Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Day 51
“While man’s concern for others is often tainted with concern for his own self and characterized as a lack of self-sufficiency and a requirement for the perpetuation of his own existence, God’s care for His creatures is a pure concern.”(Man is Not Alone pg. 143)
I am continuing with this teaching because it kept me disturbed for the past 24 hours. Rabbi Heschel is reminding us/teaching us that God has no other agenda than our welfare, our betterment, our growth, our healing, our living our passion, purpose and divine need. He is contrasting this pure interest with the interests that we humans exhibit.
We are not expected to be without self-concern, in fact, I am worried about someone who has no self-concern as it could mean a lack of self-reflection, a lack of self-knowledge and a lack of self-sufficiency. We humans are somewhat self-sufficient and not totally self-sufficient. We are told in Genesis, Chapter 2, “it is not good for human to be alone”. Yet, we try and portray ourselves as ‘rugged individuals’, ‘self-made people’, etc. We are none of these false phrases, we use them to prove our self-sufficiency rather than acknowledging we need aid and assistance to live well. As I am reading Rabbi Heschel, again, this morning, I realize the taint with concern for our own self is not a bad thing.
Hillel said: “If I am not for my self, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?” I hear this call in these words of Rabbi Heschel. We have to have be for our self, our soul, our beingness and not expect everyone else to care for us and not denigrate the gift of life God has given us! We have to grow our self, our spirit, our intellect and our emotions, to maturity and that takes a lifetime and a lot of outside help. We do not need to hide our concern for self in our concern for another. In fact, owning our own agendas in our interactions is the best way to a) get more done, b) have more cooperation and collaboration, c) learn more and different ways to grow our skills, the skills of another and d) build stronger community.
Rather than obfuscating our self-concerns, let us broadcast them loud and proud so people around us can make the choice to join, aid, teach, learn from a place of truth and transparency rather than from being deceived or their own self-deceptive place. If we believe that our self-concern is legitimate, holy and being ‘for my self’ ie, for my soul, why hide it? This is my problem, and I believe, Rabbi Heschel’s problems with the charlatans who purported to be speaking the “Word of God” all the while spreading hatred, bigotry, anti-semitism, anti-muslim, anti-immigrant, etc. They never spoke their agenda and bastardized the spirit and word of God for their own self-centered needs, not for their concern for their self/soul. I think this is an important distinction, self-centered needs are egotistical and totally selfish, self-concern needs are to promote a healthy self-image, a healthy intellect, ego and spirit.
We are being inundated with the mendacity of people who have only one goal in mind, power over us! The attacks on the truth, the lack of transparency, the need to BE RIGHT, on both ends of the spectrum are the poisons we are being fed each and every day, 24/7. We need to differentiate between self-concern and self-centeredness, we have to differentiate between mendacity and truth, and we have to differentiate between authentic and counterfeit. It takes getting out of our need to be deceived and having real self-concern so we can have real concern for another. We are not supposed to have “pure concern” because that is God’s realm and God’s beingness, we are supposed to limit our self-concern when helping another person so it doesn’t become self-centered.
In recovery, we are constantly seeking to care for our self, which is why it is called a ‘selfish program’ all the while improving our self, maturing our self, hearing our self, so we can be of more service to another, especially those we have harmed prior to and in our recovery. In recovery, we are not seeking purity, we are seeking progress, we are not seeking total enlightenment, we are seeking to grow along spiritual principles a little more each day. In recovery, we learn to let go of the self-centeredness and self-deception so we can serve our authentic self and the authentic self of another.
I have been disturbed about this sentence because it is so nuanced and I see the ways I have not always lived in the nuance. I am unashamed of my self-concern and deeply remorseful for my self-centeredness. While people may think they know the difference, I have come to realize I know the difference, I know when I have been in self-concern and when I have been in self-centeredness and I am aware of how the errors I have made, for the most part, have come from my concern for another and lack of concern for self. I have been a responder and that has taken time away from me, family, etc. I have taken time off and learned to say no and that has helped reconnect me to my self/soul. I know the wisdom of working hard to not ‘buy one’s own press’ because that is the slippery slope to self-centeredness and self- deception. I am happy being Mark and not trying to be God. Stay safe and God Bless, Rabbi Mark