how we live. Very few cultures ‘know in their bones’ that they take away from themselves when they see the old as less worthy, of lesser rank than themselves.

Yet, for the millennia, we have been unable to sustain a way of living that has “reverence for the old” that promotes “dialogue between generations”. The old see the younger generation as trying to ‘usurp their power’, ‘take their place’, ‘sweep out their accomplishments’, etc. The young see the older generation as ‘standing in their way’, ‘trying to stop progress’, ‘not wanting to let go’, etc. Without coming together “through words” we will continue to defeat ourselves as a society, continue to make the same errors our ancestors made, deny the “unalienable” rights to another individual, group, race, religion, etc. We need to learn from our history, we need to see and emulate the cultures that have found the ‘sweet spot’ between doing the same things as the previous generation in exactly the same way, “make us great again” and jettisoning everything that has gone before us for a new way of being. Returning to a “slave” environment, a way of being that makes women second-class citizens agains is not a good idea-full stop. Continuing to engage in “identity” politics and deny the dignity and humanity of another group, as has happened to Jews throughout the modern era and to many other ethnic groups is also not the right way-full stop. We need to find the middle, respecting the individual needs of people and finding the best way for humanity to grow into “being human” which is the focal point of all of Rabbi Heschel’s teachings, I believe.

“Reverence for the old…dignity of the young” is found in most religious cultures as we can witness from the awe afforded our teachers, our clergy who have learned not just the religious doctrines but also which ones fit where and when, which ones have to be re-interpreted, which ones were mislabeled doctrines when they were examples of what not to do! In the Torah, it is mentioned 36 times to care for the needy, the poor, the stranger, etc. We are told to “honor” our elders, the judges were people who had the wisdom of age and experience. Rather than disparage the old, as we have seen throughout the history of this nation and others, we need to take a page from antiquity and not sit in the seat of our elders, not make them of unequal worthiness to us, no longer believe we have to write them out of the history of the company, country, institution, family we have taken the reins of.

When we have “dialogue between generations” people grow exponentially because the older generation is not engaged in being right, rather we are engaged in helping the younger generation not fall into the same traps as we did. We are the best cheerleaders and advisors for the young because we know ‘where the bodies are buried’, what the pitfalls are, how one’s ego gets in the way of what is the next right thing to do, etc. When we have these dialogues, the young are helping the older generation be fruitful and alive, engaged and aware of our dignity and our worth. When we “stand in awe” of the older generation, the older generation “stands in awe” of us as well. Both generations come together to admire the works of the previous one and the path of the current one. It is a coming together of ideas, of human beings, a blueprint for harmony and co-existence that can be used intra-generationally as well. Learning to not “disparage the old” gives us the understanding and necessity to not “disparage” anyone. It is time for us to realize that we all need to get along and what better path to learn this than inter-generationally!

I understand this teaching very well from both sides of the coin. I did always have “reverence for the old” and engaged my elders in “dialogue” because I knew how much I had/have to learn. I also knew that “there is nothing new under the sun” so the cons I wanted to run had been done before so I should learn what not to do. Sometimes it helped and sometimes it didn’t:)! In my recovery, I picked a sponsor that had more time and more experience in being in recovery than me so I could learn and grow. In my career, I became a student of Rabbis who were more experienced, more learned, than I and to this day use them as sounding boards and measuring sticks. I am experiencing being sidelined by people because not many people seek my advice nor engage in dialogue with me. I know they have reverence for my accomplishments and it is lonely not to be engaging in the inter-generational dialogue that I so enjoyed and benefited from with my elders and still do. I am grateful for the dialogues I have with people and the learnings we do together in this moment and I am grateful to all of you for reading and interacting with my daily blog. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Learning from the Teachings of Rabbi Heschel - A Daily Path for Growing our Inner Lives

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 258

“In order to be a master, one must learn how to be an apprentice. Reverence for the old, dialogue between generations, is as important to the dignity of the young as it is for the well-being of the old. We deprive ourselves by disparaging the old.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 84)

Thinking about the first sentence above, allowing it to overwhelm ourselves, reminds us of “the way things used to be”. Not all of our progress, technological advances, emphasis on College/University as a degree-giving, economic foundation building has been good. We are churning out people who truly believe they are masters at a myriad of jobs, careers, businesses, political strategies, etc before they have even gotten their hands dirty with the work. Modernity has deceived people, both young and old, that being an apprentice is the same as being a slave and, if you are that ‘uneducated, stuck, poor, then I guess enslaving yourself to someone is the only way forward for you’ seems to be a theme that has been around since the Baby Boomers generation. First generation American parents did not want their kids to ‘suffer’ as they had growing up so they groomed them to go to college and find a career. This has become the societal norm for the children of us boomers and allowing the first sentence above to overwhelm me, makes me question the wisdom of the ways we have acted.

Rabbi Heschel is giving us a huge clue as to how to grow in wisdom, in maturity and in living. As the Hasidic Master, R. Leib Sarah related, "I traveled to the Maggid not to hear Torah from him, but to see how he ties and unties his shoelaces.” We seem to have lost this art of learning by being an apprentice. It is an interesting to witness how many Vice-Presidents who have gone on to become President do not attribute their decisions to the President whom they served-many do and many don’t. It is interesting to note how many people who take over a company as the new CEO want to remake the staff and company ‘in their image’ not always knowing or caring what the history of the company has been. Being an apprentice seems to be “out of favor” in today’s world except in the skilled trade industries. It certainly is “out of favor” in many of the professions like being a Clergyperson, an accountant, a lawyer, etc. Lincoln didn’t go to Law School, yet we require people to jump through so many hoops to be considered a professional while the itinerant preacher, the traveling Rabbi, the doctor who learned from his doctor, the lawyer who learned from another lawyer all built this country into a great country. When the emphasis wasn't on Date of Birth and what Insurance you have, doctors were healers. When the emphasis wasn't on how great an orator you are, Rabbis, Priests, Ministers, Imams tended to the spiritual maladies of their flocks. When young people wanted to know how to be as a professional, as a human being, they learned from the older generation. Yet we seem to have lost this art and this way.

It is sad, when the young believe they do not need the wisdom and experience of the older generation. It is sadder when the older generation is too afraid of being irrelevant and obsolete that they don’t offer their wisdom to the younger generation. It is not the job of the older generation to hide and wait to be asked-it is our obligation to offer the experience and wisdom we have attained. If they youngsters don’t want to hear, that is their business and they do it at their own peril as well as the peril of the organization, business, living conditions they are engaged in. The younger generation seems to ‘know better’ always, hence Mark Twain’s quote: “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years”. I wonder how we have been apprentices of our parents in the way we parent, whom have we learned from that nurtures and enhances our spiritual well-being? How have we learned to ignore our spiritual health, blame another for our shortcomings, and made money, power, celebrity our higher powers and our goals. When mendacity becomes the currency in which we deal, how little have we learned from history?

We can, however, remedy our current situation. Instead of denigrating the older generations, we can interview them, we can learn from them. Instead of the older generations go off to enjoy their “golden years”, they can be writing their ethical wills to us young-ups:) We all have something to give to those younger than us, we all have important battle scars to share with those who may not have to suffer the same fates as we have if they can learn from us. Watching how the older generation “ties and unties their shoelaces” is the way to learn what the next right action to take is and how to take this action. There are many people who teach the next generation the wrong ways to follow and heed the “word of God” with their ignoring the lessons from the destruction of the two Temples in Jerusalem and the exile of Jews from Israel for 1900 years, there are many people who want to bastardize the teachings of Jesus with their bullshit ‘prosperity gospel’, there are too many people teaching an Islam that rather than seek peace wants to make war, wants to send their young into certain death. We, the people, of a certain age, we, the people who are the descendants of the older generation have to reclaim our rightful place. We are obligated to call a halt to the lies, an end to the senseless hatred, sound the shofar which proclaims freedom and lead everyone we can across the Red Sea out of mendacity and greed, spiritual death and degrading the wisdom of our elders.

My recovery is based on being an apprentice and a journeyman. I am, by no stretch of the imagination, an expert and I am pretty good at learning. I learned how to be a thief and I learned how to be a decent human being. I have thought about the ways of my ancestors as examples of how to be in the world as a mensch. I have watched my teaches “tie their shoelaces” in order to know how to teach and preach, I have also taught many people how to find the ‘niggun’ of their soul and sing the melody, the words that are in the core of their being out loud and for all to hear and learn from. I have been engaged in learning with people for most of my life and in the past 35+ I have been learning good things. I am not needing to push myself on anyone and I don’t shrink from speaking truth to power. I have made the choice to continue being an apprentice and being a master in my area of living. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growing

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 257

“There is no human being who does not carry a treasure in his soul; a moment of insight, a memory of love, a dream of excellence, a call to worship.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 84).

Today, and everyday, we wake up to a new order, a new way of being, a new awareness because of our experiences of yesterday, because we are able to synthesize and incorporate our life’s experiences a little more each day. The decision by Joe Biden to “pass the torch” in the middle of an election season is one of the proofs of Rabbi Heschel’s words above. He had “a moment of insight, a call to worship” and found that it was time for him to let go and let God, as we say in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. It is heroic to take the actions of our worship and our faith, our insights and our dreams and Joe Biden is a hero.

We all have the same heroic tendencies and calls within us, we are so gobsmacked by someone responding to “a call to worship” because it is done so rarely. We are so awed by people who follow through on “a moment of insight” that helps another human being without it being about them because it is such a rarity. We are angry and jealous when someone speaks from the “treasure in his soul” because we are so afraid to. All of these ways of being noted above are open and available to all of us-yet the vast majority of us refuse to take advantage of them, use them and, instead, go along with the societal norms and the deceptions of the selfish, narcissistic ‘leaders’ who want complete control and all the wealth.

While this way of being is ‘understandable’ in the young-after all “youth is wasted on the young” as the song says- for those of us in the older generation to continue to speak these lies to ourselves and teach them to our young is criminal! We people of experience and age, of having lived through the myriad of horrors that “societal norms” and deceptions by another(s) as well as self-deception have caused, have to be the ones who teach our children of the “treasure in his soul” that we ignored for so long, maybe even up to today. We, the ‘old folks’ are being called to share our “moment of insight” with our children and grandchildren, with the college students and the babies, with the inheritors of our businesses and positions, because we have the perspective they can never have. We have to see the younger generations as gifts and extenders of our work, our love, our insights, our treasures, not competitors.

To do this, to offer and give away the “treasure in his soul” that we all carry, we have to acknowledge our treasure to ourselves. All of us, young and old, have to accept that we are more than our deeds, more than our physical beings and rise up to meet the “treasure in his soul” and follow the path it leads us on. We are all needed, no matter what our age, race, gender, ethnicity, faith, etc. and the “treasure in his soul” is unique to each and every human being. We are being called upon to live our “treasure” out loud and, in certain times, very loudly. Rabbi Heschel lived the “treasure in his soul” very loudly both in his writings and his actions. So did Rev. King, LBJ, the Kennedy brothers, the Berrigan brothers and so many more of my youth. My father did as well, even though he didn’t make money off of “the treasure in his soul”, he shared it with his children, his family, his friends and all those around him. The “treasure in his soul” is, of course, the unique spark of the divine, the kernel of higher consciousness that is unique to an individual, and this is what we are being called to add to the world. Those of us of ‘a certain age’ have to share with the younger generations the pitfalls, the traps of living the “treasure” out loud-the scorn that Don Quixote sings about as well as the joy from knowing we are following our soul’s script and living authentically and in line with the divine/responding to the call of the universe.

“A call to worship” is essential to living well and to giving away what we know. We need to hear from our higher self, listen to our intuition, receive the strength from a higher power often in order to overcome the selfishness and greed that courses through the veins of human beings. We need to engage in “worship” so we are able to admit our errors to ourselves and another(s), so we can appreciate our ‘victories’ and not gloat about them, so we can hear the next right action to take for the betterment of our world, our community, our families and our self. Without engaging in “a call to worship” we will never recall “a memory of love” that has sustained us, we will not be able to appreciate and use the moments of solitude to meet God, engage with the self we are created to be and know we are loved by an the eternal love of the universe. Sharing this “memory of love” is crucial for the spiritual health and growth of the younger generations. We have the opportunity to not just pass down our material wealth, we have the opportunity and, I believe, the duty to pass down our spiritual wealth, our spiritual journeys, our spiritual growth. After all, only through our spiritual growth and having our souls direct our brains can we achieve even a part of our “dream of excellence”.

This teaching is what propels me to keep writing this blog, to keep passing on what I know and how to apply ‘ancient’ wisdom to today’s world. There is “nothing new under the sun” and our challenge is to apply the wisdom and the lessons of antiquity to mitigate the dangers, the horrors and the destructions that happened then and up to today. I know to some I sound like “chicken little” and to others “a broken record” and I am sad for this. I know my delivery is not for everyone and I work hard to “speak to people in the way he/she/they can understand”. Most of all, I love sharing the “treasure” in my soul with another human being. I love living in the “memory of love” each day because this memory is alive and well in my relationships with the people around me. I am humbled by the many times each day I experience a  “moment of insight” because I respond to “ a call to worship”. I am grateful beyond measure for the ability to “dream of excellence” and the power to carry at least of a part of it out. I am blessed beyond words, certainly beyond my deserving, and I know the only way to repay these gifts is to pay it forward. I hope you do also. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living Into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growth

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 256

“This, then is a most urgent problem: How to convey the inexpressible legacy, the moments of insight, how to invoke unconditional commitment to justice and compassion, a sensitivity to the stillness of the holy, attachment to sacred words.” (Insecurity of Freedom pls 83,84)

Continuing to engage in responding to “a most urgent problem”, before we seek the “how”, we have to first understand and accept what an “unconditional commitment to justice and compassion” and “the stillness of the holy, attachment to sacred words” are. “Unconditional” is defined as “not subject to any conditions” and synonyms are: “wholehearted, complete, unreserved, full, etc”. “Commitment”, as we have defined earlier comes from the Latin meaning to “join, entrust”, English defines it as a “pledge or undertaking” and Hebrew uses a word that also can mean obligated. Justice is defined  and demonstrated in the Bible in many different ways and compassion is demonstrated throughout the Bible, beginning with God’s compassion towards Cain after Cain killed his brother, or the better part of himself, as a friend and teacher taught me this week-depending on how one interprets this story and continues throughout the Bible. Caring for the stranger, the poor, the needy; making sure Judges are not blinded by bribes and carry out “righteous judgment” and we constantly are “pursuing righteousness” are foundational to our system of laws-biblically and in democratic countries. “Stillness” of course means “not moving or making a sound”, “deep silence and calm”, etc. “Invoke” comes from the Latin meaning “to call upon”, the Hebrew is to request” and the English is “to call for earnestly” among others.

Using the different definitions, now we can begin our search for “how to invoke…” We begin with asking ourselves to end our hidden agendas, we make a decision to be transparent with the people around us, we adopt a “what you see is what you get” modus operandi. We no longer talk in riddles and we call upon ourselves to live in truth and openness. We call upon those we love and show them our inner life, asking for their help to put our inner life into better shape, to know us in our core, and, of course, to see all of us and love us with our flaws and wholeness. The first step in the “how to” is to call upon ourselves in truth and call out to one another in truth and need.

The second step is rise above the societal bullshit of ‘everything is conditional’, ‘it depends’. In order to “how to…” we have to let go of our preconceived conditions, to release our fears of acceptance and follow the example of Abraham when he was told “Go to/for yourself, leave your land, your relatives and your father’s house to a land I will show you.”(Gen:12:1). We have to leave the expectations of ‘tit for tat’, of reward and punishment, we have to “let go completely” of our old ideas and be wholehearted in our calling upon our selves and one another to engage in the commitments that are the solution to the different “most urgent” problems facing us. We cannot be in any solution when we ‘hedge our bets’, we have to be “all in” with reckless abandon because the people who want to pervert justice, deny compassion are “all in” for their quest for power, for dominion, for rule and for themselves.

Rabbi Heschel is calling out to us to truly “join with” our Higher Consciousness, Power Greater than Ourselves, the Ineffable One, the Creative Energy of the Universe to bring about justice that is true and certain, that is not determined by the status or wealth of the defendant, that there truly is “one law for the stranger and the citizen alike” (Ex: 12:49). We have to rise above our baser nature for survival, for power, for wealth, for fitting in and make a decision to belong to the goodness of the Universe, to constantly rise above our more negative tendencies. The freedom of another and of ourselves depends on our standing for what is just, what is true, rather than standing with the liars and charlatans, with the corrupt priests and rulers/authoritarians. We can see throughout history what happens when the ‘religious’ become so criminal and deceptive, when the ‘ruling’ party is interested in their wealth and their power, countries collapse into chaos, the rule of law is forsaken, justice is laughed at, the Temple is destroyed (twice) and the ‘religious’ blame everyone else because they are incapable of being responsible.

The words above are meant for us to hear, see and understand our obligation. “This, then, is a most urgent problem” is for all of us to solve, all of us to find and be part of the solution otherwise we are part of the problem. It doesn’t matter if it is MAGA lies of Trump, the Council for National Policy, Ginni Thomas or Paul Weyrich, Ken Peters of Patriot Church- they are all rejoicing over the subjugation of women, the rising tide of “white power” being installed for good in our country, for the democratic norms to be replaced by the mendacity and bastardization of Christ’s words and deeds. We, the people have to rise up and join with Rev William Barber, Steve Schmidt, Russell Moore, Rabbi Sharon Brous, Jamie Raskin, Kamala Harris, Joe Biden, Gretchen Whitmer, et al who are doing everything they can to “invoke unconditional commitment to justice and compassion”. They need help and we must help them to ensure that our children enjoy the same freedoms we have, our grandchildren grow up without fear of being discriminated against because they are Jewish, Muslim, Asian, Latino, Black, LGBTQ, etc. We, the people, are being called upon to tell the stories of freedom and the fight to keep it and expand it that our ancestors went through and we have gone through so the younger generation doesn’t buy into the lies of the MAGA’s, the Trumps/Vances, etc.

I know what it is like to have an “unconditional commitment to justice and compassion” and what it is like to pretend to have one. I have lived both and, while the former is tougher to live, it doesn’t give me everything I desire and want-it is a far better way of living than the latter! My father, my aunts and uncles grew up with an “unconditional commitment…” because this is the way my grandfather lived. He was poor and he got by financially, spiritually and morally he was the richest guy in town because everyone had a good word to say about him and he did not deny justice and compassion to anyone-even those who hurt him, took advantage of him. I know my pretending led to my criminality and alcoholism and they led to my pretending. In these last 35+ years, my commitment is true and complete, I experience being “called upon” and I know I am obligated to give 100% to being just and compassionate even to those who do not reciprocate. I have learned that my personal hurts mean much less than the call of “this most urgent problem”-saving a life, saving our freedoms, living into and being the “divine need” I was created to serve. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path for Growing our Souls

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 255

“This, then is a most urgent problem: How to convey the inexpressible legacy, the moments of insight, how to invoke unconditional commitment to justice and compassion, a sensitivity to the stillness of the holy, attachment to sacred words.” (Insecurity of Freedom pls 83,84)

“Convey” comes from the Latin meaning “way together”, and the English definitions include: “carry to a place, communicate, make an idea understandable”. Rabbi Heschel’s question above, “how to convey…the moments of insight” is a very important one for all of us. The question assumes we all have “moments of insight”, we all know what the next right thing to do is, we all have a sense of what our Higher Consciousness is telling us, what need we are created to fill, what God wants from us, etc. This means it takes a great deal of inner negativity to draw ourselves away from these “moments of insight”, it is not the ‘easier softer way’ to be negative, it actually goes against our very nature-as I hear Rabbi Heschel calling out to us this morning!

No one is devoid of “moments of insight” and many of us are not willing to convey them from our souls, our guts to our brains. Society seems more interested in conveying the negativity of our minds to the world and denying, decrying those who share and look for a “way together” through their “moments of insight”. Railing against those wanting to join with everyone else’s “moments of insight” to create the mosaic, the amazing quilt called living together in tolerance, in a harmony that brings together the cacophony of each person’s unique melody of their soul. These naysayers are the “populists” of our time, they are against “the elites” even though they graduated from every ‘elite’ institution they want to ban, even though they are the ones with money and are catering to the rich and powerful, even though they want to have complete authority over women’s bodies, minds, over those low-life Jews, Muslims, etc, those criminals who were not born here-even though all of their ancestors were immigrants, legal and illegal. They have made a cottage industry of denying their “moments of insight” and proclaiming their negativity and con games are the ‘real’ “moments of insight”!

While it is easy to blame the populist politicians, we have to look at our institutions, communities of faith, and our families to see what it is that gives these lying deceivers such popularity and a fairly huge following. In our institutions and businesses we see Boards of Directors who are interested in satisfying their shareholders, their stakeholders. In for-profit organizations, if it helps the bottom line, that is all that matters-who cares about the workers, the environment, etc. In non-profit organizations, the Boards of Directors care about how they look to the outside world, demand to follow the “evidence-based” solutions rather than color outside the lines-even though most non-profits were created by people coloring outside the lines. Yet, just like with businesses, non-profit institutions get corrupted by people who are unwilling to find a “way together”, to join in the “moments of insight of those who are being served, doing the work, and/or created the project. Optics is more important than essence for many businesses and non-profits. How sad!

In our communities of faith, we are witnessing the same difficulty of communicating true “moments of insight” and instead we are deluged by simplistic, stupid one-way solutions. “Follow me, I have the answer and all you need to do is believe”, this and other such bullshit has turned many away from faith communities which is the very place where we should be learning how to discern what are “moments of insight” and what are mental gymnastics. For those who stay in these communities, the hubris of clergy, governing bodies, elders, etc that they alone know what God wants, they alone know the One-Way to be is blasphemy! It is saying they are God themselves. What passes as Judaism, Christianity, Islam is so far from the foundational texts and are purposeful mis-understandings of what the people closest to the beginning knew-there are a myriad of ways to understand these texts and it is our job to find the different ‘faces’ that are appropriate for this moment, for this instance. Nowhere does Christ say: hate the immigrant, nowhere does Moses say: it is okay to pervert justice for the ‘greater good’, nowhere does Mohammed say: a Muslim should go against the laws of the land of their residence. Yet, the charlatans and self-declared ‘prophets of doom’ preach these and other such lies! It is way past time to end our reliance on deceit and ‘populism’, it is way past time to end our joy in kicking people when they are down, it is way past time to stop making someone else bad so we can feel good, feel superior.
We have to end our veneration of the strong, the worshiping of the Rebels of the Confederacy, the pity for the Jan 6 rioters who stormed the Capital, who assaulted Police Officers, etc. We have to end our genuflecting at the feet of Navarro, Bannon, Trump, Vance, et al. We have to end our going along with Mike Johnson being a ‘good christian man’ because they are all LIARS!

We, the people, have to listen to the “moments of insight” from our souls that are struggling to get through to our brains. We are in need of seeing Physicians of the Soul to help our sight get better, to enable our souls to speak loud enough for our brains to hear and to give our spiritual insights veto power over the ‘evil thoughts’ of our brains. We have the power to do this within us, we just have to unlock it, we have to nurture it and we have to live it. I know this to be true as I was a con man and a thief, I ruined my life and everyone else’s around me. I only gave heed to my brain until December of 1986-when I was arrested for the last time. My brain was struck silent in a jail cell and I heard a call in my soul that I repeated out loud-“God was trying to tell me something and I had to sit here and figure it out.” This encounter with this “moment of insight” and my ability to convey it to another human being and to myself made me who I am today. It has propelled me to never think I am the smartest in the room, to find a “way together” with another person, a group of people forward in our quest to help an individual heal the spiritual malady they are suffering from. It has kept me together when my world has fragmented, it has made me never suffer from despair and always seek new ways of seeing what is going on. It has allowed me to ask the question: “What is the question this experience is the answer to” so I see each experience as answers/solutions and I just have to find the right questions/problems that fit these solutions. I am constantly seeking to improve my daily living, to listen more carefully to my spiritual awakenings each day and to better “convey the moments of insight” I experience. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growing

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 254

“This, then is a most urgent problem: How to convey the inexpressible legacy, the moments of insight, how to invoke unconditional commitment to justice and compassion, a sensitivity to the stillness of the holy, attachment to sacred words.” (Insecurity of Freedom pls 83,84)

The questions Rabbi Heschel asks above have been at the core of human existence since the days of Adam and Eve, or at least Cain and Abel. Given that these words were written and spoken some 60+ years ago, did our parents generation find a solution to “this, then most urgent problem”? Many did as we witnessed the support of Civil Rights, Voting Rights, Rev. King, Bobby Kennedy, the protests against the Vietnam War, etc. the real issue is how we, of this generation of elders, may have not! We became obsessed and focused on “success” and “generating generational wealth”, and raised our children with either privilege or poverty as birthrights. We built more and more gated communities to keep ‘those people, the riffraff’ out of our ‘pristine neighborhoods. We tried to perfect the two-tiered justice system, and other such separations, we forgot the lessons of the previous generation after they saw the horrors in the aftermath of the Nazis and the destruction of Europe by both the Axis and Allies.

Across the globe we are witnessing the replaying of Moses and Pharaoh, arguing as to whether Pharaoh will heed “Thus says God, Let My People GO!!, or will Pharaoh continue to seduce the people themselves into believing they are better off under his/her thumb than being free. “How to convey the inexpressible legacy” of desire to be free, the actual leaving of slavery-inner and outer- and the long road ahead to create an environment of freedom for all, to “proclaim freedom throughout the land and to all its inhabitants therein” as we are taught in Leviticus 25:10. We read this each year in the weekly Torah readings not because we don’t know the story, rather precisely because we know the story, we need to live the story out loud, we need to find ways to express this “Inexpressible legacy” of freedom for all, express the “inexpressible legacy” of the end of slavery in Egypt, in America some 3100+ years after the Jews left Egypt! What we are finding is there are many people who want to keep the myriad of “inexpressible legacies” quiet, they are in desperate need of denying the exodus from Egypt, denying the right of Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists to practice their faith (which has happened off and on throughout history), and the need to deny truth, deny the “unalienable rights…to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” that our Declaration of Independence calls for. Like some in the State of Israel, some here have said the Declaration Of Independence means nothing and only the ‘christian nationalists’, the ‘real jews’, ‘the true believers in Islam’ know who should really have those rights and who should not-according to these ‘religious fanatics’, these people wanting their version of what their particular ‘religious law’ says to be the law of the land for one and and all. Rather than “proclaim liberty/freedom” they want to proclaim adherence and slavery and, unfortunately, because they waive the false flag of ‘we will let YOU keep your money’ too many people are selling themselves and the rest of us down the river.

We have seen this movie before, many times throughout history and, we seem incapable of learning the lessons of our legacies with tyrannies, with despots, with authoritarians, etc. We seem to be incapable of truly living into the legacy of Paul Revere, the Adams Brothers, Moses, Aaron, the Israelites, Joshua, Caleb, the Prophets, Jesus, Mohammed, Lincoln, Roosevelts(both of them), Kennedy, Johnson, G.W. Bush, McCain, etc who have found the ways to speak truth to power and listen to truth when they had power. We have watched people ignore this “inexpressible legacy” in favor of ‘winning’, in favor of ‘making a lot of money’, in favor of enslaving/blaming someone else. We are seeing the results of the poor jobs some of the elders of this generation have done in expressing the legacy of freedom, the legacy of unalienable rights, the legacy of democracy and we are seeing the results of those of the current generation who are using the legacies for their own power, for their own greed, in order to be taskmasters, slave owners, Pharaohs! This is one of the problems that have been with us for time immemorial; using the legacies of goodness, justice, compassion, truth, for one’s own benefit, as ‘covers’ for the real agenda which is power, wealth and control. When we “convey the inexpressible legacy”, we have to be careful and aware of how people receive it, we have to ensure, to whatever extent possible, that they do not use the Goebbels method of accusing someone else of what they themselves are doing. We have to ensure, to whatever extent possible, they are not proclaiming evil, good; wrongs, rights; slavery, freedom; etc. It is a hard task and it is our task, we are seeing the fruits of inaction in these ways today as a criminal is immune from his crimes, a party is buying into ‘christian nationalism’ that has the opposite principles of Christ, and a populace who believe these selfish, power-hungry, despots will give them more freedom to..hate, to feel superior to those Jews, Blacks, Muslims, Asians, Hispanics? We, the people, have to rise up, as the Founding Fathers did, as Paul Revere’s Ride did and “PROCLAIM FREEDOM THROUGHOUT THE LAND AND TO ALL ITS INHABITANTS THEREIN!”

I am writing this because the words above stir me to think of the ways I have and have not expressed the “inexpressible legacy” to family, friends, people around me, congregants, and the world. I know I am a small voice with a small platform and I know if I can light a fire in someone else’s belly, as Jeremiah says” then we can begin to effect change. My father did not have enough time to express the “inexpressible” to me and, I hear him speaking it to me daily, I never met nor learned directly from Rabbi Heschel and I hear him expressing the inexpressible to me and everyone who studies with him, I have heard great teachers like Rabbi Harold Shulweis and he, along with Rabbi Ed Feinstein, Father Greg Boyle, John Pavlovitz, Dr. Lisa Miller, Rev Mark E Whitlock have ignited a fire within me that is never quenched nor drowned out. This fire propels me to be bombastic if that’s what it takes, to keep pounding the pulpit until people realize the rank manipulations that the ‘good people’ are pulling, until those who buy into the subterfuge of both the left and the right are able to “lift up their eyes and see” truth, justice, compassion, etc. Human beings need love not absolute control, we need companionship not ass-kissers, we need truth not the lies that make us feel good, we need freedom, not the subtle chains of slavery being promoted.  I pray we all begin/continue to express the “inexpressible legacy” of our families, our faith, our beliefs, our countries, etc. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path for Growing our Spiritual Life

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 253

“It is easy to speak about the things we are committed to; it is hard to communicate; it is hard to communicate the commitment itself. It is easy to convey the resentments we harbor it is hard to communicate the praise, the worship, the sense of the ineffable.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 83)

The word “resentment” comes from the French with the original meaning being “to experience an emotion or sensation”,  “to feel deeply”, and only in English did it become “feeling aggrieved by”. With these widely different definitions, Rabbi Heschel’s second sentence above is pregnant with meanings and eye-opening possibilities. It is safe to assume that “it is easy to convey the resentments we harbor” is speaking to the feeling of being aggrieved. Feeling bitterness and or indignation towards someone, some group, some idea, is a cottage industry all across the Globe. Hitler used it well, as did Stalin and Putin is a re-incarnation of the two. Le Pen, Orban, Erdogan, MBS, Netanyahu, Trump, Vance, Johnson feed off of their resentments and stir up the crowds to share their resentments as a means of power seeking and power grabbing. Listening to the political rhetoric in this country is a one-stop shopping spree of bitterness and indignation with no end in sight. What is so amazing about many of these shit-stirrers is they are using God, Jesus, Mohammed, Moses, to bolster their false claims and their indignation, resentments, bitterness and feelings of being aggrieved! How sad, how seriously dangerous and what a desecration of God’s name, of the teachings of so many spiritual guides and teachers.

In the New York Times on July 16, 2024, there was a two page article about how children are cutting off their parents because they are “toxic”. It is another cottage industry where therapists charge these adult children to tell them that the problems in their lives all stem from ‘abusive’ ‘traumatic’ childhood experiences. This is not to say that there is not abusive situations and childhood itself, growing into and out of adolescence is traumatic, it is questionable to this writer, and I believe it would be to Rabbi Heschel, that all of this stems from bad parenting. I know people who were treated horribly by their parents and, in their recovery, in their spiritual journey, find ways to heal the rifts, to take their responsibility and allow their parents and siblings to take theirs. Yet, blaming the parents has been a therapeutic tool for some time now and it seems to be reaching a crescendo. While no parent is perfect, isn’t it important to give the benefit of the doubt to our parents who did not kill us, who fed us, who raised us and who loved us to the best of their ability? “Honor your mother and father” is not in the 10 sayings/commandments because it is a natural state, yet, isn’t this the whole point of life- to go beyond our limitations and boundaries to enhance, nurture the spiritual growth of ourselves and another(s) which is M.Scott Peck’s definition of love? I pray there is a reconciliation as we end the words of the prophet Malachi with: “He (Elijah) will reconcile parents with children and children with parents so there is not total destruction”. We all need to own our parts and stop these “resentments” from blinding us to the whole story, to the good and the not good we have done as children and parents. Owning up to our part and seeking forgiveness, reconnection is how we stave off the destructions that so many people who “feel aggrieved” are trying to bring about, be it the destruction of Jews, of Muslims, of Democracy, of kindness and goodness-we all have a part in making the world whole, either again or for the first time-depending one ones’ belief

If we, however, use the original definitions, then it isn’t so “hard to communicate the praise, the worship, the sense of the ineffable.” Of course it is as we have seen throughout the ages-religion is “the opiate of the masses” and religious rivalries have caused more wars in the history of humanity than any other. Even WWII there were religious overtones to it, hence the Catholic Church did not do everything they could have to stop the extermination of 6 million Jews, and so many others, ie. Gypsy’s, Gays, resistance fighters, etc. In America, no one wanted to go to war “to save the Jews”, an idea promoted by the Christian Nationalists. Even with using the original meanings, “to experience an emotion or sensation”, “to feel deeply”, it is difficult for most human beings to express these experiences. How many times do we get tongue-tied when trying to express the love and joy we have just because we are part of a family, because the person who is our partner makes our life better each day-just by being who they are? How often do we realize how much better a room is because ‘so and so’ just walked in?  What stops us from communicating “the praise”, “the worship”, “the sense of the ineffable”? It is our fear of how that will change us, how we will lose our ‘edge’, naysaying is much safer and having resentments means I don’t have to own my shit and I can blame another. “Praise, worship, the sense of the ineffable” all come to life us up, they give us more awareness and more sharpness, we have a clearer vision and ‘edge’ because we are more comfortable with what we know and never have to prove to another because we Know it in our bones, in our kishkas, in our guts. Changing the ways we encounter the world doesn’t mean we are stupid, it doesn't mean we are naive, it means we want to see more of the story, we are seeking truth and looking at our lives and life itself through a myriad of prisms and making decisions based in reality and based in kindness, based in justice, righteousness, love, compassion and cooperation. We are able to seek out the visions of another(s) because we know we are all pushing/pulling in the same direction-toward a greater sense of the ineffable.

I have lived both sides of this coin of resentment. Living the “feeling aggrieved” has always left me empty, miserable and alone/lonely. Nothing good has come from this state except it has given me the awareness of my need to end my ‘poor me’ attitude. I felt aggrieved when my father died and rode it for over 20 years. I felt aggrieved at my mother’s inability to see me for who I am and I rode that for the same 20+ years. In my recovery, I left that side of resentment, sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly. Resentments have not been the long-lasting fuel of my life anymore-I feel them and I let them go much quicker, thank God and I do this through “Praise, Worship, the Sense of the Ineffable”. I wake up with and in gratitude, I sit down to write this blog with a joy and excitement of what I am going to learn today and I send out “good vibrations” “deep feelings” of being blessed and being loved. I forgave my mother for her shortcomings a long time ago and they don’t run my life anymore, my father’s death still stings as I would love to have one more talk with him and I hear him each day speaking to me, with joy and with wisdom. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path for Spiritual Growing

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 252

“It is easy to speak about the things we are committed to; it is hard to communicate; it is hard to communicate the commitment itself. It is easy to covey the resentments we harbor it is hard to communicate the praise, the worship, the sense of the ineffable.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 83)

In the first sentence above, Rabbi Heschel is calling out to us to know what making a commitment truly entails, what a commitment is. In the dictionary, it is defined as “an engagement that restricts our freedom”, “the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity”, and “a pledge or undertaking”. The word commit in the dictionary has as its first definition, “carry out or perpetrate (a crime or immoral act)” and comes from the Latin meaning “to send with”, “to join”, “to entrust”.

In responding to the first sentence above, we have to think about what is our dedication to and how to communicate this dedication. We have to find ways to explain to another and to our self why and how we are restricting our freedom by our commitments. What are we joining with, what are we entrusted with and entrusting to another human being and a power greater than ourselves, what are we sent with from birth? These questions and more disturb me, they are giving me, and hopefully you, a new way of experiencing my relationship with people, especially the younger people in my life and those I may still reach. The things we are committed to are definitely important and to communicate the commitment itself is as important if not more so. We have to be able to communicate the commitment itself: if we want to follow the dictate to “teach your children”, if passing wisdom and experience from one generation to another is as important to us as we say it is. How will the next generation know how to make a commitment if we don’t teach them what it means to commit-not to “carry out or perpetrate a crime or immoral act” rather to send our whole being into the fray to battle for what is right and true, what is good and holy, what takes care of the poor, the needy, the stranger, the powerless and the voiceless.

I hear Rabbi Heschel call out to us from the depths of his being, from his own insight in 1961 of where we were headed and how the reviling of the generation of people who risked everything to come to America, who knew “the commitment itself” and lived it was  dangerous in 1961 and how much more dangerous and devastating is it now. We have a political party that wants to take us back 50, 60, 170 years to a time in our nation’s history when equality was a joke, when ‘good christian folk’ could freely hate Blacks, Hispanics, Jews, and never be called out about it. We are hearing a political party rail against their ‘enemies’, which are actually just political opponents, accusing them of everything they have been doing for the past 30 years - seeing politics as war, promoting violence like Jan. 6th, etc and people are committed to this way of being, this thing called MAGA-yet once one asks a MAGA “the commitment itself” we find them tongue-tied and inarticulate, deflecting and defending.  When you ask most people to communicate “the commitment itself” we become tongue-tied because we don’t ask ourselves these questions, we just follow along and, unfortunately, we become “excellent sheep”.

We, the people, have to put more thought and energy into what we “join with”, what we “entrust” and to whom, what we engage in and the reasons for doing taking a commitment on. We get married for emotional reasons, most of the time, while marriage is a commitment that needs to be communicated, it is a commitment of spirit, it is a commitment of trust and we “join with” another human being to create a new entity, an entity that, in Jewish thinking, brings together two parts of one soul, a repairing of what was broken at the time of creation, at the time of birth. It is a commitment of knowing and learning each other’s inner life, how to help them and us grow along spiritual lines and a connection that goes beyond all emotional ties. How many people are able to communicate “the commitment itself” that marriage truly is?

We all need to sit down and ask ourselves what is our commitment-not to what, not what is our commitment to-really discern within our selves what commitment is to us, in our lives and are our actions and deeds reflecting what we say commitment is? This is a hard process and a necessary one. As we enter the “three weeks” of mourning net Tuesday to commemorate the destruction of the Second Temple and the fall of Jerusalem we are being called to look at the ways we have destroyed our sense of commitment, our definition of commitment for our immediate needs and desires. We are being called to see how we have constructed immoral commitments, how we have built alliances that will destroy the fabric of our spiritual life. We are also 7 weeks til the month of Elul-the month of doing more inventory and getting ready for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It is the month of making amends and the month of forgiving people who have harmed you. It is the month also to forgive oneself. Forgiving oneself for the bastardization of “the commitment itself” is crucial during the next 7 weeks for without doing this, we will never be able to believe in our ability to embrace “ the commitment itself”!

In recovery, we are recovering our integrity, our commitment to something greater than ourselves. I have found myself unable to contain myself when someone is bastardizing the commitment we have made. A deal is a deal-it can be changed and to change it both/all parties to it have to be part of the change or at least informed of it. I have found myself equally agitated when I have bastardized what a commitment is-not when I have been unable to fulfill one as this is one of our human frailties. What I am agitated with myself and/or another is when a commitment is made and then broken because it is expedient without any notice, when it is forgotten because it wasn’t important enough, when I am reminded of the ways I behaved prior to my commitment to decency. I become bombastic because I remember the ways my ancestors communicated “the commitment itself” through their actions as well as their words. For the older generation of my family-their word was their bond and I have made this my definition as well. I continue to find ways to communicate what a commitment is, the meaning of making it comes from my soul and when I miscommunicate and/or do not fulfill it, I am bereft and when another uses “the commitment itself” to manipulate me or another, I am bombastic. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growing

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 251

“The real bond between two generations is the insights they share, the appreciation they have in common, the moments of inner experience in which they meet. A parent is not only an economic provider, playmate, shelter, and affection. A human being is in need of security, he is also in need of inspiration, of exaltation and a transcendent meaning of existence.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg.83)

The last two sentences above show us the ways to further bring together and strengthen the bonds between generations and the ways to separate the generations more. When the parent sees him/herself as a ‘friend’ to her/his child, when parents see their role as having to “shelter” their children from any harm and/or consequences for their behaviors, when parents believe ‘throwing money at a problem’ will make it go away, when they believe their children are their investment and therefore should give them bragging rights, they should do what the parents say regardless of how and what the child/teen/young adult wants, there is no reason to share “insights”, “moments of inner experience” nor have an “appreciation” of what they have in common because the parent doesn’t seem to care about commonality-only what makes them look good to the neighbors, to the world!

A child who sees “a parent” as “only an economic provider”, an ATM machine, or a “playmate, shelter” and only seeks “affection” is also breaking the “real bond between two generations”. Just as people who believe that history doesn’t repeat itself so there is no need to study it, just as people listen to the same “dog whistles” that authoritarians, slave owners, despots have said in the past and deny that they mean the same things now and find out that Orban likes Putin more than he likes the people of Hungary-that he turns on the people who supported him when he purported to want freedom for all, so too are children who refuse to share their “inner experiences” and hear the insights of the previous generations finding out how ill-equipped they are for living life on life’s terms. We need to acknowledge our needs for shelter and affection, for being provided for economically up to a certain point and our need to enjoy times between parents and children and we cannot allow this to be the entirety of our relationships!

Parents, grandparents must provide the next generation a “transcendent meaning of existence. “Transcendent” comes from the Latin meaning “climbing over” and the English definition is “beyond or above the range of normal or merely physical human experience”, “surpassing the ordinary”. Every human being has within them a desire and a path for transcendent meaning, it is hard-wired into us-hence our speechlessness at the Grand Canyon, a sunset over the water, the beauty and vibrations of Sedona and other “spiritual vortexes”, etc. We also have within us a need to be needed/called to action that is uniquely ours-which no one else can do in the same way we can. We have within us a higher consciousness, a spirit, that our souls cry out to satisfy and reach. We  are aware of the role of grandparents and the ‘older’ generation in this quest because, often, parents are too caught up in ‘keeping up with the Jones’”, trying to make a living that provides things for our children, and in many cases, working two jobs just to put a roof over their heads and food on the table. Yet, the ‘older’ generation, in many situations is still too concerned with ‘bragging rights’ about their grandchildren to offer these experiences of “transcendent meaning of existence”. We will take them on trips to Disneyland, around the world, etc and not always teach them how to climb over the beauty of something to plumb the depths of meaning that this beauty is capturing. Michelangelo’s “Statue of Moses” is breathtaking and seeing only the Marble, only the statue, only the craftsmanship, misses the essence of his work as evidenced by his quote: “The sculpture is already complete within the marble block, before I start my work. It is already there, I just have to chisel away the superfluous material.”

Without a “transcendent meaning of existence” there is no “inspiration”, no “exaltation”, no joy; there is only fun, partying, seeking wealth, fame, fortune and other such evaporating exploits. We are in desperate need of giving to the generations after us the values, actions of the generations before us gave to us; Democracy, Freedom, Meaning, a respect for the Human Spirit, treating one another with dignity and value, appreciating the uniqueness of one another. We have to teach the next generations how to have “transcendent meaning of existence” through sharing our insights and helping the have their own inner experiences instead of sending them to therapists. We should be speaking to one another about the ways we are still “climbing over” the normal and ordinary to have “exceptional” experiences of love, connection, learning and responding to the call we hear within us. Rather than denying the importance of spiritual growth in young people, as it was denied to us, we are duty-bound, love-bound to encourage the spiritual knowing within the next generation by explaining how we learned to ignore it to our peril, to a sense of loneliness and emptiness inside that no amount of alcohol, money, fame, etc could fill. Only through our experiencing the “transcendent meaning of existence” that is uniquely ours could we fill this hole in the soul. We could not plagiarize it from another person, we had to experience it on our own. Some people are using ‘medicine’ to reach these spiritual insights and some use meditation, while others use prayer and study- whatever the method, we have to teach these ways to the next generations and no longer ‘shield’ them from being responsible for their actions nor berate them because they follow “the beat of their own drummer”. We, the older generations have to provide these paths and accompany the generations after us on this quest, this journey.

I am thinking about how I squandered the insights and transcendent meaning of existence that my father and grandfathers gave me, how I could not hear the call of my aunts and uncles because I was so angry and listened to the material needs of my ego and my immediate family. NO ONE asked me to be a thief, no one asked me to hustle and lose my soul, I just couldn’t hold on to the “transcendent meanings” my father had instilled in me until my recovery began. In these ensuing years, I have shared “insights, transcendent meanings, inspiration and exaltations” with all I have encountered, not always in ways they could hear and understand which I am deeply sorry for. I have also been blessed to have so many people/teachers share these same experiences with me. Most of all, my daughter gets me, we share meanings and exaltations, sorrows and inspirations with one another and my siblings have done the same with their children. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living Into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growing

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 250

“The real bond between two generations is the insights they share, the appreciation they have in common, the moments of inner experience in which they meet. A parent is not only an economic provider, playmate, shelter, and affection. A human being is in need of security, he is also in need of inspiration, of exaltation and a transcendent meaning of existence.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg.83)

“The appreciation they have in common, the moments of inner experience in which they meet” are two experiences which seem to have lost the bonding effect Rabbi Heschel is assuming, declaring in our times. We have Facebook groups of children who have divorced their parents, parents and children who have forgotten to “set a price/appraise” the importance of the bond they have in common with one another. We, as a society, have come to no longer have a positive appraisal, an appreciation of and for the connection between one generation to another. In the Bible, in our prayers in Judaism, in our ritual at some Bar/Bat Mitzvah services, we see the passing down of wisdom and ways of being “from one generation to another”, yet, we are watching in our political, economic, faux religious arenas a passing down of hatred, of anger, of grievance. Have we, as human beings, fallen so far that we forget to appreciate the fact that our parents raised us to the best of their ability, that they had no manual for how to raise a child nor an adult? Have we fallen so far in our lack of humanity and compassion that we fail to appreciate the awesomeness of our children and how much better our lives because they are in it?

When we can get ‘over ourselves’ and our hurts, angers, our anguish over not having the “parents we wanted”, we can see the bond that an appreciation of what we have in common with one another, as a family, a community, a country, as human beings. We can laugh and cry together over our losses and our gains, tell the stories of how we missed an opportunity and how we seized them. We can hear the ethical wills of the ‘older’ generation and, rather than dismissing them as ‘old fogies who are not with it’, we can take their experiences, their errors and their victories and use them to enhance our lives. When we have the bonding experience of appreciating what we have in common with every generation and every human being, we realize  the truth of Ecclesiastes: “there is nothing new under the sun” and because of this each generation that appreciates what the previous one has done and connects to the wisdom and sees the commonalities, can move the gains of that generation forward. This is how the computer age came into being, it is how science has continued to make new discoveries, it is how religions can, if they are not mired in the past, continue to have new insights and appreciations of the wisdom of past Saints, Sinners, Teachers, Prophets, etc to see the “70 faces” of the Bible.

The bond that “moments of inner experience in which they meet” creates is forever. Even when we deny the connection because we are upset over something a person has done, we cannot deny the “moments of inner connection”. It is precisely these moments which allow us to not judge people by their worst acts because we know their worst acts do not make up all of their being. We share “moments of inner connection” when we name our children, when we help them grow, when we allow them to fail and go over what happened to make sure they fail forward. We share “moments of inner connection” when we pray together, when we learn one generation with another. We share them when we allow ourselves to learn from those “young whippersnappers” and from those “ancient fossils”. We share these “moments of inner connection” when we meet someone and care about how they truly are. When we recognize their dignity and worth, when we meet their uniqueness and join our uniqueness with theirs to create beauty and joy, harmony and a stronger foundation.

The world is facing a crisis of not being bonded, society has created situations where the bonding over “appreciation of what they have in common” and “moments of inner connection” is laughed at. The only bonding, according to the new societal norms, that is worth it to us is the bonding over money and power, control and kleptocracy. We see this in the rise of the ‘populist’ movement across the globe, by the very people who have the greatest disdain for the “ordinary people” they are appealing to. The attack on Donald J Trump is horrific and it speaks to what happens when violence is applauded, seen as a means to gaining power, when our democratic institutions are under attack from the far left and far right, when the extremists lie with reckless abandon and no consequences. When being a good, decent human being who is of service is seen as a “loser”, we have lost the “appreciation of what we have in common” and the “moments of inner connection” that we could be sharing as human beings. We, the people, have to recapture our humanness, our dignity and the dignity of everyone once again. We begin this recapturing by connecting to our families, our friends, and our communities based on our shared “moments of inner connection” which entails us dropping our armor, opening ourselves up and allowing people to see and share our inner life. It means that we see how much more in common we have with one another, how each generation thinks the older one is wrong and come to realize the wisdom of age and experience which we can use. We, the people, have to take back our lives through connection to one another, connection to being civil, remembering to “Love our neighbor as we love ourselves”.

I believe, hope that the wisdom of my families prior generations has been filtered through me, my siblings, cousins, so the next generations of our family has the bond of their insights, commonality, and shared inner experiences. I believe we have because the cousins are in touch with one another, my siblings and I continue to tell the stories of our parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents; imparting the wisdom we learned from them and how we have and have not used this wisdom well. I have pictures of my parents and grandparents physically and imprinted on my soul. My life is so much better because of the family I came from and the family I have created. Heather, Harriet, my siblings, nieces and nephews make my life better as does the family, community that we have created through connection and service. I am unafraid to open myself up to inner connections even when I am rebuffed because hiding is not an option for me, it leads me back to the terrible loneliness and spiritual poverty of my teens through 37. I pray people remember the connections and the things we have in common more than my errors, of which there are many. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growing

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 249

“The real bond between two generations is the insights they share, the appreciation they have in common, the moments of inner experience in which they meet. A parent is not only an economic provider, playmate, shelter, and affection. A human being is in need of security, he is also in need of inspiration, of exaltation and a transcendent meaning of existence.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg.83)

Sharing insights is a key part of connection between parents and children, grandparents and grandchildren, between friends, between study partners (call Chaver in Hebrew) and between elected officials and their constituents. This sharing of insights, unfortunately, cuts both ways-sharing positive ones to move the world, one’s life forward towards the being one’s soul calls it to be and sharing the negative ones that teach entitlement, authoritarianism, enslaving another, spreading calumny and deception. Throughout history we have seen both ways of being promoted by people in power and those who feel ‘left out’. In our time, we are watching the ‘poor white people’ especially in the South feeling ‘left out’ because they have been given insights by their ancestors that “the South will rise again”, ie slavery will once again be the way of the land, plantations and wealth will be in the hands of the few and only white people, the only true people fit for leadership, will be in charge. We are watching, some of us in horror, how these opportunists and liars are convincing truly poor people that they will benefit from these deceptions when we know it is all about the elites from the Ivy League Schools who are pushing these mendacious thoughts and ideas! And there is a bond between the generations going back to the Southern States who signed the Constitution with the power-hungry white supremacists of today, and these people are not limited to the South anymore!

There are, of course, the insights being shared by people who believe the words in the Bible: “Let freedom ring throughout the land and to all its inhabitants therein” (Lev. 25:10). These insights are ones where we wrestle with how best to serve humanity in general, family in particular and how to fulfill the call of our souls so we can be free from the lies we have been telling ourselves, so we can free from the inner and outer slavery that society wants to impose on us. We find this way of being in the Talmud, a compendium of 800 years of discussions on how to best fulfill the ways the Bible gives us to live well and to live together and/or side by side in harmony and in tolerance for the differences we all have. Those of us of a certain age remember the Civil Rights movement of the 1950’s and 60’s when our parents and their parents, friends and older siblings and cousins aunts and uncles joined in because of the persecution that our ancestors had faced in their countries of origin. We knew that everyone in America came here to escape some type of persecution; religious, class, slavery, sexual, etc. with the exception of the Black people who were brought here to be sold-an inhumane action by all accounts in every faith. We have to share these insights with our children and children’s children; we have to shout from the rooftops when any injustice is happening because “injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere” as Rev. Martin Luther King said. We have to share our insights with the younger and older generations of anti-semitism and the reign of terror and murder that the Nazis brought upon our earth just 80-85 years ago. We have to share the insight s from the way ‘good’ ‘everyday’ people would turn in their neighbors and torture Jews, Gypsies, just to be in the good graces of the Nazis and the SS. We have to share the insights of what we have learned from these terrible times and we have to share the insights of the Heroes who stood up against these horrific ways of being: the Daniel Websters, the John Browns, the Abraham Lincolns, the Polish, Dutch French resistance fighters, the people who hid Jews, especially children, for the sake of decency and being human, the Freedom Riders who were willing to give their lives and three of them, Chaney, Schwerner and Goodman did, so Black people could register to vote, to Lyndon Johnson who pushed the voting rights act and the Civil Rights Act which was on JFK’s agenda, through Congress. It is time for all of us who remember what it was like when people were discriminated against, who remember being called derogatory names because we are Jewish, Black, Muslim, who remember being told to go back to where we came from because we weren’t really Americans, to share these insights of our direct experiences and/or the stories our ancestors passed down to us.

It is also time for us to listen to the younger generation. We have to continue to hear the insights they have otherwise it is not sharing, it is pontificating and no one who has a brain wants to hear empty pontifications. We need to answer the hard questions of what we did during the turbulent times, how we stood up and how we hid, how our people escaped and how they died because they wanted to be ‘home’. We have to hear their concern for Palestinians who are dying and give them the Israeli side of the story and hear what solutions they have for the issues of today. We have to understand that their experiences are different than ours, we gave them a better more informed world where it is easier to spread lies-as Mark Twain said: “a lie travels halfway around the world before the truth puts its shoes on” and this was before the internet! We have to engage with our younger relations and younger people in general to share our wisdom and, as the Talmud did, allow them to share their wisdom without our disdain and with an eagerness to learn and engage with them.

One of my greatest regrets is I did not have enough time with my father to share and learn all of his insights. He was a person of faith and depth even though he was not considered religious. He believed in freedom and treated all people with respect and kindness-even those he disagreed with. He believed in honoring the dignity of all people, respecting women and hearing his children’s ideas and thoughts. My mother’s father, David Nagleberg, also died before I could even learn with and from him. I was blessed to learn from my father’s father, Abe and from my aunts and uncles. While I didn’t use their insights for good right away, they made my recovery, my return to decency and goodness a little easier and much simpler. My brothers, sister and I shared insights and continue to share insights, even when one of doesn’t want to hear them. The same is true of my experience with my daughter Heather and, of course, with Harriet. As Rabbi Chanina says in the Talmud (Tanit 7a): “I have learned much from my teachers, more from my colleagues and most from my students”. I am BLESSED beyond words for the years of sharing with students/people I learned with my insights and theirs. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel's Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growth

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 248

“It is not necessary for man to submit to the constant corrosion of his finest sensibilities and to accept as inevitable the liquidation of the inner man. It is within the power of man to save the secret substance that holds the world of man together. The way to overcome loneliness is not by waiting to receive a donation of companionship but rather by offering and giving companionship and meaning to others.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 83)

In the first sentence above, Rabbi Heschel delineates the issue facing all of us, especially as we age. In the next two sentences he gives us a solution and we have to engage in this solution in order to make it work for our benefit and the benefit of everyone. Please notice that this is not a prescription for Jews alone, it is for “man”/humankind.

The first bit of strength and encouragement we receive in the writing above is that we have the power to solve the problem that society and our history has proven to be so endemic to human beings. Reading the above reminds me of the verse in Genesis that says “mankind is evil from their youth” meaning, in this context, that “the constant corrosion of” our “finest sensibilities begins in our teen-age/formative years, even before our brain is fully formed and our spiritual knowing is so woefully underdeveloped. AND, we have within us “the power…to save the secret substance that holds the world of man together”- overcoming “loneliness” and stopping the “constant corrosion” and a non-acceptance of “the liquidation of the inner” person. We do this by offering and giving rather than waiting to receive. What a concept!!

In an entitled world, which has been this way almost since the beginning of humankind, we sit on our tuches’ and wait to be served. Just as in a restaurant, when we are not served quick enough, we moan, groan, yell, abuse the people we believe should be serving us. When we do not get what ‘we deserve’, we rail against ‘the man’. When we are so haughty and entitled, many people then believe the people serving them are slaves, indentured servants rather than human beings trying to make a living the best, and sometimes only, way possible for them. We are witnessing the “waiting to receive” attitude and how it makes people mean and miserable in our political realm, aka MAGA crowd who all feel ‘less than’ when anyone of color or non-christian/catholic gets ahead of them, accomplishes something they believe is theirs, earns more than they, etc. The entitled need someone to put down and the people on the far ends of both political poles continue to be exploited because of  this need by their ‘leaders’ who are actually opportunists seeking their own donations of money, power, status.

In an entitled world, we watch how companies and corporations cry and whine about being compelled to use safe practices, how they pay off people quietly for the wrong doings they have committed, how they ‘make’ people sign NDA’s in order to get the money due them, etc. We are witnesses to the exploitation of humankind by the anti-vaxers who want to live “survival of the fittest” idea to its illogical solution. We are watching ‘good people of faith’ deny the right to choose the health care they want and is best for them for millions of women. We are watching these ‘good christian conservatives’ roll back the Civil Rights and Voting Rights acts of the 1960’s because ‘there is no prejudice anymore’ according to Sam Alito and Clarence Thomas. We are watching our youth, in their search for connection, turn to a myriad of faux connections, their screens, the amount of likes on social media, alcohol, drugs, etc and blaming them, their parents rather than seeing how the unchecked marketing of drugs, ‘feel good’ panaceas, pushing entitlements/celebrities, and having the ‘good news bible’ of white supremacy blaring from right-wing conservatives day in and day out.

In all of these situations and more, truth is forgotten, alternative facts are all that matter, what the ‘leader’ says is good and what truth says is bad. Love is turned into false worship of the authoritarian and giving is for suckers! Here is where Rabbi Heschel’s solution is so crucial for the welfare of humanity. “Loneliness” can only be “overcome” when we are  “offering and giving companionship and meaning to others”. What I hear Rabbi Heschel calling us to do is to go beyond our selfish, entitled ways of being; to be “maladjusted to words and notions” in order to have “an authentic awareness of that which is” as he writes in his description of wonder in “Man is Not Alone”. We see bumper stickers saying “practice acts of random kindness”, we read often about the “good” people do for those in trouble, we are hearing more and more super-wealthy people giving the bulk of their estates to charities, we watch in awe of the men and women who volunteer for our Armed Services, we are in gratitude for the people who work in non-profits helping those in need while they could make a lot more in the for-profit world. We are witnesses to “thousands points of light” as President George H.W. Bush spoke about. Some of us are participants in these actions, veterans of these offerings and giving opportunities of companionship and meaning and how much richer are our lives for it. Yes, as we age, we have to make room for the younger generation and we have to raise them up right-as my grandmother used to say. Many in the recovery movement, like the therapeutic world, is succumbing to the greed of human beings and more about the bottom line of profit and loss than about the bottom line of saving a soul. As our institutions and governments succumb to the “constant corrosion of our finest sensibilities”, we, the people, the elders, have to help them reverse their corrosion through “offering and giving companionship and meaning” to themselves as well as to others. We have to help them remember their need to serve and offer, their need for meaning and “it is not good for humans to be alone”.

I have spent my entire recovery living into the solution Rabbi Heschel offers after spending over 20 years in abject loneliness which corroded my being and I kept selling/giving away my inner life and finer sensibilities. Since the beginning of my recovery, Rabbi Heschel has understood my loneliness and always has a solution for me to be connected. “Offering and giving companionship and meaning to others” has enriched my life to the point where even now, in my ‘older years’ when not too many people seek me out, I am not lonely, because I keep offering and giving my truth, my wisdom, my spirit and my love to all around me. This makes the rejection of some like flicking dust off of my clothes sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly. I know that I am never lonely. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel’s Teachings - A Daily Path for Spiritual Growth

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 247

“It is not necessary for man to submit to the constant corrosion of his finest sensibilities and to accept as inevitable the liquidation of the inner man. It is within the power of man to save the secret substance that holds the world of man together. The way to overcome loneliness is not by waiting to receive a donation of companionship but rather by offering and giving companionship and meaning to others.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 83)

This first sentence above, written 63+ years ago, is prescient. Rabbi Heschel warning us all about “the constant corrosion of his finest sensibilities” should be ringing 4-Alarm Fire Bells in all of us. Sociologists can document the corrosion since the beginning of time with brief interludes of humanity recognizing it, stopping it, growing our finest sensibilities only to have people seeking absolute power spread acidic tales which then begin the corrosion anew. We do not have to “submit” to this merry-go-round that has become acceptable, ‘the way of the world’ as some like to say. We do not have to accept the liquidation of our inner life into a pool of goop. We can and, I am positing, we must hold onto what makes us human, what makes us worthy of our existence and being a partner with the source of the universe, our inner life. What is it in human beings that we allow this “constant corrosion” to occur? I have been working with people, including myself, for the past 35+ years to help us reverse this corrosion and in order to do this, we have to first end its allure for us. Every human being is susceptible to this corrosion and suffers from it, some more than others and some are more aware of the corrosion than others as well.

The allure of “the constant corrosion of his finest sensibilities” is not having to live up to the standards set by our higher consciousness, our higher power, God, Allah, Jesus whatever you understand as the “prime mover” as Aristotle posits. Once we realize our inability to live into these standards, we continue the error of Adam in the 3rd Chapter of Genesis, we hide! We are afraid to admit our errors, we have such low ego strength that we are incapable of saying “oops I made a mistake” for fear of being laughed at, for fear of engaging in self-loathing, for fear of not being perfect among other fears. Rather than realize that to be human is to be imperfect, rather than appreciate the “Spirituality of Imperfection” a book that Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketchum authored, humanity/society has propagated the lie that we can and should be perfect-how ridiculous and how it decimates our “finest sensibilities”. When we begin to buy into societal norms and its mental cliches, we lose our ability to be human, we lose our ability to truly connect with another and we lose our ability for compassion, empathy and love for another human being and for ourselves. Our “finest sensibilities” teach us how to forgive the errors of another person, they give us the ability to appreciate the differences/uniqueness of everyone else and see their uniqueness as a gift that we can use for our benefit just as they can use our uniqueness for theirs. Rather than compete and cheat, our “finest sensibilities” help us cooperate and celebrate the ‘wins’ of another and know our ‘wins’ are part of the greater good we participate in. It is when we see life as a zero-sum game, when our egos are so weak, our spirits so underdeveloped that we believe we must “win at any and all costs” that lying, deception, cheating, using of people becomes the prevalent way of being, the pathways of faux connection, optics, looking good on the outside are the only things that matter-hence the emphasis on ‘celebrity’, power, knowing it all, doing good to hide the rot inside, etc.

We have willingly participated in the “liquidation of the inner man” since time immemorial. Slavery is such a liquidation, living the societal norms are liquidations of our inner life. Needing to be right is a liquidation of our inner life as is the need to be subservient so we can ‘get ours’ from someone we loathe. All of the ways we engage in deceiving ourselves, deceiving another(s), feed our false egos, hide behind the curtain a la the wizard of Oz, we are liquidating our inner life. Religion, as it has been practiced in modernity and before, has contributed to this “liquidation of the inner man” by demanding perfect adherence to bastardizations of the tenets found in the Bible, by making Jesus into a caricature of what the New Testament describes, etc. All of this to empower despots, to make the ‘common folk’ (almost all other people than those in power) subjects to their whims and worship the authoritarians. We see this in our Boardrooms, in our Politics, in our Institutions, in our families. When we are unable to admit our errors in judgement and in deeds, we are liquidating our inner life and we are adding to the corrosion of our “finest sensibilities”. When we are unable to give credit where credit is due, when we need to steal from one another, when we need to be jealous of another, when we need to feel bad about ourselves and blame someone else for our shortcomings we are liquidating our inner life and corroding our “finest sensibilities”.

Through these past 35+ years, under the tutelage of great teachers, my people and I have found a solution-it is an age-old solution- T’Shuvah is part of it, admitting my errors, realizing who is/was harmed by them, how they were/are harmed and what I need to do to restore the dignity I stole from them and myself as well as how/what I need to do to stop me from repeating this way of being. It is, actually, a return to the being I was created to be, that my soul/spirit is calling for me to be. As a former thief and conman, I have a PhD in the liquidation of the inner life and the corrosion of my “finest sensibilities”, so making this 180 degree turn was difficult and exhilarating, hard and the simplest action I have ever taken. Another part of the solution 1000’s of people and I have found is: Gratitude! We are told in the Bible: eat, be satisfied, and bless. From this we have found that eating is something we should do often (in proper measure of course-something I have yet to conquer completely), satisfaction doesn’t last forever nor should it because then we would stop growing, and be grateful for what we have and what we don’t have- cherish the teachers and friends, family and loved ones we GET to hang out with and learn from, wrestle with and embrace. Living into our “finest sensibilities”, ending the “liquidation of our inner life”, helping another human being do the same- this is the Jackpot, the Big Win of life and I am grateful to all who help me achieve this way of being and continue to help me be grateful and do T’Shuvah. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living in Rabbi Heschel’s Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growth

                                            Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

                                                             Year 3 Day 246

“This is one of the beauties of the human spirit. We appreciate what we share, we do not appreciate what we receive. Friendship, affection is not acquired by giving presents. Friendship, affection comes about by two people sharing a significant moment, by having an experience in common.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 83)

The last two sentences above are crucial to our understanding of what a friendship, an intimate relationship is actually based on. Most people are acquaintances, they are often need based and therefore time limited, and when the significant moment arrives where we actually need another person, our ‘friends’ turn out to be acquaintances and/or ones who show up when they need something and not the other way around. Other instances are the ‘friends’ who want to cozy up to people they think will help them or give them some celebrity/gravitas because of their closeness to hip, to power, to wealth, etc. There can be no real friendship nor true affection in “role to role” relationships. These are the I/It relationships that Martin Buber speaks about. They are also what I call I/object relationships where one person treats another as a tool, an object for their benefit with no real feeling or caring about the welfare of the person they are using.

We are witnessing this phenomena more and more in modernity and we recognize it more and more the older we get. We have the opportunity to impart the hard earned wisdom of what true friendship is from all of the battle scars we have from getting it wrong. We have the obligation to teach the younger generation of our errors and triumphs in having authentic affection for another human being and what it takes to maintain and grow this affection in all of our relationships, especially our intimate ones. We have become afraid to share a “significant moment” with another person because we have been laughed at so often for our seeking of real connection when so many people are only into ‘faux’ connection. We watch our political leaders put down authentic moments of grief by blaming people not guns so there is no need for gun control. We are witnessing one party relish the thought of being fascists and dictators while reveling in the idea they can end democracy and do this in the name of our founding fathers! No wonder our children and grandchildren don’t have faith in anything any more. No wonder they are so susceptible to the lies of Hamas and the far left as well as the far right and religious fanatics- they are searching for certainty and we in the middle have forgotten to teach them that there is no certainty, we are all just doing what we believe is best with the information we have in the moment. When we can share a significant moment, when we acknowledge our need to have a common experience, then we can hear one another’s perspective and wisdom which leads to authentic affection and true friendship.

We all need to stop believing in “alternative facts”, in the rewriting of history as the Republican Party is trying to do regarding Jan. 6th, as the Supreme Court is doing with the immunity case, the Dobbs decision, and the other ones they have overturned and look forward to overturning. We are not a country governed by the rule of law anymore, we are being governed by fascists and a Supreme Court that cares more about the wishes of the rich than real justice. We have to end our fascination with the Reality TV show that Trump and his minions and his puppeteers are running on our political stage. We have to do this because it has infiltrated all our relationships, it has made us suspect of everything and everyone. We are afraid to speak about the dangers that are hanging over us lest someone who is a MAGA will berate us, will shame us, will enrage us. We have lost the ability to “share a significant moment” because we are afraid of being real. This is one of the ways we have hindered our knowledge, I believe. We have bought into the lies of people so much that we accept the societal norms and cliches that we know are wrong and destructive. We have allowed these deceptions to penetrate our being and we have given into our own self-deception.

We have the solution, however. Letting go of our need for certainty, revealing to ourselves our self-deceptive ways, and offering a hand in true friendship and authentic affection to those who have helped us, those who have reached out to us, those who seek real connection with us. They are all around us, our children who need to see us as human beings with all of our flaws and greatness; people we work with who need to know we care about them, their families, their way of life; parents and family who need to know we know they did the best they could to connect and help us grow; friends who reach out and need our help and need to be needed by us; and the people we pass in the street with whom we share our space with and are in need of a smile and/or a hello. In other words, everyone we come into contact with gives us an opportunity to share a “common experience”-being human and a “significant moment”, the one we are in right now. Taking off our armor, letting down our guard will result in some pain because not everyone we meet will honor our attempts at true connection and the pain will pass quickly while the guilt from not doing this stays with us and turns to shame when we find out the ramifications of our imperviousness. Rabbi Heschel’s teaching above gives us the wake-up call, the opportunity to ask ourselves if we are happier in our own bubble or do we realize how necessary the true friendship and authentic affection that comes from “sharing a significant moment” and “having a common experience” are?

I have been blessed with both authentic affection, true friendship, real connections and the faux ones as well. The pain of finding out someone is having a faux relationship with me when I believed it was a real one is excruciating. I also know it is part of being human, I will recover from the pain and living as an open book, offering real affection is better than living the other way-since I have done both. I understand my grandfathers belief that if someone cheated or hurt them, it is sad for the other person and not a reflection of who they were. I am coming to the same realization, slower than they did and getting there. I know the “common experiences” I have had with people who have forgotten them or cared about them only as long as they needed something, I know the “significant moments” I have shared with people who decided they didn’t matter. I know the people for whom my way of being became too difficult for them and they decided to forgo the friendship, the relationship we had forged together. I know the people who withdrew their affection when it became uncomfortable to stand with me. I get it and blame no one, I understand the difficulty in maintaining friendships and have let some go that I needed to hold onto. I am grateful for the affection and friendship I share with people and for the love and gratitude I share with them and with my family. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel’s Teachings - A Daily Path of Spiritual Growth

                                             Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

                                                             Year 3 Day 245

“This is one of the beauties of the human spirit. We appreciate what we share, we do not appreciate what we receive. Friendship, affection is not acquired by giving presents. Friendship, affection comes about by two people sharing a significant moment, by having an experience in common.” (Insecurity of Freedom pg. 83)

Still in the chapter “to grow in wisdom” from his lecture at the Conference on Aging in 1961, Rabbi Heschel presents a very interesting concept above, one which humanity in the modern age has tried to deny and failed in our denial of the truth above. In a society that is so concerned with wealth and power, thinking these two things will protect us against old age and death, we have found neither one engenders authentic “friendship” nor “affection”. In the 63+ years since these words were written, society has focused more and more attention on “getting rich”, on “making it big”, on staying young looking through Botox, cosmetic surgery, etc. The idea of making it on your own has strengthened and the rich have given more and more to their children who appreciate it less and less. We have become an entitled society because of a lack of appreciation and gratitude for what we have acquired. We believe we ‘earned’ our wealth through our brilliance, rather than know we are blessed and have used our skills to make something of value; when being a celebrity because of marketing overtakes being valued because of what you add to the world, humanity is in grave danger of losing it’s appellation “very good”(Gen.1:31)

We have seen for a very long time human beings’ reluctance to share, we see it first in infancy, where we teach our children to share with their friends, we allow them to cry when they continue to believe they are the center of the universe, we help them learn self-restraint and then we see selfishness and harshness come back in their teen years-think “mean girls”, “jocks vs. eggheads” etc- and without parental influence, without teachers stepping in, this behavior gets normalized and we raise generations of “ME/MINE” adults. This belief that I can have whatever I want with little or no effort has resulted in a generation of “failure to launch” adults as written about by Mark McConville in 2021. He is recounting what Clergy, Parents, Therapists, Psychiatrists have seen for a long time and what has resulted in therapists and psychiatrists getting a lot of therapy hours and payments to ‘combat’ this dreaded disease. Rather than heeding Rabbi Heschel’s words, society has ignored them to our peril and to the detriment of our youth and young adults.

To share an experience with our children, with our peers is to join together in joy and sorrow, in creating and in letting go throughout our lifetimes. It is to teach gratitude and responsibility from a young age, it is to not allow the children to be the center of attention always-their needs come before the parents and/or anyone else’s-and to not ignore them as well. Finding this balance has been the bane of our existence since the beginning of humanity! Yet, we keep trying to find the right measure of both and, in our failures, we continue to learn more and more. We learn that giving our kids everything and/or nothing is not a path to appreciation and affection, we have learned that being our kid’s ‘friends’ means we relinquish our authority as their parents and elders as well as our wisdom from our own experiences. While each generation has proclaimed they will raise their children differently, they will raise the standards of living to be better, we are witnessing today more selfishness, more entitlement, more poverty, more senseless hatred, more mendacity, more danger to freedom than since before the American Revolution!

In our drive to ‘succeed’, we have almost lost one of “the beauties of the human spirit”, sharing, allowing people to work for what they have, and gratitude for what we have. As wisdom found in Chapters of our Ancestors teaches: “Who is rich? One who rejoices in their place, portion” ie, one who wants what he/she has. When we live a life of honoring others, of learning from everyone, a life of subduing our ‘evil’ inclination in order to use the energy to do good, and we find our ikigai, our purpose-all we can have is gratitude and the desire to share with another, share with the world our unique talents and gifts as well as receive from another(s) their gifts and talents so one doesn’t have to do it all. Living this type of life allows us to live in proper measure, to know we tend only a small portion of the garden and we need people around us to tend their portion so the weeds don’t become overgrown and wild. While we have lost this way of living in many areas of the world and in our own country, we can regain this path, we can teach our children and help them live lives of meaning, we can stop the accidental path of life from overwhelming us and live with and on purpose. We can return to a time where giving was another form of gratitude, where sharing our wealth, our ideas, our skills was the path we all took in order to “make a more perfect union”. We have to end our practice of “buying our children’s affection”, we have to end our practice of “I am only as happy as my unhappiest child”, we have to teach our children how to share and stand on our own, we have to help our friends with our support and counsel, we have to ask for and take the same from them. We have to change our ways so we can grow into the people our individual souls want us to be. We do this by sharing, not by taking.

I have lived both ways-entitled because my father died when I was a young teenager, thinking that I deserved more because I was so traumatized and this led to crime, alcoholism and prison. It also led to me thinking I was smarter than most people because I could ‘get over’ on them. At age 37, I found myself in a prison cell with very few people to call, seen as a pariah by my family and peers, except for the other people who were in the same boat as me. My change happened because of an ecstatic experience and my daughter’s letter to me. I made a decision that I could not live the way I had been living and honor my father nor be a father to my daughter. Since then, Heather and I have had many shared experiences. I have many shared experiences with Harriet, with the people I have been and am Rabbi for/to. I relish these shared experiences because they help me grow in gratitude, in awe, in learning and in witnessing the beauty of life. I am joyful for all the people I know who have ‘made it’ and the spiritual growth they have attained. I am grateful that I don’t ‘take’ anymore, I earn the respect and the love that I have because of the sharing of experiences, wisdom, kindness, love and truth with the people in my life. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark

Living into Rabbi Heschel’s Teachings - A Daily Path for Spiritual Growth and Happiness

Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel

Year 3 Day 244

“The years of old age may enable us to attain the high values we failed to sense, the insights we have missed, the wisdom’s we ignored. They are indeed formative years, rich in possibilities to unlearn the follies of a lifetime, to see through inbred self-deceptions, to deepen understanding and compassion, to widen the horizon of honesty, to refine the sense of fairness.”(Insecurity of Freedom pg.78)(Bold is used to highlight the sentence I am writing on)

In our youth, we are sure of our “rightness” in all of our thoughts and actions. Youth is a time of coming into our own, so to speak, and we are hungry to prove ourselves. We are sure we know more than our parents, as Mark Twain’s quote shows: “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” Today, most of us are unable to recognize “how much the old man had learned” when we are into our middle age much less at “21”. While it would be convenient to blame the young people, I find much of the fault lies at the feet of older people.

In our quest to stay ‘relevant’, to be ‘hip’ for our grandchildren, to not be ignored by our children, older adults do not spend enough time “to deepen understanding and compassion” within themselves and to teach our children how to do the same. In Deuteronomy Chapter 6, verse 7 we are told to “teach your children” all of our learnings throughout our lifetime-there is no end for our engaging in this Mitzvah. Yet, we have not done the work to “deepen understanding and compassion” within our selves enough to pass this wisdom on to our children. Many times, even when we have, our children and grandchildren are ‘too busy’ to listen and we give up too easily.

In our older years, we have the time and the luxury to look back on our youth, on our actions and see what we have learned from our ‘missing the mark’ and what we have learned from when we ‘hit the mark’. Many of us forget to review our successful ventures and miss out on important lessons they have to teach us. This review of when we ‘hit the mark’ also allows us to “deepen our compassion” for another who didn’t ‘hit the mark’, for another whom we may have harmed knowingly and/or unknowingly in our ‘march to the top’. We get to see how even when we did what was best for the situation at hand, we may have harmed another human being who also was doing the best they could. Taking the time to “deepen our understanding” of our decisions and our actions will bring us to a new level of vision and knowledge. It will give us the insight of growing our inner life and we will better be able to find the ways to speak to our children and grandchildren in ways they can hear us instead of expecting them to understand our way of talking. Allowing ourselves to truly look at ourselves and our actions for the sake of being able to live with ourselves and with everyone around us in truth, in compassion, in fairness and in love will give more power and meaning to the life lessons we impart and how to move forward a little better as we age.

“To widen the horizon of honesty, to refine the sense of fairness” is a call to “erase the margins” as Father Greg Boyle of Homeboy Industries teaches. It is a call to let go of the barriers we have erected throughout our lives to ‘protect’ us from ‘those people’, from ‘that happening to me’, and other such self-deceptions. When we “widen the horizon of honesty”, we are letting go of self-deceptions, we are jettisoning the societal norms and mental cliches that keep us stuck and we are taking a journey into the wonder of life, to a place of maladjustment and awe, to a place of mystery and beyond. We become explorers going to places never thought possible by society-we are Christopher Columbus, on a journey to discover a whole new world-truth and fairness, freedom and celebration, wonder, awe, surprises, and joy. In our youth, most of us are too busy trying to ‘make a living’ to take this journey and we get used to being stuck. There are some who go beyond and, while for years they were laughed at, in recent times they have become billionaires. In our ‘older years’ we have the luxury of time to reflect and see how, where, when we did “widen the horizon of honesty” and when we did “refine the sense of fairness” and when we didn’t. We have to obligation to teach these lessons to our children as well as repair our inner life for the damage we wrought on it when we failed to act in these ways. Taking this last phrase to heart and taking it seriously gives us an amazing opportunity to be more relevant, to be more important in the lives of our children and other youth and to impart the hardscrabble wisdom we have attained.

As I immerse myself in the words above, I realize that I have continually sought to “deepen my understanding and compassion” throughout my lifetime-in my youth it was this way of being that caused me to not be such a good criminal! In my teen years I was giving my “ill-gotten gains” to my mother and my brother because they needed it. In my older years, I lost this way of being and it became about me and my first wife and daughter-or so I said to myself. In fact, it was about the lies I told myself and my forgetting the teachings of my father and grandfathers of how important the last phrase above is. In my recovery, I have done a good job of living into these teachings and, as I reflect back, I realize my hurt and wound, my sense of betrayal at certain times caused me to be blind and less than compassionate, narrowed my “horizon of honesty” and my sense of fairness was about me not thinking about the other people were seeing the experience. I am sorry about this and this daily blog is my way of sharing what I have learned and how to live into this learning for my family, friends and everyone it reaches. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark