Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Year 4 Day 243
“Repentance is an absolute, spiritual decision made in truthfulness.” (Moral Grandeur and Spiritual Audacity pg. 69)
TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT!! At sundown we will begin the celebration of Kol Nidre leading into the most AWESOME day of the Jewish Calendar-Yom Kippur1 It is the last day(almost) to clean up the shit from last year, to rejoice in the good and figure out how to do more good in this new year-which has technically begun and not really begun. Until we deal with the past year, successes and failures, repairing and improving, we cannot begin anything new with much hope of success. This is the beauty of, and the wisdom of the Torah in telling us to take the 10 days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur to finish up last year’s business. The Rabbis, in their wisdom, knew it would take more than 10 days for most of us so they declared the month of Elul, the one preceding Rosh Hashanah, to be a month of TShuvah, of introspection, repair and enhancement.
We have done the work, hopefully, and the BIG DAY has arrived. While many Jews see this day as awesome in the sense of fear and dread, some even believe the fate of the individual is decided by ‘the guy in the sky’, looking at the liturgy, having done the work of TShuvah, of introspection, of repairing and enhancing, tonight and tomorrow is a celebration of being clean of last year’s shmutz(aka shit), being clear-eyed as to what is necessary to live well in this year 5786, what we can do to make our corner of the world a little better, whom we have to stay connected to and whom we have to distance ourselves from, how we can “love the stranger” a little more and better, how we can “redeem our kinsmen” a little more, how we can “rebuke our neighbor and not bear guilt because of them”, how “we can NOT run after the majority to do evil”, and so many other ways of being. One of the benefits of doing the work we have been doing for the past 40 days (just like the 40 years in the desert) is we have “circumcised the foreskin of our heart” and we have followed the command: “Choose Life”.
After the chanting of the Kol Nidre Prayer, we are told: “You are forgiven according to your words”! We are forgiven because we have engaged in the work of TShuvah these past 40 days and, hopefully, every day at least from now on. So the rest of the 25 hours we will be in the awesomeness, holiness, and uplifting prayers is a gift to ourselves. It is a time for us to forgive ourselves, it is a time for us to come together as a community and give one another a break, see how we have committed the same, similar actions as the ones we abhor in another(s), how we go to extremes and have not noticed the person next to us, in front of us, or behind us as anything but an impediment to getting what we want, or as a tool for getting what we want. It is a day to remind ourselves that God doesn’t forsake us, we forsake ourselves. It is a day to remember that We the People, as individuals have to “hear our voices” and the voices of the poor, the needy, the stranger with compassion and grace. We the People, as a community and as an individual have to accept our foibles and those of another(s) We the People as a community and as an individual are called up to receive the stranger, the poor, and the needy within ourselves with compassion and kindness. Recommitting to “cause ourselves to return”, “not be distant from our souls, our inner life”, is the gift of this day!
How can tonight and tomorrow not be a celebration for us? It is the renewal of our marriage vows with God, with our souls, with community, with our enemies. It is an experience of oneness with everything-for 30 seconds at least. How can we not celebrate the gift of admitting to everyone in the community the “exact nature of our wrongs”? We no longer have to hide in shame nor embarrassment, we no longer have to “worry about what they will think of me” because ‘they’ are admitting to the same errors, the same missing the marks! We are all ‘sinners’ who commit to change, we are all penitents who are repairing our errors, improving our actions and committing to living better in this next year. WE ARE NOT AFRAID OF THE TRUTH COMING OUT! If this isn’t a reason for celebration, I have no idea what could be.
I have treated Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur as a day like a wedding! Rabbi Heschel’s idea is on Yom Kippur who would want to eat with so much connection to the universe and to our inner self, our higher consciousness, our spiritual selves? I have found this to be true for myself and a myriad of people who I have served as their spiritual leader. I am rejoicing in the moment, I will celebrate this day sitting next to my wife, imagining my daughter Heather and grandson Miles sitting next to me, seeing my ancestors standing with me during the Yizkor Service, knowing I have done the best I could this year to bring everyone into the gates of TShuvah before they ‘close’ on Ne’ilah. I do miss not leading Services, I do miss not having the joy of seeing the awe and the glory on the faces of people as they awaken to the celebration of freedom. Oh well-maybe next year:) I am so grateful to my friends and family for their love, I am so grateful to all of you for reading this blog over these past 4+ years. I am so grateful to my ancestors and teachers for nurturing the spiritual thirst that has propelled me these past 38 years to a life way beyond my deserving and a life of joy, celebration, love, kindness, meaning and purpose. I am grateful for finishing two books-which are available now: You Matter TOO and Daily Life Lessons of Rabbi Heschel. God Bless, G’Mar Tov, Easy fast, and stay safe, Rabbi Mark