Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Year 2- Day 7
“The world has fallen away from God. The decision of each individual person and of the many stands in opposition to God. Through our dullness and obstinacy we, too, are antagonists. But still, sometimes we ache when we see God betrayed and abandoned.” (Moral Grandeur and Spiritual Audacity).
Antagonist comes from the Greek meaning “struggle against” and it is an apt word to use regarding the way humans consistently “stand in opposition to God”. Through our crazy and persistent struggle against decency, spirit, Godliness we are witnessing the unmaking again of hope, truth, love, kindness, compassion, justice. This is happening, I believe, as an outgrowth of our identifying with our hurt and pain so we engage in unnecessary suffering/neurotic suffering. We hold on to resentments a lot longer than we hold onto gratitude in most cases. We nurse our wounds physically, mentally, emotionally a lot longer than the pain of these wounds last. We fail to realize that unnecessary suffering keeps us in opposition to God, keeps us struggling against what we know is the next right action to take and we persist in this craziness.
We do this because we keep believing the lies and deceptions of another(s), we believe that some human can fix us, some human will beat up our ‘opponents’ and we will get even and vindicated. We are looking for mommy and daddy to make our wounds feel all better! We have been taught by example that it is easier to feel bad than do good, it is easier to blame than be responsible for our part only, it is safer to keep the status quo rather than be maladjusted to these ‘normal’ ways of living. We have made unnecessary suffering a badge of honor, a way of thinking and acting that allows us to abuse another person because our wounds are worse than theirs, our mistreatment was/is worse than yours, it has been going on longer than yours, etc. The self-help book shelves are full of the answer, the mindfulness has become an industry, life-coaching is a big business, all because people are in search of relief to their wounds, relief from their sufferings without ever realizing their contribution to this unnecessary suffering.
When we allow the pain of our wounds to pass, when we examine our part in our suffering, when we can accept that people enjoy hurting another for their own gain; emotional, mental, financial and accept what is rather than complaining, rather than immersing our selves in our hurts, rather than languishing in our suffering, we are on the road back to our own Godliness, our own healthy road of living, and our own shedding of the skin of negativity. We do this by doing the work of this time of year: making an inventory of the ways we are not being who we are and the ways we are being authentic. Writing down what blocks us from being partners with God, true to our souls nature, belonging to a community that heals instead of hurts, that uplifts instead of putting down, that believes in the power of the human spirit instead of believing in their own power. In this writing we find our ability to hear our soul’s call, the call of Godliness that has been blocked for a while and/or gets blocked in certain situations. We find the persistent and crazy ways we struggle against our own best interests, our own Godliness in order to ‘keep up with the Jones’ in order to feel like we are part of something, in order to be vindicated in our suffering.
Pain is an essential part of being human. The first pain is the separation from the energy of the universe when we are born. We are all spirit prior to this moment and now we are matter and spirit. How to incorporate these two seemingly opposites is a life-long adventure and no one gets it perfectly nor constantly correct! We experience pain often and many of us are so engaged in our suffering we can no longer discern when the pain is gone and where the suffering has begun. We are able, however, to let go of our struggle against Godliness, we are able to surrender to the Higher Truth of Godliness and we are able to surrender our suffering so we can find our authentic self. This is the challenge and the work of all spiritual disciplines. This is the essence of religious traditions, eastern philosophies, and spiritual paths-letting go of suffering and embracing momentary pain while growing and learning from the pain as well.
In recovery, we are recovering our Godliness, we are recovering our basic goodness of being and we are letting go of the suffering we held onto for so long. We realize the suffering did us no good, it harmed us and we, in turn, harmed those around us. We realize we are not doomed to living a life not of our making and we become aware of our need to be partners with God, with another(s) to improve our corner of the world and lean into our authentic self.
Unnecessary suffering has always been a bad friend to me. I know it has made me resentful in the past, it is a path that leads to my inner turmoil and to my misery. I still go there at times, I just leave this way of being much quicker. This doesn’t mean that I take on the burden of every situation, it doesn’t mean that I accept all blame and responsibility for any given incident, it means that I accept and acknowledge my part and feel sadness and pathos for someone who can’t accept theirs. I am freer this year than last because I continue to realize the subtlety of unnecessary suffering, experience the pain, ask God and people close to me for help and move forward. I forgive the people who are unable to take responsibility for their part as God has forgiven me in the past. This is one way I practice Godliness. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark