Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Day 162
“What is the truth of being human? The lack of pretension, the acknowledgement of opaqueness, shortsightedness, inadequacy. But truth also demands risings striving for the goal is both with within and beyond us. The truth of being human is gratitude; its secret is appreciation.” (Who is Man pg 114)
Continuing to experience Rabbi Heschel’s question and response above, we find ourselves, hopefully, discerning what he is teaching us about ourselves. Yesterday, I discussed the path out of pretense and today, I will discuss opaqueness. Opaque comes from the Latin meaning ‘to darken’ and is used in language to mean, ‘hard or impossible to understand, unfathomable’. This is a pretty apt description of most of us, we darken our outer shell, we keep ourselves less than transparent in order to not be seen. While it is wonderful we acknowledge this truth, it is horrific that we continue to live this way, that we continue to have to live this way out of fear. Think of the fear of a person of color who cannot hide the color of their skin in a whiteness society, in a racist atmosphere and, when people of color are “Black and Proud” as the 60’s chant went, the racists hurl all sorts of epithets at them. Yet, this same whiteness society is afraid of being seen so they wear hoods! The terrorists who killed Daniel Pearl for being a Jew, wore hoods, some criminals wear masks and others hide their identity on the Internet. Some creeps lure young children with false profiles online, some people post hatred and lies just because they can. While they acknowledge their opaqueness through their actions, they are unwilling to stand up and experience the consequences of their behaviors.
We are experiencing a different type of opaqueness now as well, our Senators who are grilling the newest nominee for the Supreme Court, Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson, is being grilled by racist minorities like ‘lying Ted Cruz’ as his good buddy Donald J Trump calls him and white supremacists like Josh Hawley about her skin color, not her qualifications. While I know this is a ‘get back’ for questioning Brett Kavanaugh’s morality, it is disgusting and their inability to acknowledge how they are ‘darkening’ the call for freedom that our founding fathers honored with the Declaration of Independence is disgusting and terrifying at the same time.
To live in the acknowledgment of our opaqueness means we also have to become more transparent! We need to stop hiding behind the darkening of our motives, our actions, our fears and our indecency. We have to stop hiding behind the ‘rightness’ of our positions. We have to begin to see another human being’s soul, we have to allow another human being to experience our soul. We have to engage in soul to soul relationships, not just for our intimate relationships, not just for family and friends, rather in all of our affairs. I can be both in the role of Rabbi with you and show you my soul, my inner life, in fact, if I don’t what kind of Rabbi am I? Our world is in desperate need of not just acknowledging our opaqueness, we have to do something about it!
We are living in times that have been experienced before in our history by people and Rabbi Heschel certainly was living in times where war with Russia could mean nuclear disaster, we were mired in the Civil Rights struggle, Vietnam was beginning and he was against it, opaqueness was what we got from government and from business, from Clergy and from friends-‘what will the neighbors think’ is not a new phrase/saying. Yet, he stood up and showed himself regardless of whether he was heard, understood, ridiculed and/or followed. His way of being teaches us to acknowledge our ‘darkness’ so we can shed light on it.
In recovery, we strive to be an open book, we continue to peel the layers of the onion, that thin membrane that, while seemingly transparent, covers and darkens our true self. In recovery, we are aware the more transparent we are, the more we can and will live well and serve another with joy and wholeness. Acknowledging our opaqueness is only the beginning, we continue to tear away the coverings we have placed on us and allow more light, more connection and more love in and out of ourselves.
I remember reading in Torah: “Circumcise the foreskin of your heart” while in prison and Maimonidies’ teaching: “what is in your heart should be on your lips” and made a decision to stop hiding. I have worked on opening my soul up to be seen for the past 33+ years after hiding it from the hurt and pain of being real and transparent. Living this way is not easy nor painless, it is deeply wounding when another human being takes advantage of our transparency, it is difficult to keep being open when I know more bullets are coming, someone will use my vulnerabilities against me and call me their friend and Rabbi! It is difficult to keep one’s openness and hope in a world filled with ‘darkened’/opaque souls who are not even willing to acknowledge their opaqueness and the call God has given me, the demand the Ineffable One makes of me is to keep going. Rabbi Heschel’s wisdom and teaching lives on in each one of us who, despite the damage, despite the fear, continue to not only acknowledge our opaqueness, continue to “circumcise the foreskins of our hearts” and continue to be transparent and connected, kind and truthful, loving and just. God Bless and Stay Safe, Rabbi Mark