Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Day 150
“There is hardly a person who does not submit his soul to the beauty parlor, who does not employ the make-up of vanity to belie his embarrassment. It is only before God that we all stand naked.”(Who is Man pg 113)
Our inability to accept “before God that we all stand naked” is the root cause of our employing “the make-up of vanity” we wear and our unwillingness to be embarrassed. Rabbi Heschel’s wisdom is a reminder for all of us to stop trying to hide from God, from ourselves because it just isn’t possible. All of us, at one moment or another, come face to face with our authentic self and face our self without make-up and are unable to get to the beauty shop for our soul quick enough.
What happens when this moment occurs is the greatest challenge for us, as I am understanding Rabbi Heschel’s words today. Either we run to the beauty shop and put on more make-up so we can get relief from our embarrassment and our experience with God and authenticity or we can allow our awareness of our embarrassment move us to change our ways, continue to take off the old make-up and turn to a spiritual practice to enhance our already beautiful soul. Unfortunately, most people choose to run to the beauty shop as quick as they can and put on more and more make-up.
People who are defensive and blame the victim are people who are unwilling to be authentic, who are afraid of standing naked before God. People who dominate another are people who keep putting on the make-up of superiority and snobbishness, people who engage in mendacity and untruths to get chosen/elected are people who run away from standing naked before God. Putin and the other authoritarian rulers/dictators using fear and punishment to hold onto and expand their personal power and wealth are people who are afraid to stand naked before God.
These ways of being are learned, however, not innate. Adam and Eve were not afraid until they ate of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and after becoming aware, they had a choice and they chose to hide! We see children/infants who are totally authentic, they have not learned to hide, they have not been taken to the beauty parlor of the soul and not had “the make-up of vanity” put on them yet and they are a joy and a wonder to behold. It is us, parents, adults who teach them to hide, teach them that their authentic self should not be exposed because of our fear of them being ridiculed, shunned, etc. While our initial reasoning is ‘good’, it is flawed because it sets our children on the same path of spiritual unhappiness, spiritual hiding and spiritual misery/depression/anxiety that we suffer from. Our fear of being seen for our inauthenticity is as great as our fear of being seen as an authentic self. We have placed ourselves in a no-win situation.
This is where Rabbi Heschel’s teachings are so helpful, they light the path back to authenticity, to wholeness, to stop going to the beauty parlors and putting on the make-up. Allowing our self to be embarrassed is the response to acknowledging our shortcomings, our errors, our inability to fully appreciate our greatness, our call from God, our awareness of where we are and where we are going, our determination to repair the harm we have brought, the good we have done and find ways to enhance our living one grain of sand at a time. Awareness, embarrassment and T’Shuvah go hand in hand and they give us the pathway to change, the ability to stop going to the beauty parlor, the courage to put away our “make-up of vanity” and the Grace to stand naked before God-it just doesn’t get any better than this.
In recovery, we have the experience Rabbi Heschel is teaching us above. We have gone to the beauty parlor, put on the make-up, and lived inauthentically for a while. For most of us in recovery, we had a moment of standing naked before God that made an impression, an awakening if you will and this propelled us into recovery. What we recover is our authenticity, our integrity and our connection to something greater than ourselves as well as true connection to the people we love and learn how to truly care for the well-being and the soul of another human being.
Oy! I have stood naked before God often and I hear God’s assessment of how well I am hearing and heeding God’s demands/calls to me. This is the difference between now and 35 years ago. I was naked before God and I heard God’s call-I was like Jonah and ran away from or tried to. God always caught up with me. I look back on these last 33+ years and I see when I put on make-up and I am embarrassed. I also see when I did not and I was received with love and when I wasn’t. I am realizing how blind I have been at times. I am not afraid to stand naked before God nor have I been because I know each day I do, I grow, I make my T’Shuvahs, I accept the T’Shuvahs of another, I forgive, I move forward and I learn. I have closed down the beauty parlor I sent my soul to, I have thrown away the make-up I have used for years and I stand up straight before God and before people, apologetic for my errors and unapologetic for being who I am. I am blessed to have people who care and love me enough that they love me without make-up and without any ‘beauty touch-ups’. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark