Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Day 139
“Embarrassment is the awareness of an incongruity of character and challenge, of perceptivity and reality, of knowledge and understanding, of mystery and comprehension.”(Who is Man pg.112)
Our challenge from Rabbi Heschel is to be embarrassed by our “awareness of an incongruity of perceptivity and reality”, yet so many people are unable to distinguish the difference so there is no difference! When we listen to the grifters, liars aka politicians, power-hungry despots, ‘experts’ on what God wants, racists, haters spin their false ideologies upon an unsuspecting group of people who drink it up like guppies, we are too unaware to even be embarrassed.
Whether it is Trump, Cruz, McConnell, McCarthy, or their minions spreading these ‘alternate facts’, or Putin, Orban, MBS, Taliban, ISIS, etc spewing their self-serving deceptions, or ‘religious’ leaders telling people they know what God wants and only their way is the right way, we are bombarded by the perceptions of another(s) so much, so loudly, so powerfully, it is almost impossible to not believe them. We fall asleep at the wheel of life when we allow the perceptions of another(s) and/or our own perceptions to become a stand-in for reality.
The difference between perception and reality has been with us from the beginning of our humankind. We perceive a threat so we go into fight or flight mode often when there is no threat. Just because a Black young man is walking along the street in Beverly Hills in the evening doesn’t mean there is a threat to anyone’s life, wallet, etc. Yet, I have seen police cars stop this young black man just for being black because his skin color is a perceived threat by a group of people who view racism as rational! Just because one person is a Jew and another person an Arab, doesn’t mean they are threats to one another, yet the perception is, in many people’s heads, that they hate one another and they will kill one another given the opportunity. Just because a Muslim is arguing about something happening in America doesn’t mean they are a threat to be a suicide bomber, yet the perception is, in some circles, they must be and every Muslim is here to impose Sharia law on America. Just because someone says something louder and louder and at every opportunity they have does not mean it is real, just because it is on the internet, on TV, Cable, Radio, Newspapers, etc doesn’t mean it is real.
We see the results of our unawareness of reality, our not being in agreement with reality and believing our perceptions and/or the perceptions of another(s). Germany in the 1930’s and 1940’s, Rwanda in the 1990’s, wars in the Middle East since 1948, Afghanistan in the 2000’s, Putin’s invasion of Ukraine today-all have their roots in buying the perceptions that another person(s) have conjured up because we are intellectually and spiritually lazy! We are afraid to be embarrassed so we go along with people who appeal to our baser desires; power, prestige, money. We stay unaware of our incongruities in order to not be embarrassed by them, we defend our lies and the lies we are being told in order to not be embarrassed and aware. We do this so we don’t have to change, we don’t have to stand up to our lying leaders, we don’t have to worry about ‘losing it all’, we do this because we are not willing to stand with God!
Not being embarrassed is so much worse than being embarrassed. The embarrassment of our awareness of our incongruities between perceptivity and reality is much better than the embarrassment of believing the mendacity and engaging in the self-deception that our perceptions, the perceptions/pictures people are painting!
In recovery, we are constantly seeking to distinguish between what is real and what is our perception. Immersing ourselves in recovery engages us in this search as we come to find out how our actions impact another, how are resentments kill us and spread poison throughout our system and the spiritual/emotional systems of another, and our need to engage in a daily practice of seeing the truth of our day, our living.
As a former con man, I know painfully well the damage my selling another person on my perceptions and/or giving their perceptions support in the face of reality. I believed my own BS for a while and upon being arrested again in 1986, finally heard the voice of God, the voice of reality that had been speaking to me forever. I was embarrassed then and I am embarrassed now when I become aware of my own incongruities between what I perceive and what is real. I continue to study Rabbi Heschel so I stay grounded in reality. I continue to speak with Rabbi Ed Feinstein so I stay aware of reality. I continue to engage with my writing so I can compare my perceptions to what is real. I continue to argue with Harriet Rossetto so I do not become willfully blind to my incongruities. I continue to hear the voice of God, the voice of reality, the call of my own soul so I can be embarrassed. I welcome this embarrassment because it means I am aware and I can change. I have been unaware at times and it has cost me and some other people dearly and for this I am also embarrassed. I also forgive the people who sold me on their perceptions for their own needs and used me for their purposes. I also ask forgiveness from anyone who perceives that I have done this to them. God Bless and stay safe, Rabbi Mark