Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Year 4 Day 241
“Before the judgment and memory of God we stand. How can we prove ourselves? How can we persist? How can we be steadfast? Through repentance.” (Moral Grandeur and Spiritual Audacity pg. 69)
We are truly in the Home Stretch! We have 3 full days to get our shit right, do our inventories, make our amends, have a plan to enhance the good and not repeat the not good and then be in Synagogue on Wednesday evening to hear/recite the Kol Nidre Prayer and be forgiven! OY, do I, do you have enough time, have we spent too much time in resentment and anger, too much time patting ourselves on the back for our brilliance, too much time ignoring the errors of our ways in the past year because we were too engaged in celebrating the cruelties we have inflicted upon another or have witnessed ‘our people’ doing to another? In other words: WTF?!?!
It is disheartening to witness the various so-called spiritual communities which preach belonging, we want you, you matter and other such platitudes disrespect, disregard and displace people based on their pettiness and pride, envy and enmity. It is disheartening to hear the clergy preach so passionately about ‘we are one’ and treat some people as ‘the other’. It is disheartening to have the stewards of these so-called spiritual communities shove people who are threatening, who are not guppies, blind followers out of the way, stabbing them in the back while smiling to their faces. These practices of the various so-called spiritual communities playing to the rich, extolling themselves for helping Israel while crying poor, are what We the People have to repent for. It is not the so-called spiritual communities fault; the errors lie with the people entrusted to steward the congregation, to lead the people out of the Egypts/narrow places we all find ourselves in, and these trusted servants have become the authorities, the know-whats-best, benevolent (or not) dictators. It is all about the people-the leadership and the members, it is all about us, as individuals making up communities and groups-do we stand in repentance/TShuvah or do we stand in being right, in being cruel to ourselves as well as to another(s)? These are some of the questions we have to face if we are to be forgiven, these are some of the introspections we have to engage in if we want to experience forgiveness.
After all, God is not the ‘guy in the sky with a long white robe, beard and staff sitting on a throne’, God is the energy that keeps the world and the planets in their proper place, God is the energy that lives in each of us, the Image we are created in, that connects with the greater spiritual power in the universe. It is, in my opinion, our souls, our knowing that we “stand” before in “judgment and memory”, that we are trying to “prove ourselves” to. It is “The Man in the Glass” to whom we are called to answer and far too many of us reject this command, this GIFT of spiritual housecleaning, the joy of experiencing forgiveness and a clean slate. Without facing ourselves in truth, without getting naked in front of ourselves-seeing our foibles as well as our greatness, We the People, especially the members of so-called spiritual communities, are no different than the current autocrats in charge in the U.S. and in Israel! We the People engage in our own unique cruelty while putting on the airs of being so welcoming and kind, so serious about our commitment to the poor, the needy, the stranger and in practice hold ourselves out as better than, act like the benevolent rich of olden times. I ask again: WTF?!?!??
“How can we prove ourselves? How can we persist? How can we be steadfast? Through repentance.” This is the challenge of this moment and every moment according to the Talmud and the Bible. Are we hearing the calls of the prophets, of Moses, of God, of the Rabbis to continually do TShuvah? Are we going to commit to living life as imperfect human beings striving to repair the harms, knowing our limitations, respecting the infinite value of every human being, honoring the infinite dignity of every human being, rejoicing in the uniqueness of every human being? Are We the People going to jettison our pettiness and pride, our envy and enmity so we can “beat our swords into plowshares…so nation does not lift up sword agains nation and neither shall men learn war anymore”? Are We the People engaging in “repentance” so deeply that, this year, we will truly change our ways, find new pairs of glasses with which to see the world, to see one another, to recognize and speak to the Image of God in everyone? We the People are more than capable of rising up, of being “steadfast”, of proving “ourselves” if and when we make the decision to “persist” in our repentance! As Hillel the Elder asks: “If not now, when?”
I have been doing this introspection for 38 years, I uncover new nuances to things I did years ago. I have been guilty of the ways I outline above and have/am in repentance over these errors. I am outraged at the lack of teaching about TShuvah/repentance in our Jewish Institutions, I am outraged at the two-faced ways of being that so many Jewish leaders, lay and professional, exhibit. I am outraged that, in this moment of chaos, in this moment of cruelty, We the Jewish People are NOT leading the path to wholeness and forgiveness, to repair and new responses by leading the world, leading the country in doing TShuvah, by being in “repentance” daily. We the Jewish People are NOT being the “Light unto the Nations” we are called to be by Isaiah. We the Jewish People includes me and you, as is said: every Jew is responsible for every other Jew-so we are all responsible for the errors of another and the community! OY!! I pray for the souls of the current leadership, I pray for the awareness of We the People that repentance will save us, will heal us. We need repentance this year so badly! God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark