Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Day 173
“Over and above the din of desires there is a calling, demanding, a waiting, an expectation. There is a question that follows me wherever I turn. What is expected of me? What is demanded of me? (Who is Man pg. 107-108)
In the second, third and fourth sentences above is the ‘ikar’, the main principle of being human, of being a contemporary of God, of being created in the Image of God, in being the highest evolution of the animal kingdom if “God” talk is to much for you. We are all being asked questions, not the usual ones from another person, the deep, disturbing inner questions as Rabbi Heschel illustrates above. Rabbi Heschel follows me wherever I turn, expecting, demanding and I know I fall short, don’t we all. His activism came from him hearing the demand and the expectation that nagged at him, that motivated him, that made his life have meaning, purpose and love-I believe.
We all have these questions following us, we all know that there is an expectation for and of us. Yet, we run from these, we blame another for ‘putting them on us’, we develop psychiatric/psychological diagnosis’ from not meeting the expectations of another or that we put on ourself. We do put false expectations on ourselves, we do buy into society’s expectations and demands of us and these are not what Rabbi Heschel is teaching us about in my understanding of his words today. We use these excuses to evade and avoid the demands and expectations that our talents, purpose, gifts, call out to us to use and employ for the betterment of our corner of the world, to recognize and assist another human being and to care for one another with love, kindness, justice, truth…
We have seen glimpses of people answering the questions that follow and haunt them. We have see the breakthroughs in the way governments work, from the Royal Family/King/Pharaoh model to more democratic governments and, of course, back to dictators and tyrants, even in the democratic models! We have seen glimpses of people responding to the demands of their souls/force in the universe by creating amazing music-Mozart, Beethoven, Sinatra, Ella, Billie, Beatles, etc all practiced their craft from their spirits, they all heard a melody, a phrase, etc in their beings and translated it into a song, score, etc. We have seen glimpses in our scientific breakthroughs, Pasteurization, Flu shots, Cancer treatments, Polio Vaccines, Covid-19 Vaccines, all represent the response by humans to a demand that not just society placed upon them, a demand that was causing them sleepless nights, an anxiety that motivated them and an inner calling that would not stop, I believe.
What most of us miss, however, in Rabbi Heschel’s words is that all of us have a demand and expectation coming from our inner life, from our spirit/soul. We all have a call and a demand to stop whining about victimhood, to stop blaming another, to stop shunning our responsibility for our own actions and for moving forward in our care for the needy, the poor, the stranger within us and outside of us. Rabbi Heschel is not saying all of us are going to be Superman and save the world, he is reminding us that there is a demand for all of us to take better care of the planet so the world will be saved. He is disturbing us so we will all stop aiding and abetting the Putins of the world and the dictator inside of us. He is reminding us of the expectation that we will be human and not just for our own sake, rather for a higher and more meaningful purpose. Rabbi Heschel is calling us to face the demands and expectations and meet them to the best of our ability each day, I believe.
In recovery, we say expectations are resentments waiting to happen. Yet, the expectation that Rabbi Heschel is speaking of is the purpose and goal of recovery- BE HUMAN, imperfect, responsible, just, loving, kind, truthful, caring and compassionate towards another and towards oneself. We are constantly engaged in being human in recovery and we know we fall short at times, so we have amends/T’Shuvah. We are constantly hearing and doing the best we can to respond to the questions and the demands and the expectations to live well and do the best we can today.
I find that these questions got buried, I got deaf to these expectations and demands. I realize that the onslaught of negativity, the lack of responsibility by anyone else involved in my demise and the sadness of being exiled blinded me and deafened me to the questions, demands and expectations of God and I am embarrassed (happily). I allowed so many emotions (real and false) to cloud my inner life that I stopped hearing and looking for the demands and expectations. I am on the hunt now. I know that there are people who will never own their part, I know that I have to let them and my need for recognition go, I know that I have more to give and the demands of God are clearer and stronger. I also am realizing that I allowed people talking at me and in my ear to block the call, the demand and the expectation that is true and right for me now. While my gifts and talents haven’t changed (they have matured and gotten better), where I offer them and who needs them has. Letting go of my expectations, letting go of the expectations of another person(s) allows me to hear and respond to the expectations of God, of the universe and of humanity. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark