Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Day 211
“The question is not where is the event and what is the surprise, but how to see through the sham of routine, how to refute the falsehood of familiarity. Boredom is a spiritual disease, infectious and deadening, but curable.”(Who is Man pg. 115)
The root cause of boredom, I believe, is our inability to take in what is authentically happening in this moment, without regard to the moment before nor the moment after this one. Rabbi Heschel teaches us that every moment is precious and unique, “no two moments are alike” he reminds Carl Stern in their televised interview that was aired after Rabbi Heschel died. When we are unaware of the grandeur and beauty of this moment, when we are willfully blind to the importance of this moment, when we forfeit our sight of what is right now for what was and/or what will be; we are living a very boring life and a vapid meaningless life.
This is not to say we don’t have plans, this is not to say we are not learning from our past success and missing the marks, I am saying we have to be present in this moment in order to have plans that are doable, goals we can actually fulfill, dreams we can pursue and achieve, and apply the lessons we learned from our missing the marks. Being present in this moment is the only way to being loving, to being human. Many people are able to lie to themselves that they are being human because of their charitable work, because they provide food and sustenance for people through employing them, because they are on the “right” side of things/issues/religious beliefs, etc. Yet, they are not connected to the moment they are in, they are thinking of who to take revenge on, how to get their way, how to win at any and all costs, how to preserve their image, how to be the ‘smartest person in the room’ or at least the loudest, etc. These people who lie to themselves, often unknowingly, are leaders of industry, media darlings and stars, politicians, husbands, wives, bosses, parents, etc-in other words, all of us to a greater or lessor degree. I don’t know of a person who is present in all moments, yet I do know many who strive to be and achieve a great deal of success in this realm; they are usually more joyous, more positive, more hopeful, more courageous, more innovative, more connected and loving than those who stay bored and not present.
When we clear our minds of the ‘shoulds’ we grew up with and with the negative self-talk we have allowed to foment, we are able to see what is, change what should be changed, as Reinhold Niebuhr teaches us in the Serenity Prayer, and accept with clarity what cannot be changed, We are able to see what truly is, see the people in front of us for who they are, no longer depend on someone to ‘save’ us and no longer put ourselves at the mercy of inauthentic people. When we see what is in this moment, with clear vision, with the foreskin of hearts circumcised, we are present and can never be bored because we will respond to the call of the moment, we will love with all that we have in this moment, we will be connected to the excitement and celebration of connection to the moment, to the people, to the cause, to the work, to the call/demand, to the text, to LIFE!
As I am writing this, I believe this is the purpose of a L’Chaim toast-to be present, to celebrate this moment we are in, to be grateful and loving and connected to the moment, to the experience and to the people we share it with. L’Chaim is not for whiskey, it is not an excuse to drink, rather it is a recognition of the moment, it is to rejoice in the moment and, in our misguided way, we have instead used a moment to become inebriated, to take ourselves out of the moment with stimulants rather than allowing this moment to stimulate us to be present in the next. This is one reason, I believe, that boredom is so infectious and deadly.
In recovery, we know that we ‘get’ to be in the moment, we know that every day we are aware, present and engaged is a gift. We are so acutely aware of this precisely because we were so unaware of this prior to our recovery. We achieved certainty in our past way of being, the certainty of boredom, the certainty of deadening our spirits, our hopes, etc. In our recovery, we seek with gusto to be present as much as possible and to welcome the moments of our life with hope and know we are able to respond to whatever comes our way.
I have not had any alcohol pass my lips for 33 years and 5 months and I have said and meant more L’Chaims than in the previous 37 years of living. Letting go of the boring way of being is joyous and authentic for me. I have gotten into trouble, I have been inappropriate and chastised, I have been lauded and thanked, I have helped people save their own lives and I have celebrated with people who moments before hated me and/or I had not so much love for. Being in the moment allows me to discern what is true and right in this moment, it allows me to welcome people who have hurt me, be joyous for their success’, meet them in their sorrows, know that they meant to hurt me and are so blind and boring they are unaware of their own duality. Being in the moment also allows me to experience change in myself and in another person and being in the moment allows me to be excited and focused. Letting go of boredom is not easy and it is essential for me to be loving and real. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark