Ghosting God, Ghosting Self
Day 71
Harriet and I have been speaking about “ignorance is bliss” as one of the most self-deceptive and societal things we say to ourselves and one another! Ignore comes from the Latin meaning “to not know, to disregard” and this is the crime of ignorance rather than the “bliss” of it. Ignorance, like FOMO, feeling of missing out, are both subtle and not so subtle ways of telling another human being(s), telling one’s self that you don’t matter! This is antithetical to the teaching in the Talmud that every soul is worth an entire world, so “whom ever destroys a single soul, destroys an entire world”(Sanhedrin 37a). Yet, we the people continue to leave people out on purpose, as a weapon and ignore people, situations, experiences that we ‘don’t like’ and everyone suffers for it.
Be it the ICE killings of innocent people, who’s only crime has been to stand up for their neighbors, to have come here for a better life for them and their children, is a total “disregard” for human life, is a total “not knowing” that everyone has infinite dignity and worth. Be it the everyday slights that occur when we refuse to say hello to someone in the store, walking by us, in our community centers, etc, when someone has decided that they don’t want to bestow their time and/or do not believe that another human being is ‘worth their time to say hello to’. Both the micro and the macro experiences of ignoring are criminal in the spiritual world, in the Jewish world. EVERYONE MATTERS or no one does, EVERYONE is CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD or no one is and societal norms and bullshit deceptions of both self and another(s), has created the lies we tell ourselves to deny the truths in capital letters above.
It is making me crazier and crazier thinking about the ways I ignored people, the ways I was willfully blind to situations, people, things because I had a view I wanted to preserve and sell to you, both before and during my recovery. The more I study, the more time I spend in contemplation, in writing, the more ‘errors of my youth’(any day before the one I am in) pop up. Everyday, I say hello to people, strangers and people I know, distant acquaintances and close friends, because this was my father’s way, my brother’s way and the older I get, the wiser they get:)! I keep paying attention to the news and to what is happening around me, when someone I know is sick, not feeling well, I reach out to see how they are doing, when someone is not around for a few days, I ask about them or, if I have their contact info, I reach out to them. This is not to pat myself on the back, rather it is to remind me and you of how “return again” is mandatory if we are to live life with and on purpose, with and in joy, bask in the light and brilliance of the God Image another human being is.
I have made the mistake, during my recovery as well as before it, to be too busy to say hello, to think I was protected and people ‘had my back’ and ignored what was happening around me, to not realize when “the end was near” and for the people who believe I was ignoring them, I AM SORRY. While it was not my intention, while I heard what they were saying, I let my belief in ‘my way’ override the constructive suggestions and rebukes of people who were trying to “make things better, one grain of sand at a time. This was MY BAD and the epitome of causing another human being(s) to feel discarded, which was never my intention and it was the result of my actions. Since Harriet and I began speaking about this idea, after both of us were ignored by someone we know, I have been seeing the ways I did the same and am sorry.
EVERYONE MATTERS is not a prominent theme in America today nor in Israel, unfortunately. It is only the rich and famous, the powerful and their thugs/cronies who are important. Republicans in the House and Senate don’t want everyone to have health care, don’t care how much premiums rise because they want their rich donors, their rich friends, their own wealth to grow and fuck the ‘little guy’. The ignoring of what is true and seeing the complexities and responsibility of both sides in the Israel/Hamas war, the Israel/Hezbollah war, the Israel/Iran war is cause celebre for the “Socialist Democrats”, celebrating Hamas’ horrendous actions on Oct. 7th was more important than being outraged at the murder of innocent babies, people, the rape, torture, capture of men and women, and children! What is the message to Jews everywhere, what is the message to non-Jews everywhere: you can ignore Jewish blood, as the world did during Hitler’s reign and care only about ‘our people’! This is a message that has been sent throughout the millennia and doesn’t validate the terrible killing of innocents by Israel. Holding both truths in our being is what being alert, being alive, being human are all about.
ACTION STEPS
What are you ignoring within your SELF and outside yourself that needs to be brought to light
How are you living the call from Mt. Sinai: “EVERYONE MATTERS”
GOD BLESS, STOP GHOSTING GOD, GHOSTING SELF, Rabbi Mark