Ghosting God, Ghosting Self
Day 124
I hope everyone’s experience yesterday, Rosh Hashanah(for some the first of two) was uplifting and introspective, standing and sitting with trembling awe; the great experience of this Holy Day Season, and hearing the Shofar awoke your spirit, your intuitive mind, silenced somewhat your rational mind and quieted the self-deception part of your mind. Continuing to look at the Confessional on this 2nd day of the 10 Days of return, using the positive part of Tafalnu Sheker, acting presumptuously, is to be modest, humble, know one’s place and live into the authentic script of our soul. As Thomas Merton puts it, become the soul We the People are created to be!
Sitting in Temple yesterday, listening to the music of Rabbi Hazzan Danny Maseng, my friend, my teacher, and the amazing Sarah Lonsert, and the Choir under Danny’s direction was an out of body experience for me. It transported me to be immersed in the prayer, to pray in Ashkenazic Hebrew, the Hebrew of my youth, the Hebrew my father, z”l, would understand and the time flew by. The experience also made me think of the opposite/positive side of Tafalnu Sheker and how I was not being humble nor modest in this moment. I have a voice and I need to express the words God/Universe is giving me each day which I do in these blogs and need to figure out how to get the words God puts in my mouth, the words and ideas God fills my soul with, and not worry about the rap that I am too chaotic, that I am too loud, too brash.
Being humble and modest can only be achieved by living into one’s authentic script, jettisoning the one ‘societal norms’ calls for one to be, leaving not only your parents home, leaving their hold on one to be who they want one to be, rather than helping their child live into the person their soul is calling them to be. This is antithetical to how most of We the People understand what it means to be humble, to be modest because we the people have become adjusted to the societal norms of optics, aka what will the neighbors think; of getting ahead, being powerful, being wealthy aka, where is mine. Rosh Hashanah, the sounding of the shofar, the prayer L’Eyl Orech Din, acknowledging God is calling us to judge ourselves, and other prayers like the Grand Aleinu where we actually prostrate ourselves to demonstrate our commitment to surrender to something greater than our rational minds, our societal norms and begin anew to live authentically, to live into God’s calling, to live into ways of being that are compatible with being a partner with God in making our world a little better each day.
Knowing one’s place has been misused, misunderstood, and weaponized just as the Bible has, as Rosh Hashanah has become. In the Torah, it is a time for “a holy gathering”, for the blowing of the Shofar and for remembering, leading into Yom Kippur, the day of atonement, “a holy gathering”. Far too many of we the people use “knowing one’s place” to keep someone else out, it has been used in this country against every immigrant community, even though the Founding Fathers, Mothers, Sons, Daughters were either immigrants of children of immigrants, which is true to this day. Only the Native Americans can claim to be the original citizens and they may have immigrated from somewhere else. Yet, people in power, those fine ‘white male christian nationalists’ want women to ‘know their place’ and not vote, want “those people” aka people of color, people who are not white christian nationalists, to ‘know their place’ which in both cases is under the thumb of these ‘fine christian nationalist gentlemen’. And their are Jews, Muslims, Blacks, Gays, Hispanics who still support these bigots, these presumptuous assholes!
It is hard to take one’s proper place in the world. It is scary and, as the prophets attest to, dangerous. The need to compete, to go along to get along, to be part of something is so strong in We the People that many times we make the wrong choices, going against what the soul calls for and what God wants. I know this, to belong someplace, to believe somebody really knew me and cared about me, I went to criminals to find a home, to belong somewhere. Even though I was active in my Temple, I was at home in the Shul, the pull of ‘making money’, the lie of self-worth is equal to net-worth, with money you are someone, without it you are a nobody overwhelmed me because either I wasn’t taught, didn’t learn (both can be true) about T’Shuvah, about the call to see how being modest wasn’t/isn’t a bad thing, being humble didn’t/doesn’t mean you got shit on, that being good truly is its own reward and the only way in which I can live in my skin. I have found the power of return to be everything the prophets promised, using the confessional as my guide for the entire year, not just during these 40 days can power me to go beyond my own dreams and beliefs. I know the power of return, I know Judaism, 12-Steps, Catholicism, all call for confessions, for repairing the damage wrought to another(s), to oneself throughout the entire year, every day in fact and I know engaging in this path is my way to wholeness, to joy, to relief, to connection, to kindness, to love, to truth, to justice, to being a Mensch!
ACTION STEP
Write down how you are living into your authentic script and how you can continue to grow into your authentic self a little more this year
God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Stop Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark