Daily Life Lessons from Rabbi Heschel
Day 31
“If life is holy, as we believe it is, then self-regard is that which maintains the holy. Regard for the self becomes only a vice by association: when associated with complete or partial disregard for other selves. Thus the moral task is not how to disregard one’s own self but how to discover and be attentive to another self.”(Man is Not Alone pg.141)
Rabbi Heschel is reminding/teaching us how to be in the world and who we are in the world in today’s quote. “Life is holy” is a phrase that we forget to honor so often in our own daily living. We forget that we are already holy beings, infused with the spirit/breath of God and we have the opportunity to grow our holy life as well as impact the holy lives of every human being we come into contact with each day. “Life is holy” hits us right between our eyes, it rings in our ears and opens up our hearts when we allow it to. We have to take seriously this phrase, “Life is holy” in order to have true self-regard.
What passes as self-regard to many people is actually self-centered profanity, as I am reading Rabbi Heschel today. We keep trying to amass fortunes, fame, prestige, power, thinking that this is how we value our selves, this is how much self-esteem we have, this is how we engage in self-regard. I am calling BS on this idea as I am understanding the quote above. Our attempts at making ourselves look good by putting another person down, being puffed up proud of how we ‘beat the competitor/friend/human being’, forgetting those people who helped us in our time of need and making them our ‘enemy’, power for the sake of power-not to help another person; are some of the paths of false self-regard. Actually these are paths to self-destruction. We are actively working to tarnish if not destroy our innate holiness, we bastardize the truth: “life is holy” and turn it into: life is profane and I revel in profanity. We jump on people who use ‘four-letter words’ while reveling in the way we live profanely.
Self-regard is, in my opinion, any and all actions which honor my being and are compatible with my being a creation of, child of, partner with the Ineffable One. In this vein: proper amount of sleep is self-regard; eating appropriately is self-regard; proper measure of work and home life’s self-regard; friends who are transparent and real, seeking truth and shunning falseness is self-regard; appreciating family for our connection to and encouragement to be me they give us is self-regard; continued learning and growing-welcoming our failures as opportunities to learn is self-regard; daily T’shuvah/inventory of where I missed the mark and where I hit the mark each days self-regard; not giving in to the false needs, manipulations, lies, mendacity of societal norms is self-regard; leaving relationships and jobs when they are as good as they can get and/or we realize the self-deception we bought into and we leave with our dignity is self-regard; to name a few of the many paths of true self-regard.
“Life is holy” and maintaining the holy is a full-time job-which we know and need to be reminded of. I think of all the ways we become oblivious to this obvious truth! Maintaining the holy within us takes awareness, acceptance, respect, compassion, creativity, practice, community/connection and independence in my experience. We have to stay aware of our holiness and accept that we are holy and need to maintain our holiness. We have to respect our selves as holy beings and with respect we have to include compassion for our imperfections. We need to be creative in our thinking and actions in order to have a practice of maintaining our holiness each day. Community, connection and independence is the path of honoring the need we all have to connect and be a part of with our need to bring our unique vision and gifts to our world is necessary for maintaining our holiness and having self-regard. We all have been given the tools, the opportunity for true and real self-regard and it is our ‘job’ to take advantage of these opportunities.
In recovery, while we don’t necessarily say “life is holy”, we take holy actions in order to maintain and grow the spiritual awakening we experienced. We continue to grow our ‘program’ and we know that our recovery is dependent upon our spiritual condition! We seek ways to care for our self truly, honestly and with reverence for God each and every day. We continue to improve our conscious contact with God and turn our will and lives over to the care of the Ineffable One each day. We establish a daily routine that is never done routinely-staying fresh and open to hearing God’s call. In recovery, we know that maintenance is the key to living well.
I am overwhelmed by today’s quote and will continue to use it on Sunday! “Life is holy” is a belief I have held continuously for almost 35 years, since I was arrested in 1986. I am thinking of all the ways I have maintained my holiness and the ways I have profaned it in these years. While I have profaned my holiness at times, I know that I live more holy today than I did when I began this journey, prior to my recovery, etc. I am also aware that my profaning is more nuanced because of how much I have grown in holiness and I don’t always realize this. I am aware that people will use my dips/profaning of my holiness against me as a “gotcha” and most of the people who do this either are guilty because I have helped them or jealous that I have succeeded in living holy. “Life is holy” is giving me the power to let go of resentments and have rachmones for the people who need to use my vulnerabilities against me. Stay safe and God Bless, Rabbi Mark