Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Day 143
“It involves an awareness of the grandeur of existence that may be wasted, of a waiting ignored, of unique moments missed.” (Who is Man pg 113)
Continuing his teaching about embarrassment, Rabbi Heschel is reminding us of the joy of embarrassment and the embracing of it rather than the hiding from and fear of embarrassment. At issue for all of us is whether we are aware of “the grandeur of existence” in the first place. Herein lies the greatest problem of humankind, I believe Rabbi Heschel is teaching us: our existence is grand, miraculous, a gift, and we need to stop taking it for granted. We waste our existence by not being aware of the grandeur of being alive, of the grandeur of being a divine reminder, the grandeur of being a divine need, the grandeur of being able to love, laugh, cry, mourn, connect, be kind, etc.
Our generations, the 21st Century is not that different from other times in history; we are constantly hiding from “the grandeur of existence”, we are constantly staying unaware of the amazement of being alive, being able to think, speak, care for another, bring new life into the world, and if we are able to be aware, we seem to be unable to sustain this awareness and grow it. We are too caught up in our own self-centeredness to be aware and therefore incapable of being embarrassed. Yet, our unawareness could be the beginning of our embarrassment which would lead to becoming more aware of the grandeur of our existence, the grandeur of the existence of every human being, animal, nature, etc. This awareness along with the embarrassment would lead us to “nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall men learn war anymore.”(Isaiah 2:4).
God is waiting, Rabbi Heschel teaches us in his interview with Carl Stern and I have a new way of experiencing this concept. How often have we left someone waiting for us, be it because we are ‘running late’, we forgot, we ignored their cry, we turned away from the misery of another human being, we stayed focused on our self, etc? Every time we keep someone waiting, we keep God waiting. Every time we ignore the call, the need, the cry of another human being, we keep God waiting. Each time we stay silent in the face of wrongdoing, evil, we keep God waiting. We deceive ourselves into believing that these calls from fellow humans should go unanswered because they have “to figure it out themselves”, they should “pull themselves up by the bootstraps, just like I did”, “my father beat me and it made a man out of me”, etc. While the immigrant makes good story is a true and wonderful one, it is the rare one today as we have made immigrants the enemy, people of another faith the enemy, people of a different color the enemy, etc. We ignore moments of waiting whenever we make separation rather than connection. We ignore moments of waiting whenever we make someone else bad/less than us so we can feel good about our self. We ignore moments of waiting when we need to conquer another rather than cooperate to build a better world.
Many of us do get embarrassed by “unique moments missed” once we realize them, yet this embarrassment is not used to help us sharpen our senses to stop missing unique moments, most of us use it to put another person down and/or feel bad about ourselves. Rabbi Heschel is teaching us that every moment is unique, every moment is pregnant with beauty, awe, amazement, grandeur, joy, aliveness and it is only us humans who dull our senses, being stale, blind, uncaring. We have the opportunity to end our willful blindness to the uniqueness of each moment. We have the power within us to appreciate that this moment will never be again and we can seize the power of it, the joy of it, the holy of it, the connection with another this moment brings, the connection with God, the connection with our inner life, our soul. We have this opportunity with each moment and, while none of us will ever be ‘perfect’ in this task, we can all improve our awareness of the grandeur, the waiting and the uniqueness of each day, week, month, etc.
In recovery, we have a daily inventory to help us be more aware of the grandeur of existence, the waiting we have ignored and the waiting we have answered, and the unique moments of the day. We, who have been unaware for so long and delved so deeply into the morass of degradation and ignorance, know it is our life that is at stake if we do not stay aware of the grandeur of living, of hearing and responding to the waiting of another and God, and awaken to the uniqueness of moments in our day and our life. In recovery, we train ourselves to be embarrassed when we ignore this way of being.
I am embarrassed for the times I took existence for granted and have not been aware of the grandeur of it, I am embarrassed for the times I thought; ’same shit, different day’ and I am so remorseful for the waiting I ignored, the unique moments I have missed. I also am grateful for the overwhelming moments of appreciation of the grandeur of existence, the relishing of it, the gratitude to God for my being able to live in this grandeur and the showering of love from my parents, siblings, wife, daughter, grandson, extended family, and friends. I am grateful for all the calls I have answered and the ones I will in the future of people who were waiting for a helping hand, a person who could meet their concerns. I am so grateful for recognizing the multitude of unique moments in my life and the lives of people around me. I am embarrassed by the joy of life I experience and the embarrassment helps me realize the many joys I have. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark