Daily Prophets
Day 123
“…Ishmael… came to Gedaliah…and there they ate bread together in Mizpah. Then arose Ishmael..and struck Gedaliah…with the sword and killed him. When Johanan…and all the captains of the forces with him heard of all the evil that Ishmael…had done. They took all the men and went to fight with Ishmael…”(Jeremiah 41:1,2,11,12).
Gedaliah was appointed by the captain of the Babylonian Army to be governor of Judea. This would allow some self-rule within the confines of being conquered by Babylonia. However, Ishmael, a descendant of the royal family of Judea, was convinced by the king of Amnon to kill Gedaliah so he, the king of Amnon, could have power over the people. I believe Ishmael thought he would be restored to the throne after he helped the king of Amnon capture Judea. He was, of course, wrong.
In looking at the first verse above, Ishmael, who was known to Gedaliah and whom Gedaliah was warned about, came to break bread and eat together, presumedly, as friends and fellow sufferers of the destruction of the Temple and the Kingdom. Gedaliah had been warned that Ishmael was going to kill him and he could not believe it, how could a fellow Jew kill another Jew after what had happened to the kingdom of Judea, after everyone had fought together to save it. Gedaliah must have thought ‘Ishmael is my countryman, my friend, he would not harm me-he knows that I am here at the pleasure of Babylon and I am fair and concerned for my people’. He was wrong, whether through misguided beliefs or arrogant beliefs.
Gedaliah did not see who Ishmael was and the anger, hatred, jealousy that was boiling inside of him. Ishmael did not see who Gedaliah was, doing the best he could to keep some autonomy for the Jews in Judea and Ishmael did not see himself as being used by the king of Amnon. He was so consumed with anger, rage and jealousy that he could not see what was true and what wasn’t. Nor, could he hear the still small voice inside of him that was probably saying ‘don’t do this’.
This is the greatest problem we faced then and now. The Midrash on the destruction of the 1st Temple is it was destroyed because the powers that be perverted justice and took unfair advantage of the poor and the needy and the stranger. They refused to hear God’s call to return and do the next right thing. We are still in the same situation. Political power has joined with wealthy power to ensure them continuing to be in power and take the power of choice away from everyone else, all the while convincing the people that they are the “good guys”.
Gedaliah fell prey to thinking that people meant him well and he did not see who was standing in front of him, rather he saw who Ishmael could be, he saw his facade, not the real Ishmael. Johanan, saw the truth about Ishmael and Gedaliah could not hear nor believe him. This blurred vision is what killed Gedaliah and it continues to kill us today; morally, spiritually, as well as literally.
While Rabbi Heschel does not comment on this chapter specifically, he speaks often of ‘self-deception’ and mendacity. In God in Search of Man, on page 10, he states “self-deception is is the chief source of corruption in religious thinking, more deadly than error.” Gedaliah and Ishmael both engaged in self-deception and because of that, Jewish History was changed. Today, many people in this country and across the globe are doing the same thing, engaging in self-deception so deeply that they can no longer discern truth from fiction.
In recovery, we put on a “new pair of glasses” as Chuck C’s book title suggests. We get to begin repairing our vision and, many times, we go to the opposite extreme and see everything as beautiful and don’t recognize the danger and the mendacity of another(s). This is helpful and kind to NO ONE. As we grow in recovery, we learn to discern better and stay away from the people who only show us a facade, being kind and loving and not trusting everything they say or do. A true both/and. In recovery, we see ourselves for who we truly are as well and each day take actions that bring us more in concert with our true selves, rather than the false self we created so many days, weeks, years ago. In recovery, we put on a “new pair of glasses” and see the colors of the world, not just the dark nor just the white. In recovery, we see life in its glory and beauty along with the ugly and mendacity and deal with life on God’s terms.
I have been guilty of being both Ishmael and Gedaliah. I took advantage of people in my years prior to Recovery a lot. Like Ishmael, I was full of rage and anger at society and the people in it. I saw only ‘what can I get from you’, never the true you and I harmed many people and harmed myself for years. Today and for the past 32+ years, I have been better about seeing people for who they are and meeting them where they are at. When I get betrayed, I am usually surprised, like I am sure Gedaliah was. The hurt of betrayal, however, lessens as I see my errors in vision. Remember, “Et tu Brute?” We have all had these moments, and I choose to use them as failing forward moments, lessons to grow by. There are still a few of these betrayals that will never stop hurting, and they don’t ruin my life anymore. I would rather give someone the benefit of the doubt than miss an opportunity to connect. Stay safe and God Bless, Rabbi Mark