Ghosting God, Ghosting Self
Day 45
The more I have been pondering the ideas of the past few days, the more eye-opening, mind-blowing, and soul-knowing they have become. Harriet and I were speaking and Harriet’s belief, along with mine, is our unwllingness “lets go and return to God” stems from our need for certainty, our inability to admit to our imperfections, and, Harriet adds, knowing that we will die. Since we the people are the only animals that know of their mortality, as far as we know, impending death and our fear, our not wanting to admit it is a natural process of life, creates within us a burning desire to ‘be eternal’. The issue has become, as Trump shows us, the need to be the ‘biggest and the best’, to “kill the competition” as Bezos is trying to do with Amazon, to kill my enemies rather than feed them, help them when they are in need goes against the dictates of the Hebrew Bible that Ben G’Vir, Smotrich, and Bibi use as reasons for their mistreatment of Palestians in Israel, in the West Bank, and in Gaza. Be it Putin, Trump, Netanyahu, et al, the all of these little men are trying to ensure their names for eternity, like Attila the Hun, Napoleon, Hitler, et all as the ‘worst of the worst’, so they can puff out their chests and walk with a strut that says, I am the “baddest man in the whole damn land”. Maybe because they fear their death so much, because they fear they may have to answer for their deeds in the world to come, they think immortality here is all that matters.
At issue for We the People in this moment, in all moments, is whom do we want to learn from? Is learning from the Greeks, the Romans, the King Solomon and his descendants, the trough we want to drink from? Is learning from King David, who knew how to admit his errors, who is known for his bringing together the different factions within the Jewish people at the time, who is known for, supposedly, writing the Psalms more in line with our divine call? We the People are faced with this issue on a daily basis. Misguidedly, too many of us continue to believe our names on buildings will bring us eternal respect and being known, too many of us believe that ‘making a name for ourselves will bring us eternal glory, and so cruelty, winning at any and all costs becomes the way of the world. Rather than living with Radical Amazement as Rabbi Heschel suggests, rather than “love your neighbor”, rather than feed your enemy if he is hungry, too many of we the people are under the spell of the autocrat who reminds us to “suspect your neighbor”, “get retribution from your enemies”, all that matters is power, control, wealth and white men being in charge. Is this REALLY the way to honor and live into the words of Hosea: “let us walk and return to God”? If you listen to these ‘fine christian nationalist white men, and women,” it is!! All so they don’t have to face their own mortality, their own imperfections, their own lowliness as humans rather than being exalted like God.
As I wrote the last sentence I blinked twice, once because it did not come from my mind, aka, from my soul, my connection to God, and the second time because it is a lightening bolt to me. In the program of AA, in every spiritual discipline, living into one’s proper place and with proper measure is crucial to living well. In the Bible, every human being is created in the Image of God! From this, the Rabbis realized: “to save one soul is to save an entire world…each of us comes from Adam… and each of us in unique”, so there can be no ‘who’s the best”, no naming of the “GOAT” because no one can live like I do, no one can bring to the table the talents, insight, brilliance that each of We the People have individually so this bullshit of “I am the Best”, “I am your retribution”, “I am a genius”, Trump’s depicting himself as Jesus, “I have stopped 8,9… wars” is RIDICULOUS and only comes to show how fearful these people are at facing God, at looking at their own imperfections, their own inablity to be worshiped like God. It is sad and dangerous, pathetic and cruelty comes from these fears. And, we the people who are not confronting the lies and the bullshit, who are not “walking the path of returning to God” are just as responsible-knowing the crimes of another, not trying to stop them, not bringing them to justice goes against the principles of Justice, Love, Righteousness, Truth found in the Bible.
Sitting here, at my computer, I realize how I have fallen into this trap in subtle ways. While I no longer equate my self-worth with my net-worth, I still have to always have cash on me-which seems more and more ridiculous as society is heading towards a cashless way of doing business. I also know the need to be seen, to be held in esteem, to be known and, this need has morphed into knowing another(s), to respecting and holding another(s) in esteem, seeing another(s) human being for whom they are, not what they can do for me. My writing is the “bully pulpit” I have now, it reflects my prophetic voice, my spiritual and moral inheritance from my ancestors and God.
ACTION STEP: Face your mortality, your imperfections, your own place in the universe with joy, with compassion, with strength and resolve
God Bless, Stop Ghosting God, Ghosting Self, Rabbi Mark