Daily Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Day 227
“We, however, live on borrowed notions, rely on past perceptions, thrive on inertia, delight in relaxation. Insight is a strain, we shun it frequently or even permanently. The demand, as understood in biblical religion, is to be alert and open to what is happening.” (Who is Man pg. 115-116)
Rabbi Heschel’s teaching above regarding insight is so true and valid that we often do not pay attention to it! “Insight is a strain” because it takes energy, courage, discernment and a journey to the inner life. Most of us are unwilling to take this journey, discern truth from deception, courage to stand up for what we know to be true and right, and the energy to follow through on our insights no matter what. Rabbi Heschel is reminding us that we are too afraid to take the journey into our inner life, too afraid to see what is true and right within us, too deaf at times to hear the call, the demand, the urging, the love of a force we cannot explain nor can we logically validate. We are afraid to ‘go with what we know’ in our inner life, our souls because we would have to be, at times, like the Prophets-speaking a higher truth that most people do not want to hear, a solution that most people do not want to expend the energy on to make it reality, a path that will not make us popular and, in some cases, get us killed.
This journey is also the path to the good and the joy we have in living. It is also the path of serenity and clear-sightedness so we can live joyously. It is the only way to live as free people, with the ability to make Free-Will Moral Choices as Rabbi Abraham Twerski,z”l, teaches. It is, in my estimation, the only journey that makes life bearable, worth living and gives us the truest direction and purpose to our lives. Without taking this journey, believing it to be too much of a strain, shunning it because it is too hard, we lose the freedom to be unique divine reminders and, instead, become automatons, parroting someone else’s lies, someone else’s manners, coming under the thumb of whomever is ‘on top’ in the moment. We are seeing this in our politics, we see this in our refusal to battle Covid-19 with the science, we see this in our inability to have sensible gun laws, we see this is the blame game and finger pointing every time there is a mass shooting, which there are way too many. We see this when a young man can cross state lines, kill two people and be acquitted for defending his life? We see this when Tucker Carlson and his band of merry liars are praised, worshipped and never questioned. We see this when companies pay fines and do not admit guilt. We see this when, rather than have a difference of opinion, we use ‘alternative facts’ of known liars to justify our positions. We see this when we are willing to elect people who want to take freedoms and rights away from any group other than our own. We see this when we are willing to sacrifice our “knowing in our bones” for popularity, for dominance, and for power.
The journey to our inner life is not a long journey, however. It is a journey we always are making, our inner life is constantly calling out to us, the problem is we are not answering the call, we are not taking the time and the energy to hear the voices that are constantly debating one another in our inner life. We are shunning the dialogue, we are refusing to discern truth from lies, reality from our fantasies, our authentic voice and unique purpose from our self-deception and the deception of another. We all have experienced our ‘stomach tied up in knots”, this, for me, is the sign that my inner life is calling out to me and wants me to pay attention. It is the moment when one has to stop what they are doing, put the car in park and check the map to make sure the destination and the route are the correct ones for this moment. This is not easy nor does it come natural to most people. We can, however, learn this skill, we can, however, cultivate our inner life rather than passing the ‘stomach in knots’ off to something we must have eaten. This is the challenge for all of us, every day, every hour, every moment. We will never achieve perfection and we can, and must, seek progress if we are to grow as human beings, as a society and fulfill the commandment to care for the earth, for the creatures and for one another.
What we are recovering in recovery, I believe, is our authenticity, our integrity, our uniqueness and purpose. We begin by saying I have a problem with reality, I can’t solve it on my own, and I am willing to live in concert with moral and spiritual principles. This is the beginning of our journey to our inner life, to living free and to living in truth.
I sit here embarrassed by the many times I shunned insight, both my own and the insight of another person/people. I owe amends to my daughter Heather for not seeing her more clearly and not hearing her more clearly, for not seeing her situation clearer and letting my fears for her overrule what my inner life was trying to tell me. I owe amends to Yeshaia Blakeney for not hearing his insight clearer and allowing him to lead rather than me try to stay ‘in control’. I owe amends to the alumni who have needed me when I was not able to respond because of the politics of organizational life and my own inappropriate action. I owe amends to Harriet for not seeing clearer what was unfolding and being more prepared and more responsive instead of reactive. I owe Harriet amends for not protecting “our child” better and letting my ego get in the way. I owe myself an amend for not listening to my inner voice more and fighting against what I knew was happening. Stay safe and God Bless, Rabbi Mark